Thursday, December 03, 2009

Laying Down the Knife

We recoil in horror at the thought of someone mutilating themselves, cutting themselves, and yet many of us do the same thing with relationships. I know I have done so, many times. I can look back on my life and see a long-standing pattern of using relationships to cut myself and crush my own heart. It's a sick-ass way to use people.

I have to admit the thought is repulsive to me. I've never thought of myself as a user, because I am a lover and a giver. But paradox exists within us. Otherwise, we could not reflect it in our "outer" world.

In any case, I am done with this. I am laying down the knife. No more cutting myself or otherwise abusing myself using the instrument of other people.

I am declaring my independence from the practice of self-mutilation. I am free!!!