tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322969042024-03-14T02:53:26.154-05:00Cultivating a Succulent LifeWhat is a succulent life? It is living on purpose and allowing the love and light of your own True Self to shine through. It is intentionally living and acting in ways that increase the flow of love and light in this world. It is having your purpose and your passion aligned. It is letting go of expectations, and experiencing the full measure of love, joy, peace, pleasure and passion that comes from being fully present - right here, right now. It is juicy!Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.comBlogger186125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-30347121147234577872023-11-25T08:20:00.000-06:002023-11-25T08:20:28.020-06:00Empowering - Powerful Questions<p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Why do I always have more than enough money?</li><li> Why can I afford anything?</li><li>Why am I aware of my worth and my value?</li><li>Why does money come to me easily and effortlessly?</li><li>Why does God's blessing make me rich and bring me only joy?</li><li>Why does my income always greatly exceed my expenses?</li><li>Why did my net worth increase rapidly and exponentially?</li></ul><p></p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-23378170438441832792023-11-25T07:51:00.005-06:002023-11-25T08:11:37.213-06:00Self Love, Self Care, Self Development<p> Doing mirror work, you will hit some resistance. DO NOT STOP!!!</p><p><b>**********************************************************************************</b></p><p>Lasting, Relaxed, Reliable, Unshakable Self-Confidence Has a 4-cornered Foundation</p><p><br /></p><p>1. Automatic Success Mechanism: You have to have silenced the critics and be able to neutralize them.</p><p>2. Superior Knowledge: You know you know or are busily acquiring the knowledge.</p><p>3. Superior Skill or Competence: This can be developed through imagination.</p><p>4. Ability to Relax: So you know you can perform under pressure.</p><p><br /></p><p>Build Greater Confidence</p><p>1. The very best way to build self-confidence is to do something toward your goal every day. Focus.</p><p>2. Establish a self-monitoring system. List 10 things you can do toward your goal. Give yourself a check or star for each one completed.</p><p>3. Accountability</p><p>4. Reward yourself for progress.</p><p>5. Give yourself a break. Avoid burnout.</p><p><br /></p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-58204756402128864362023-11-25T07:41:00.004-06:002023-11-25T07:58:09.072-06:00Living Your Highest Values - John Demartini and then some<p> Any time you try to project your values onto others, and expect them to live according to your highest values, you're going to experience the ABCDEFGH's of negativity:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Anger and Agression</li><li>Feel Betrayed and Blame</li><li>Criticize and Challenge</li><li>Despair and Depressionrai</li><li>Desire to Exit and Escape the relationship</li><li>Futility and Frustration</li><li>Grouchiness and Grief </li><li>Hatred and Hurt</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><b>Values Determination Questions (from The Values Factor on Audible)</b></div><div><br /></div><div>????</div><div><br /></div><div><b>********************************************************************************</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>You get paid based upon the value you value yourself. </div><div><br /></div><div>Raise your value, raise your money.</div><div>Raise your value, raise your health.</div><div>Raise your value, raise your relationships.</div><div><br /></div><div>How would your life be different if you highly valued yourself?</div><div><br /></div><div>You treat yourself as you perceive yourself. </div><div><br /></div><div>Whatever kind of person you think you are:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. That's how you show up in the world.</div><div>2. That is the kind of person you attract. We attract confirming identities.</div><div><br /></div><p></p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-31480966725374378092023-11-25T07:41:00.001-06:002023-11-25T07:41:29.418-06:00Healthier Eating PlansBreakfasts:
Green Smoothie
Low Carb Blueberry Smoothie
Low Carb Oatmeal
Low Carb Coconut Cream with Berries
Keto pancakes with berries and whipped cream
Lunch/Dinner
Salad with zucchini and walnut
Salad in a jar
<a href="https://www.dietdocto<a href="" target="_blank"></a>r.com/recipes/low-carb-eggplant-pizza">Low Carb Eggplant Pizza</a>
Keto Quesadillas (use low-carb tortillas, baby spinach and Mexican cheese or any hard cheese)
<a href="https://www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/easy-protein-noodle-low-carb-lasagna" target="_blank">Easy Protein Noodle Low Carb Lasagna</a>
<a href="https://www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/jills-cheese-crusted-keto-omelet" target="_blank">Jill's Cheese-Crusted Keto Omelet</a>
Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-40144332664716696002023-04-16T01:36:00.001-05:002023-04-16T01:36:02.715-05:00Grieving<div>My note to Laura Gonzales, months after the loss of her mother:</div><div><br></div><div>Sweetheart, what would your mama want for you now? Grief is necessary, but I imagine your mama is looking down from heaven hoping you find some joy in living. </div><div><br></div><div>You two are clearly soul mates (soul mates aren't always romantic partnerships), but when you love that deeply, there's never any real separation. I pray you find some way to enjoy life until the two of you meet again. It would be such a great way to honor your loving mama. </div><div><br></div><div>That love that you experienced and directed toward your mama is God within you. He's still there, waiting to express His love through you again. </div><div><br></div><div>Don't rush through grieving. It takes the time it takes. But grief is something to go THROUGH, like any dark passage in life. Please don't get stuck there. Let yourself live while Life is in you. </div>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-74331998400098714252022-12-24T08:30:00.002-06:002023-04-13T08:17:56.036-05:00Wealth is Well-Being, as Well as ProsperityWealth isn't a number. It's a ratio. - Croix Sather
Abundance isn't something we acquire. It's something we tune in to. - Wayne DyerCathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-8774894957392525302022-12-24T07:16:00.002-06:002022-12-24T07:16:21.350-06:00Safety and Security Tips<p> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, HelveticaNeue, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: -0.32px; white-space: pre-wrap;">BEWARE OF SELF CHECKOUT SCAM!</span></p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, HelveticaNeue, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: -0.32px; white-space: pre-wrap;">A friend was shopping at Walmart at 2978 and Woodlands Parkway this morning. She checked out at the self check out and realized her items came up to more than they should be. She went ahead and paid but checked her receipt before leaving and noticed there was an even $20 unknown charge plus a $4.94 charge for a “visa.” She went to customer service and they told her that it is a new scam happening. People are getting prepaid cards, scanning them and then putting in an amount that they want “to add” to it. They don’t complete the transaction and walk off with the card leaving the transaction open until someone comes up and starts scanning their items without realizing there was an open transaction. The person pays and then the money is loaded onto the card that they have. Luckily they watched the cameras and caught the guy because he was still hanging around in the store, I guess waiting for the money to load so he could shop 🤦🏻♀️ Please be aware at any store that you use self checkout at! Double check the screen before you start scanning!
Adding 3 tips -
1) Always hit “Cancel” twice after you are finished with your Transaction, whether at a checkout or the gas pump.
2) Ladies - PLEASE “Seatbelt” your purses in the shopping carts & make sure they’re closed. Better yet, don't bring it in with you. Just lock it up in your trunk. All it takes is a minute for someone to walk by your cart & snatch your purse, billfold or phone.
3) Lock you car door as soon as you get in the vehicle and don't place your purse on the passenger's seat. They open your door and steal it before you even know what's happening.
</span><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, HelveticaNeue, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: -0.32px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, HelveticaNeue, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Roboto, Segoe UI, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: -0.32px; white-space: pre-wrap;">- Mary Therese Smith, Nextdoor</span></span></div>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-83264535646598253342022-12-06T21:36:00.000-06:002022-12-06T21:36:05.225-06:00In Reponse to Week 5 of Ultimate Self Mastery by Peter Sage - Passion and Purpose<p> I received some real gems this week. Unhooking my self-worth from my net worth is a powerful paradigm shift. It's something I know on a cognitive level, but it hasn't quite taken hold on an experiential level.</p><p><br /></p><p>Another thing that I found truly helpful was the statement that has been repeated throughout the course so far, "You were born good enough." I've been a bit triggered by statements that suggest that our bank accounts are a reflection of the value we add. The way I see it, we make many contributions to the world that are not reflected in our bank account. These contributions are not and should not, in my view, be monetized. What is the value of lending a listening ear, a kind word, a warm hug or even a smile? These are priceless contributions and can literally save lives or at the very least, encourage and uplift hearts. If this is how I wish to spend my life, do I have to make the decision to monetize it or not thrive financially? That doesn't make sense to me.</p><p><br /></p><p>What I took from being born good enough is that we add value simply by being when we are being our true selves. Our true selves are a contribution. Whatever gifts, talents or propensities are inherent in our being are our opportunities to be a blessing to the world, to make a difference in people's lives, to minister love and grace to others. Whatever we contribute to others, or even when we enrich our personal lives, we are contributing to the whole. That is worthy of divine compensation.</p><p><br /></p><p>It feels purest to me when we contribute without expectation of return. I call this natural economy. It's like a fruit tree. It produces fruit and then just gives it away. It is not even concerned whether there is a receiver. It doesn't care if anyone comes to eat the fruit. It simply does what it is. Any fruit that is not eaten falls to the ground and nourishes the soil, which then fertilizes the tree and the cycle continues. This is my dream for the world. Everyone giving what they are and everyone receiving what they need. Do not confuse what I am saying with any kind of government administered share the wealth program. Freedom is an extremely high value of mine, and forced sharing is not sharing at all. It is theft.</p><p><br /></p><p>Something else I've noticed across the years is that many givers have trouble receiving. This blocks the flow of prosperity just as much as withholding contribution because it fosters a break in what should be a cycle. </p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-77545868382459487602022-09-14T14:55:00.008-05:002022-12-06T21:23:25.431-06:00Marriage/Relationship Blessing I Wrote in 2012<p>May you enjoy one another whenever you are together. </p><p>May you know one another anew each day.</p><p>May you cultivate the love between you as you would a cherished garden.</p><p>May you expect nothing and appreciate every act of love and service as a gift. </p><p>May you surprise and delight one another always.</p><p>May your harmony and your laughter resound throughout the universe.</p><p>May your love illumine all.</p><p><br /></p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-78210635697739042402022-01-08T12:42:00.000-06:002022-01-08T12:42:37.585-06:00Why Are We So Addicted to Gaming?<p> I should be sleeping. I have to work tonight. I'm staving off a cold.</p><p>But instead, I find myself playing games. What is the value I am getting from playing these games that don't add anything real or lasting to my life? I think it's the feeling of accomplishment...succeeding at something.</p><p>In caregiving, I often feel I'm failing. I have difficulty preparing food that the parents enjoy. I have difficulty caring for them and maintaining a full time job. I have difficulty succeeding financially and taking care of my and their finances. </p><p>But with gaming, I can get an instant feeling of accomplishment, success that seems to elude me in life. I would love to have that sense of accomplishment in my day-to-day life. </p><p>Right now, I'm letting go of the toxic thoughts that tell me I'm not enough. I'm not doing enough. I'm not good enough. They are lies. I'm doing the best I can. I'm giving all I can. I will be able to do more in the future. I am building the resourcefulness that has been diminished in the process of six years of working full time and caring for my parents. I have felt drained. I now choose to be filled to overflowing.</p><p>I'm taking Dr. Demartini's values determination assessment so that I can ensure I am living according to my highest values. This is the secret to living from inspiration, which is renewed by acting from inspiration, rather than motivation, which is fleeting.</p><p><br /></p>Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-26697130004376733632017-03-10T20:47:00.000-06:002017-03-10T20:47:00.612-06:00Are My Psychic Skills Kicking Up a Notch?I just had an interesting experience. For a brief second while on Facebook, I saw an expression of thanks from a friend. Then it disappeared. I asked her. She hadn't posted it, but she was thinking it.<br />
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Now, I've heard of people reading other people's thoughts, but not on Facebook when they hadn't been posted. *rubs chin thoughtfully*Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-16031858789917570712017-02-28T18:27:00.001-06:002017-02-28T18:27:08.459-06:00Misheard LyricsLooking back at some of the lingo of the hippie revolution, I feel sure that much of what has come to be criticized was actually misconstrued, both by most of the revolutionaries and by the culture they were trying to change. I was just a baby during those times, but I remember thinking as I grew up that "free love" and "do what comes naturally" and "if it feels good, do it" were just insane ways to get yourself into a lot more trouble than you know what to do with. And they are, if you are unaware of the truths those words represent.
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Think about "free love" for a moment. I don't believe the original intent of that concept was "free sex" or privilege without responsibility. I think what it was really meant to promote was nonattachment. When we love truly and unconditionally, we will not demand love in return. There will truly be "no strings attached" in our loving. This doesn't mean that we can't form a relationship for life, only that we will allow the relationship to be dynamic, holding the loved one with an open hand, and not demanding that the person conform to what we want, but allowing and encouraging them to be themselves. Tall order for mere humans, but it has been done and therefore can be done by us.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-23444885267840036402016-11-10T23:20:00.002-06:002016-11-10T23:20:57.756-06:00Grrrr...AttitudeI've been uncharacteristically bitchy several times lately. I think perhaps I've been picking up on the angst around the election.<br />
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I may have also been channeling my sister, Debbie, who never had a problem saying what she thought, or perhaps my friend, Lisa, who still doesn't. I suppose that where my sister is, she doesn't, either.<br />
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In any case, I'm usually the one who stays quiet and listens, which I generally believe is an excellent strategy. But a couple times lately, I've felt the need to speak up, and I did. In each case, I did minimal ruminating, which is also unusual for me. I usually go over and over what I've said to determine whether an apology is due. This time, I said my piece and I spoke it in a spirit of peace, and let it go. Yay, me!<br />
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The main reason I decided to write this post, though, is that I picked up on a practice written about by Pam Grout in her book, Thank and Grow Rich, and shared with me by my good friend, <a href="https://www.patreon.com/rasheedhooda" target="_blank">Rasheed Hooda</a>. Rasheed wrote about it on Patreon, where he is sharing his discoveries and photos on his epic walk from Chicago, IL to California via Route 66. Hop on over there and give it a read, and consider supporting him if you feel so led. It's been quite an interesting journey so far, and evidence that America is far from what is portrayed on the news media, and is still a warm and welcoming place.<br />
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Okay, so back to the practice: Pam recommends saying every morning, "Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today". Then watch for all the ways that shows up for you, and write down three.<br /><br />The first day I said it, I didn't notice much. But the second day, BAM!<br /><br />For starters, Hillary Clinton did not win the election. Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't exactly FOR Donald Trump. But I definitely wanted to leave Obamacare behind. I didn't want to be a criminal for not participating in something that was not generative for me, and that doesn't gel with my beliefs. In my opinion, the big winners in Obamacare were the insurance companies. People who didn't qualify for subsidies were paying huge premiums for insurance with such high deductibles that they couldn't even benefit from it unless they experienced a catastrophic health crisis. Now, folks, in my view, that's not a win-win. I'm a firm believer in Steven Covey's stated principle "Win-Win or No Deal".<br />
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So, while the election was happening, I kept asking the questions, What would it take for me to be free? What would it take for us to be free? What would it take for us to be free from Obamacare?<br />
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I get that people need help. I also get that insurance companies and "health-care" companies need to be less greedy. I also get that there's more to it than that.<br />
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In any case, if they can find a way for us to help people out with their health care needs that doesn't impoverish some to benefit others, I'm open to that.<br />
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The reason I put health care in parenthesis is that I don't feel that the pharmaceutical companies and administrators of hospitals, as well as many "health care" professionals actually support health. They care for symptoms, instead, because that's where their money comes from. If people get healthy, the industry will mostly collapse.<br /><br />Okay, but back to my amazingly awesome day. It was two o'clock in the morning before the election was called. I couldn't sleep until I saw the results. But I went to sleep feeling hopeful. At least, once Obamacare is repealed, I can file my taxes without worrying about being stolen from by my own government. Well, technically, taxing is theft, if you didn't agree to it, but that's another post.<br />
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So, that was number one. But the good stuff didn't stop there. I also had a lunch meeting and my lunch was paid for. I had a tickle in my throat while at the restaurant, and a sweet lady just happened to have a cough drop handy. Later, I went outside in our yard to commune with nature, and a red fox ran across our yard. I went to my friend Lisa's for our weekly A Course in Miracles meetup and enjoyed sharing a delicious meal with some awesome people. And I caught an excellent Facebook Live post by Dain Heer, reminding us to ask questions, rather than coming to conclusions about what a Trump presidency means.<br />
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We are the change we wish to see in the world. We can't give that responsibility to a government without also giving away our power. We've all probably given away our power at some point, but now is the time to take back our power and do what no one else can do for us. Be the change we wish to see in the world.<br />
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We are the saviors we have been waiting for.<br />
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<br />Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-16055202609468702982016-11-10T22:50:00.000-06:002016-11-10T22:50:37.636-06:00Just AskWondering can be fun. You may find yourself wondering at some point whether someone you already know and love could be more than a friend. But do you know what could be more informative than wondering? Asking! Wow, what a concept!<br />
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Really, though, if you think there is a chance that the two of you could share something really amazing, don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to find out. Ask.<br />
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And be willing to accept the answer graciously, whether it's "Yes" or "No". It's just a question of whether this person wants to date you, not a question of your worthiness.<br />
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We tend to put way too much weight on the answer, which is why we fear to ask the question. A "No" to dating is not a rejection, or a judgment. It is merely information. An honest "No" beats a dishonest or ambivalent "Yes" any day.<br />
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There is always the possibility that you will receive an enthusiastic "Yes!". If that is the case, do yourselves a favor and let dating be an exploration. Be ready to be okay with it if the two of you find that you prefer friendship to couplehood. Friendship is not a downgrade from couplehood. We still get to enjoy love and affection as friends, and many of the other things that we can share as lovers. Think about how many of the activities we want to share with a lover that we can also share with friends. There are quite a number of them.<br />
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And there's always the possibility that the two of you will share big love. And if so, you're way ahead of the game, since you already like and enjoy one another. Just remember that loving feelings are created and sustained by loving behaviors.<br />
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Just take a risk. Don't let yourself wonder for the rest of your life, What if I had?<br />
<br />Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-90562076458329135162016-11-10T22:49:00.003-06:002016-11-10T22:49:58.596-06:00In My Absence [And In My Present(s)]It's been about a year-and-a-half since I published anything here.<br />
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During that time, I went from footloose and fancy free to caring for my mother while still working full time. It's been a wild ride, and there were times when I felt like the bull was going to throw me and stomp me into the ground.<br />
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Yet, here I am, still caring for my mother, but fortunately getting bits of my life back, as she is getting stronger. She will probably always need help, but she needs much less help today than she did six months ago.<br />
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Caregiving can feel like two people living one life, and until you've done it, you're not likely to get what that means. When someone can't meet their needs on their own and require help with everything from getting to the bathroom to getting meals and medications and everything in between, it can be very difficult to meet their needs and still have any time or energy left for your own.<br />
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There is something that helped for me, and it's helped me through other difficult situations, as well. It's the simple practice of asking questions.<br />
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In Access Consciousness, I learned to ask questions that I think of as prayers. Rather than looking for answers, we allow them.<br />
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The main questions I used to shift four very difficult situations for me in 2014, including getting out of debt with my ex, receiving a car when I wasn't in a position to purchase one and finding a place to live that was perfect for me follow:<br />
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How does it get any better than this?<br />
What else is possible?<br />
How could this turn out even better than I could imagine or plan?<br />
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This year, those questions have opened up my life when it felt like things could not improve, and I felt stuck. I wish I had remembered to ask them before I got to that point. But hey, there's a reason we call it practice.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-39954412927255053582015-03-31T21:47:00.004-05:002017-02-28T17:07:46.307-06:00Instant Relationship - Just Add Water!When I was younger, I believed it was all about the passion. Like many, I was addicted to the neurochemical high of falling in love. <br />
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Now, I have been deceived by passion enough times to know that it is not the wisest voice on the council. Not that it doesn't deserve to be heard, it just does not merit a position of leadership. <br />
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For starters, passion is our limbic brain doing its level best to urge us to propagate the species, as if the survival of the human race depended on it. Well, we know that is not true. <br />
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Passion can also convince us that we absolutely must have someone in our lives who could actually make a miserable partner for us. It doesn't consider things like lifestyle differences or availability or whether we want the same things in a relationship. It just wants us to merge with as many different partners as possible, and specifically, with the one who is turning us on in this moment. <br />
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If we listen primarily to passion, we will experience a lot of those juicy beginnings, but also a lot of endings. It's fine if you want to go that route, but that's not for me. <br />
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Why not take the time to get to know whether you can enjoy one another's company without sex or passion skewing the data? If one person is moving 65 mph and the other is moving 45 mph, even if you're moving in the same direction, the result will be distance. If the faster-moving partner slows down to accommodate the slower-moving one, it will give the slower partner a chance to build momentum, and the two may eventually find a pace they can happily maintain together.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-74618839306346773702012-01-29T18:34:00.001-06:002012-01-29T18:42:58.649-06:00The Choice PointI can remember a time when it didn't seem like I would EVER become aware of the choice point, that moment in which we can see the ways in which we sabotage our own happiness BEFORE we take that path. People told me that I could. I wanted to believe I could. But it didn't seem that I could.
Conditioning runs so deep that it takes practice and stumbling and practicing more to change a pattern.
Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible.
But it is.
If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for everyone. You are not the exception.
It only appears to be distant. That's a perceptual illusion.
Believe in yourself and your process.
And if you can't find any belief of your own, you can borrow mine until you do.
I believe in you! You can do it!Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-22669753728619752842012-01-28T19:32:00.001-06:002012-01-28T19:32:58.915-06:00Pride or Preciousness?What is the difference between bragging on ourselves and realizing our magnificence?
I believe it comes down to ego. Bragging on ourselves is usually a cover-up for feeling a lack of worth.
Realizing our magnificence does not involve ego. It feels good, but there is nothing to be proud of.
We just are what we are, and it is magnificent. :)Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-83583837968193922962012-01-27T13:05:00.001-06:002015-03-31T21:57:51.333-05:00How Ridiculous is This?As I was wondering why it seems so difficult for some of us to find a soul mate, it hit me that perhaps we are setting our sights too low. This desire may not be big enough for our souls. <br />
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The soul's desire is for expansion. Perhaps it is difficult to go deep with more than one person, but it is also true that we cannot confine a heart without shutting it down. <br />
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It feels like we have outgrown the paradigm of loving only one person. It serves us to begin exploring what we are growing into. I still get the pair-bonding thing, but how much of it is genuine and how much is left-over conditioning? I envision us evolving to the place where our hearts are open to truly love everyone, even if we choose to go deep with only one person at a time. <br />
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After all, the hippies were right about free love. Love should never be a prison. It's just that what they were practicing often wasn't love. In too many instances, people were using one another's bodies as sex toys. Unconsciousness is what kept evolution in check at that time. But today, more of us are more awake than ever. <br />
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In order to go deep in intimacy, it is necessary to give time and attention to the living thing that is the love between two people. But perhaps we'll grow richer in attention as we realize our freedom. As long as people are pair-bonding though, my heart would love to see more people doing so consciously, realizing the love between them is a living thing and will only thrive with loving attention. <br />
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Let's do this!Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-20534345263656599032011-07-30T15:51:00.000-05:002017-02-28T17:13:23.406-06:00Aha! MomentI had a breakthrough last night when I asked myself why I find it so difficult to surrender in sex. The answer came clearly and immediately, "Because I don't want someone doing things <i>to </i>my body without my permission or against my will.<br />
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This is quite understandable, in view of my childhood experiences.<br />
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But unconsciousness is the usual route people take in sex, approaching it without awareness of any effect we may be having on the other beyond physical response; treating sex as a purely physical act, rather than an interaction with another soul and psyche through the medium of our bodies; usually entirely ignorant and unaware that sex can be a portal to the infinite, rather than merely a physical experience.<br />
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As I said in the previous post, when we use touch to ask for what we want, rather than checking in with the other to make sure they want the same thing, we leave them with basically two choices if they don't want the same thing or if they are not ready: go along with something they really don't want (ewwww) or turn us down, which usually ends up feeling like rejection.<br />
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A sexual connection can be a beautiful thing, but only if it honors the whole person, and the fact that we are touching and merging with a whole person, not just another body. <br />
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Might it serve you both better to be conscious and sensitive and willing to move slowly enough to allow each other the time and freedom to feel into your own responses and the space to know what you really want?<br />
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We can move forward together only when we honor one another's pace.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-15240380082350711402011-07-04T18:53:00.001-05:002017-02-28T17:16:01.577-06:00Love in the Key of AwarenessI am convinced that moving into sexual activity without first engaging the heart and soul of oneself and one’s partner is a recipe for shutting down hearts and relationships.<br />
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We can connect with a person’s erogenous zones and arouse desire in a body, but if the heart and soul are not aligned with the body’s desire, what may feel intensely pleasurable to the body may feel unpleasant or even disturbing emotionally.<br />
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This conflict, if not explored, may then cause a person to shut down and become guarded to any future activity that may cause the undesirable feelings to recur.<br />
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Charging ahead with sexual activity without communicating one’s intentions or discovering what the other wants or if they even wish to participate may be the way it’s done in movies, but where has such behavior gotten us in real life? Shut down, by and large. <br />
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It seems to me that many people can only connect through their bodies because their hearts are walled away. This incomplete connection is not deeply satisfying and perpetuates the search for love because we cannot feel it in these circumstances, even though it is always present.<br />
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We may begin healing this rift by understanding that another can feel the intent of our touch. Touch that is designed to arouse because we want to “get some” feels predatory. It is “take” energy. Touch that is intended to comfort or to communicate love transmits “give” energy.<br />
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There are also disparate vibrations inherent in different forms of attraction. One form of attraction activates need and greed, as revealed in statements such as, “He’s so hot!” and “I’d like to tap that.” This attraction wants to get something from another, based on a feeling that getting that something will fill some deep-seated need or desire.<br />
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Another kind of attraction may include sexual desire, but it is primarily based in the heart. It is replete with the energy of giving. It seeks to share and to craft partnerships.<br />
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There is nothing “wrong” with either energy, but if two people are not on the same page energetically, and yet try to move forward without exploring and understanding this, the resulting missed connections may engender fear and defensiveness around future attempts at connecting.<br />
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A couple of likely outcomes of moving toward sexual activity without a match of energy and intention between parties:<br />
The other may go along with the activity to avoid your displeasure. They may “let” you use their body. I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds this disgusting.<br />
The other may pull away or refuse the connection, usually resulting in one or both parties feeling hurt or shutting down emotionally, because we think the refusal is all about us.<br />
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What’s wrong with asking, “Do you want to make love?” And what’s wrong with saying, “No”, if “No” is what we feel? Would any of us really want another to say, “Yes”, when they feel “No”? Really?<br />
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And if another says, “No”, and it triggers our fears of rejection or our feelings of being unwanted, this gives us the opportunity to grow, the opportunity to explore with the other or alone, and to discover the barriers to love that we have created within our hearts, and tear them down, if we wish to open ourselves to experience more love.<br />
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Can we find the courage to ask another, “Is it that you don’t want to make love with me, or is there some other reason?” Can we find the strength to ask ourselves, “Does the other’s refusal say anything about me, or does it simply make a statement about the other’s wishes?”<br />
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Can we find the emotional maturity to use every opportunity to open our hearts, even in the face of fear and vulnerability, and rather than shutting down to protect ourselves, let go of the belief that another has the power to harm us?<br />
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Can we evolve to live in continual awareness of love?<br />
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I believe that we can, and that we will, and that we are doing so now.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-88862748243378179622010-07-08T09:57:00.000-05:002015-02-09T19:05:32.226-06:00Let's Grow Up In LoveLove is always within us and all around us, but there is a science to relationship. I'm not just talking about the chemicals of attraction. I'm talking cause and effect.<br />
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Typically, we meet someone. We put on a show for one another. If we like what we see, we become aware of feeling love. But where does that love come from? It's already there, within us.<br />
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Then, we start seeing things in the other that we judge undesirable. Our awareness of love starts to be covered over by those judgments. If we don't observe this and drop our judgments, soon we will feel we have fallen out of love. We didn't fall out of love, because we didn't fall into love in the first place. <i>We awakened to awareness of the love that is within us.</i><br />
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Now, some will read this and think that I mean that all relationships can and should be saved. No, I don't mean that at all. Some relationships are toxic to your soul, and should be grieved and buried, so that we can open to something that supports our growth, expansion and healing.<br />
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Nevertheless, we can end a relationship without anger, without bitterness, without any of the other forms of anger we usually think must be present to conclude a relationship. You can even end a relationship with love. Just because being in a relationship with someone is not for your highest good doesn't mean you can't wish them well and mean it.<br />
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Think about this, if a relationship is not really good for you, it's not really good for anyone. Would you want someone to stay with you for any reason other than it's exactly where they want to be? Really? I know I wouldn't.<br />
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Let's grow up and let the way we conduct our relationships reflect our growth.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-28381897246210193712010-07-07T17:10:00.000-05:002015-02-09T19:12:20.065-06:00Evolving RelationshipsThe only place love can be felt is within our own heart. When we require something of someone else in order to feel our love, we make love conditional and cheat our own selves out of the glorious and wondrous awareness of love. Well, when I say we make love conditional, is it even really love at that point? I don't think so.<br />
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Relationship is another story. To enjoy a relationship, there has to be some degree of consensus on what we will share. It's healthy and reasonable to have conditions on a relationship, especially conditions that keep us true to who we really are.<br />
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It's not really love that gets us into trouble. It is wanting to share more or to share different things than the other. We can't share more with someone than they are willing to receive. And we can't give them anything they won't accept. Growing up calls us to stop trying to give things to people who don't want them.<br />
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I don't believe love ever dies or fails. Our awareness of love may become buried beneath all manner of pain and misunderstanding, but love is always there, within us, waiting for us to uncover it and notice.<br />
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Relationships, however, may fail or end, and sometimes our very growth, health or sanity depends on them doing so. <br />
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If our relationships are to evolve, we may need to stop looking for models in the past (and especially from the media). How many relationship models have we observed that are truly bringing joy to us or anyone else for that matter? It's time to create new models that are more conducive to who we are growing to be - models that honor who we really are and what we really want, not what someone has told us we are supposed to want.<br />
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Let's find our truth and live that.<br />
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Until we do, we're better off being alone. Being alone isn't the worst thing that can happen to us. Being in a relationship that does not honor all of who we are: much, much more painful.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-1781362104822360452010-07-07T16:20:00.000-05:002010-07-07T16:20:34.557-05:00Evolve or DieDisease is rampant, and yet few of us are willing to see that we are slowly killing ourselves. I'm not even talking about processed food, pollution, etc. I'm talking about living a life we despise...jobs we hate, relationships that are toxic, and so on.<br />
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Most people would rather believe that's just the way it is and there's nothing we can do about it. It's easier than admitting that there are things we can do about it, but we are afraid if we do those things people won't like us anymore. <br />
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I've been there, and this is what I have to say about that: if anyone really cares about us, they want what's best for us, and if they don't, why the hell are we trying to please them, anyway?<br />
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Or we are afraid that we'll try something and it won't work. Well, how well is what we are doing now working for us? It's destroying us. Hello!<br />
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Some of us know that we have really come down to "Evolve or die". The old ways are killing us. Are we going to continue in the old ways which are draining the life force from us, or will we take the steps necessary to truly begin living?Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32296904.post-63405364623360805492010-02-07T10:13:00.000-06:002010-02-07T10:13:25.464-06:00Don't Go Breaking My HeartI wept last night. I cried like a baby. I wept for all the times I have broken my heart, and for the realization that I am the only one who has ever broken my heart. I can't control what anyone else does, but I can choose my thoughts about it, and thus my feelings about it.<br />
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I wept for the walls I built around my heart that only served to block pain <i>in </i>and block love <i>out</i>.<br />
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I wept for your broken heart, too. <br />
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And to all upon whom I have projected blame for my broken heart, I take it back. I claim it. I own it. It is mine. Mine to deal, mine to heal. You are free.Cathy Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09495792508097475086noreply@blogger.com3