Cultivating a Succulent Life

Making Light of Sex

2012-01-30T16:43:00.002-06:00

I am a wee bit weary of all the Lightworkers who seem to imply that sexual energy is a low vibrational energy.It's a very sad state of affairs when we relegate such an important part of us, that can be a vehicle of enlightenment, to the darkness. That, I believe, is the source of perversion and it's the resistance to a vital aspect of our being, not sex itself, that is a low vibration. Of course, so is using people.Bringing sex into the light is the best thing we can do for our sexual health and consciousness. I mean, come on, we're not likely to stop having it or thinking about it. It is vital energy and vital to our well-being. Why make it ugly?

The Choice Point

2012-01-29T18:34:00.001-06:00

I can remember a time when it didn't seem like I would EVER become aware of the choice point, that moment in which we can see the ways in which we sabotage our own happiness BEFORE we take that path. People told me that I could. I wanted to believe I could. But it didn't seem that I could.Conditioning runs so deep that it takes practice and stumbling and practicing more to change a pattern.Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible. But it is.If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for everyone. You are not the exception.It only appears to be distant. That's a perceptual illusion.Believe in yourself and your process.And if you can't find any belief of your own, you can borrow mine until you do.I believe in you! You can do it!

Pride or Preciousness?

2012-01-28T19:32:00.001-06:00

What is the difference between bragging on ourselves and realizing our magnificence?I believe it comes down to ego. Bragging on ourselves is usually a cover-up for feeling a lack of worth.Realizing our magnificence does not involve ego. It feels good, but there is nothing to be proud of. We just are what we are, and it is magnificent. :)

How Ridiculous is This?

2012-01-27T13:05:00.001-06:00

As I was wondering why it seems so difficult for some of us to find a soul mate, it hit me that perhaps we are setting our sights too low. This desire may not be big enough for our souls.The soul's desire is for expansion. Perhaps it is difficult to go deep with more than one person, but it is also true that we cannot confine a heart without shutting it down. It feels like we have outgrown the paradigm of loving only one person. It serves us to begin exploring what we are growing into.I still get the pair-bonding thing, but how much of it is genuine and how much is left-over conditioning?I envision us evolving to the place where our hearts are open to truly love everyone, even if we choose to go deep with only one person at a time. After all, the hippies were right about free love. Love should never be a prison. It's just that what they were practicing often wasn't love. In too many instances, people were using one another's bodies as sex toys. Unconsciousness is what kept evolution in check at that time. But today, more of us are more awake than ever.In order to go deep in intimacy, it is necessary to give time and attention to the living thing that is the love between two people. But perhaps we'll grow richer in attention as we realize our freedom.As long as people are pair-bonding though, my heart would love to see more people doing so consciously, realizing the love between them is a living thing and will only thrive with loving attention.Let's do this!

Aha! Moment

2011-07-30T15:51:00.000-05:00

I had a breakthrough last night when I asked myself why I find it so difficult to surrender in sex. The answer came clearly and immediately, "Because I don't want someone doing things to my body without my permission or against my will.

This is quite understandable, in view of my childhood experiences.

But unconsciousness is the usual route people take in sex, approaching it without awareness of any effect we may be having on the other beyond physical response; treating sex as a purely physical act, rather than an interaction with another soul and psyche through the medium of our bodies; usually entirely ignorant and unaware that sex can be a portal to the infinite, rather than merely a physical experience.

As I said in the previous post, when we use touch to ask for what we want, rather than checking in with the other to make sure they want the same thing, we leave them with basically two choices if they don't want the same thing or if they are not ready: go along with something they really don't want (ewwww) or turn us down, which usually ends up feeling like rejection.

A sexual connection can be a beautiful thing, but only if it honors the whole person, and the fact that we are touching and merging with a whole person, not just another body.

And so, He will have to be conscious and sensitive and willing to move slowly enough to allow me the time and freedom to feel into my own responses and the space to know what I really want. And I will gladly do the same for Him.

We can move forward together only when we honor one another's pace.

Love in the Key of Awareness

2011-07-04T18:53:00.001-05:00

I am convinced that moving into sexual activity without first engaging the heart and soul of oneself and one’s partner is a recipe for shutting down hearts and relationships.

We can connect with a person’s erogenous zones and arouse desire in a body, but if the heart and soul are not aligned with the body’s desire, what may feel intensely pleasurable to the body may feel unpleasant or even disturbing emotionally.

This conflict, if not explored, may then cause a person to shut down and become guarded to any future activity that may cause the undesirable feelings to recur.

Charging ahead with sexual activity without communicating one’s intentions or discovering what the other wants or if they even wish to participate may be the way it’s done in movies, but where has such behavior gotten us in real life? Shut down, by and large.

It seems to me that many people can only connect through their bodies because their hearts are walled away. This incomplete connection is not deeply satisfying and perpetuates the search for love because we cannot feel it in these circumstances, even though it is always present.

We may begin healing this rift by understanding that another can feel the intent of our touch. Touch that is designed to arouse because we want to “get some” feels predatory. It is “take” energy. Touch that is intended to comfort or to communicate love transmits “give” energy.

There are also disparate vibrations inherent in different forms of attraction. One form of attraction activates need and greed, as revealed in statements such as, “He’s so hot!” and “I’d like to tap that.” This attraction wants to get something from another, based on a feeling that getting that something will fill some deep-seeded need or desire.

Another kind of attraction may include sexual desire, but it is primarily based in the heart. It is replete with the energy of giving. It seeks to share and to craft partnerships.

There is nothing “wrong” with either energy, but if two people are not on the same page energetically, and yet try to move forward without exploring and understanding this, the resulting missed connections may engender fear and defensiveness around future attempts at connecting.

A couple of likely outcomes of moving toward sexual activity without a match of energy and intention between parties:
The other may go along with the activity to avoid your displeasure. They may “let” you use their body. I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds this disgusting.
The other may pull away or refuse the connection, usually resulting in one or both parties feeling hurt or shutting down emotionally, because we think the refusal is all about us.

What’s wrong with asking, “Do you want to make love?” And what’s wrong with saying, “No”, if “No” is what we feel? Would any of us really want another to say, “Yes”, when they feel “No”? Really?

And if another says, “No”, and it triggers our fears of rejection or our feelings of being unwanted, this gives us the opportunity to grow, the opportunity to explore with the other or alone, and to discover the barriers to love that we have created within our hearts, and tear them down, if we wish to open ourselves to experience more love.

Can we find the courage to ask another, “Is it that you don’t want to make love with me, or is there some other reason?” Can we find the strength to ask ourselves, “Does the other’s refusal say anything about me, or does it simply make a statement about the other’s wishes?”

Can we find the emotional maturity to use every opportunity to open our hearts, even in the face of fear and vulnerability, and rather than shutting down to protect ourselves, let go of the belief that another has the power to harm us?

Can we evolve to live in continual awareness of love?

I believe that we can, and that we will, and that we are doing so now.

Let's Grow Up In Love

2010-07-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

Love is always within us and all around us, but there is a science to relationship. I'm not just talking about the chemicals of attraction. I'm talking cause and effect.

Typically, we meet someone. We put on a show for one another. If we like what we see, we become aware of feeling love. But where does that love come from? It's already there, within us.

Then, we start seeing things in the other that we judge undesirable. Our awareness of love starts to be covered over by those judgments. If we don't observe this and drop our judgments, soon we will feel we have fallen out of love. We didn't fall out of love, because we didn't fall into love in the first place. We awakened to awareness of the love that is within us.

Now, some will read this and think that I mean that all relationships can and should be saved. No, I don't mean that at all. Some relationships are toxic to your soul, and should be grieved and buried, so that we can open to something that supports our growth, expansion and healing.

Nevertheless, we can end a relationship without anger, without bitterness, without any of the other forms of anger we usually think must be present to conclude a relationship. You can even end a relationship with love. Just because being in a relationship with someone is not for your highest good doesn't mean you can't wish them well and mean it.

Think about this, if a relationship is not really good for you, it's not really good for anyone. Would you want someone to stay with you for any reason other than it's exactly where they want to be? Really? I know I wouldn't.

Let's grow up and let the way we conduct our relationships reflect our growth.

Evolving Relationships

2010-07-07T17:10:00.000-05:00

The only place love can be felt is within our own heart. When we require something of someone else in order to feel our love, we make love conditional and cheat our own selves out of the glorious and wondrous awareness of love. Well, when I say we make love conditional, is it even really love at that point? I don't think so.

Relationship is another story. To enjoy a relationship, there has to be some degree of consensus on what we will share. It's healthy and reasonable to have conditions on a relationship, especially conditions that keep us true to who we really are.

It's not really love that gets us into trouble. It is wanting to share more or to share different things than the other. We can't share more with someone than they are willing to receive. And we can't give them anything they won't accept. Growing up calls us to stop trying to give things to people who don't want them.

I don't believe love ever dies or fails. Our awareness of love may become buried beneath all manner of pain and misunderstanding, but love is always there, within us, waiting for us to uncover it and notice.

Relationships, however, may fail or end, and sometimes our very growth, health or sanity depends on them doing so.

If our relationships are to evolve, we may need to stop looking for models in the past (and especially from the media). How many relationship models have we observed that are truly bringing joy to us or anyone else for that matter? It's time to create new models that are more conducive with who we are growing to be - models that honor who we really are and what we really want, not what someone has told us we are supposed to want.

Let's find our truth and live that.

Until we do, we're better off being alone. Being alone isn't the worst thing that can happen to us. Being in a relationship that does not honor all of who we are: much, much more painful.

Evolve or Die

2010-07-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

Disease is rampant, and yet few of us are willing to see that we are slowly killing ourselves. I'm not even talking about processed food, pollution, etc. I'm talking about living a life we despise...jobs we hate, relationships that are toxic, and so on.

Most people would rather believe that's just the way it is and there's nothing we can do about it. It's easier than admitting that there are things we can do about it, but we are afraid if we do those things people won't like us anymore.

I've been there, and this is what I have to say about that: if anyone really cares about us, they want what's best for us, and if they don't, why the hell are we trying to please them, anyway?

Or we are afraid that we'll try something and it won't work. Well, how well is what we are doing now working for us? It's destroying us. Hello!

Some of us know that we have really come down to "Evolve or die". The old ways are killing us. Are we going to continue in the old ways which are draining the life force from us, or will we take the steps necessary to truly begin living?

The Snakes Crawl at Night, but It's All Good

2010-02-19T10:48:00.001-06:00

For two nights in a row, I've dreamed that I was trying to enter a cave or room and a snake approached me at the entrance, and I withdrew, ending the dream. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the symbolism here.

At first, I thought the snake was preventing me from entering, but on this second morning, I realized that this was pure perception. The snake wasn't coiled, or hissing, or showing fang.

So, I went back into my dream this time and befriended the snake. I petted it and played with it and invited it to enter me. A nice energy orgasm was my reward.

When you really begin to understand yourself as an energy being and your connection with All That Is, you can have the most amazing experiences energetically that reverberate through your body. You can make love with the Universe, with the sun, the moon, a tree, a flower or whatever. Tree hugging isn't just about saving the forest. I'm just saying.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

2010-02-07T10:13:00.000-06:00

I wept last night. I cried like a baby. I wept for all the times I have broken my heart, and for the realization that I am the only one who has ever broken my heart. I can't control what anyone else does, but I can choose my thoughts about it, and thus my feelings about it.

I wept for the walls I built around my heart that only served to block pain in and block love out.

I wept for your broken heart, too.

And to all upon whom I have projected blame for my broken heart, I take it back. I claim it. I own it. It is mine. Mine to deal, mine to heal. You are free.

Arms Wide Shut

2010-01-26T10:52:00.000-06:00

A good friend of mine pointed out to me that I have not been as open to receive as I thought I was. It really touched a sore spot, and I realized that I still have some fear about what life will bring me if I open my arms wide to receive.

That leads me to understand that I am not seeing everything that comes my way as a gift to be embraced. This was a blind spot for me, and it helps me understand why things are still not flowing in my life as I desire.

Now, I know what to shift.

Thank you.

Starting Off 2010 With a Sis-Boom-Bang

2010-01-04T10:20:00.000-06:00

To begin with, the final day of 2009 culminated in a wild and wonderful array of powerful energies: a full moon, which was also a blue moon, a lunar eclipse and my own moon time. So, I was already soaring energetically before the new year rolled in.

Then, on the first and second days of the year, I attended drum circles. I didn't participate in the drumming. That may come later. I just drew in the rhythm and allowed it to transport me wherever it wished to take me. Soon, I could feel my body pulse to the rhythm. Later, I thought, "What an interesting dimension this could add to other activities". ;-)

One thing after another has been happening to raise my vibration and even when fear comes, and it still does, as a habitual response, I am quickly able to return to my center and feel the amazing resonance of Spirit.

I am creating my own paradise, and living it now.

Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about!

Laying Down the Knife

2009-12-03T21:58:00.000-06:00

We recoil in horror at the thought of someone mutilating themselves, cutting themselves, and yet many of us do the same thing with relationships. I know I have done so, many times. I can look back on my life and see a long-standing pattern of using relationships to cut myself and crush my own heart. It's a sick-ass way to use people.

I have to admit the thought is repulsive to me. I've never thought of myself as a user, because I am a lover and a giver. But paradox exists within us. Otherwise, we could not reflect it in our "outer" world.

In any case, I am done with this. I am laying down the knife. No more cutting myself or otherwise abusing myself using the instrument of other people.

I am declaring my independence from the practice of self-mutilation. I am free!!!

Rewriting My Story

2009-10-14T10:58:00.000-05:00

I realized something very important this morning: the role I have been playing my whole life, that of the tragic love figure - alone and unwanted, has been an addiction for me. I am defining addiction as extreme attachment.

Sure, some things happened in my early childhood that triggered those initial feelings of being alone and unwanted, but the perpetuation of the myth has been my own doing. It was my life story, and I can see now that it couldn't have played out any other way, because I wrote it that way, with my thoughts and expectations.

So, time and again, when love presented itself, I turned it away. I hadn't written love into my story, only the search for love. The search for love is perfectly safe. As long as love is just out of reach, you've got nothing to lose, right? My whole life has been about making sure I've got nothing to lose when it comes to love. Apparently, I have a deep-seeded belief in loss that needs to be uprooted and tossed.

And when I married, of course I married someone who was both qualified and willing to support me in my role. I always felt alone and unwanted in my marriage, but that was never his fault. He couldn't have played any role in my life other than the one I offered. If he had come bearing ardent love, deep intimacy, openness, attentiveness, I would have turned him away. No roles were available for lovers in my story.

Oh, I wanted those things, deeply and passionately. But I couldn't allow myself to have them and still maintain the image I held of myself as alone and unwanted.

And no amount of Lights! Camera! Action! could change the course of the story, then or now. The only thing that can make a difference is awareness that the role is my own creation and a major rewrite of the story.

The awareness has dawned. The rewrite is in progress.

Don't Do It! It's a Trick.

2009-09-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

What are we saying to someone when we ask them to change some essential aspect of who they are? The message is basically this: "You are wrong. You have no right to exist as you are. But if you do this or be that or change the other, I will grant you that right".

Trouble is, no one has the power to grant you that right. It is yours already by virtue of your existence. Your right to be is a given. Your right to be exactly as you are belongs to your essential self and cannot be taken away, but you can give it up.

Of course, there will be times when we need to make course corrections, behave differently, make better choices. But what I am talking about is being asked to deny or betray who you really are, what you really feel, the full and free and incomparable expression of your marvelous essence, your unprecedented truth, your unparalleled gifts.

When anyone asks you to deny your true self, don't do it! It's a trick.

47 Ways to Fine Tune Your Brain by Steven Aitchison

2009-09-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

47 Ways to Fine Tune Your Brain

Your brain is a complex organ. It is the controller of your body, your thoughts, your state of mind and your ultimately your life. There are some who abuse it, some who underuse it, and some who overuse it to the point of meltdown.

In this article we'll look at dozens of tactics that will help you maintain your brain into old age and help to increase your mental agility and cognitive development.

1. Don't try and multitask, it can't be done.

Our brains can only focus and concentrate on one thing at a time, this is a proven scientific fact. While you can most likely handle multiple menial tasks, anything that requires you to concentrate, reason, or decide deserves full focus.

2. Exercise your brain, not just your body.

A lot of us leave learning behind when we leave school, college or university. Keep the brain fit by learning something new, whether it be a language, a new skill or musical instrument.

3. The world is a mystery.

Use your brain to constantly ask questions and explore your surroundings. Continually exercise your brain by not accepting everything you see and hear: question it and free your sense of curiosity.

4. Use both hemispheres

Use the left hemisphere of your brain to practice logical, mathematical problems in your life. Use the right hemisphere to unleash your creativity. You will know what side is dominant so make it a point to practice using your non dominant hemisphere.

5. Get to know your sleeping pattern.

Your brain needs sleep as much as your body but everybody is different. I function on 5-6 hours you might work best on 8-9 hours.

6. Feed your brain decent information.

Your brain is learning throughout the night, so give it something worthwhile to feed it. Our brain is not restoring energy whilst we are sleeping it is cutting out the noise and going over the days events and processing it; give it some great material to process.

7. If you want to learn more whilst studying, start pacing.

If you are reading a book, start pacing. Movement gets the blood flowing and this helps oxygenate your brain. I walked my way through university and have taught my sons study walking to help them memorize information.

8. You've heard it before.

Exercise is probably the number 1 way to increase the brains capabilities in every way possible, from memory to creativity. There's no getting around it, we all need to exercise.

9. Keep Social

Staying socially active has been shown to keep your brain sharp well into old age.

10. Use the internet to keep your brain active.

A University of California Los Angeles team found searching the web stimulated centers in the brain that controlled decision-making and complex reasoning.

11. Eat dark chocolate.

Yes, eating dark chocolate has been shown to be beneficial for releasing an important brain chemical called dopamine. Dopamine aids in learning and memory.

12. Learn a song.

Learn the lyrics of some of your favorite songs to keep your listening skills and memory skills alive.

13. Watch brain stimulating movies.

Movies that make you think (such as mysteries) help keep your brain and mind active.

14. Play video games

This has been shown to increase cognitive abilities and can help fight Alzheimer's.

15. Practice doing things with your non-dominant hand.

This stimulates the brain in many areas and also can be quite fun.

16. Use meditation as a way to alleviate your stress.

There are thousands of studies about the beneficial effects of mediation and keeping your stress levels down is good for you. You lose brain cells the more stressed you feel, so controlling stress levels is important.

17. Laugh as often as possible.

Laughing out loud boosts the immune system and releases endorphins, the bodies feel good chemicals.

18. Think positive.

Thinking positively is a great way to keep your brain alive. Constant negative thinking depresses the mind and goes on to literally depress the immune system. Thinking more positive thoughts is a good way to keep stress down and spur you to take action for a better life.

19. Practice gratitude.

Practicing gratitude can increase your happiness level significantly which helps to alleviate stress which helps your whole brain and body.

20. Sex

Sex is another great way to keep your cardiovascular system healthy which means more oxygen to your brain which keeps the brain healthy.

21. Read a great book.

No matter what type of books you read, they are all beneficial in keeping your brain healthy and active and ward off the aging process.

22. Drink less alcohol.

Alcohol in moderation can actually be good for the brain, however too much alcohol can kill brain cells and your ability to be able to think and reason effectively.

23. Working.

A lot of people look forward to giving up work as we get older, however, working even in a part time job can keep the mind active. If you are retired you can do volunteer work to keep you active.

24. Keep up to date with current events and news.

Keeping your brain fit is about feeding your mind with new information. Watching current affairs programs can help with this so long as they don't stress you out.

25. Listen to music.

Listening to music that you wouldn't normally listen to is another good way to keep your brain active. Music has the ability to release positive emotions in you.

26. Dance.

Dancing is a great all around for both mind and body. Learning s a new dance helps your cognitive skills, your spatial awareness, your social skills, your motor skills and helps keeps your body healthy.

27. Throw a ball.

Throwing and catching a ball is great for sensory-guided movement. It can improve your brain’s visual, tactile and hand-eye coordination responses and keep them sharp well into old age.

28. Eat well.

Eating certain types of food can really be beneficial to your brains chemistry. Avoid fatty foods and eat more vegetables and fruit. This is sound advice for brain and body.

29. Drink plenty of water.

Drinking water helps the cells function properly and keeps you feeling hydrated from the inside out.

30. Have a cup of tea.

Drinking tea, hot or cold, can stimulate your brain in many ways. Tea contains caffeine which can be good for you if drunk in moderation.

31. Take a trip.

Have you always fancied traveling? Well, it has been shown that traveling really does broaden your horizons.

32. Use your debating skills. (Although I would change this to stimulating conversation. :)

Having friendly debates with friends and family can improve your logical, thinking, reasoning and creativity skills.

33. Sleep a little longer.

Sleeping an extra few hours every now and again is good for rejuvenating your brain and help you learn faster.

34. Take naps.

Taking a nap throughout the day can help keep you from feeling tired and help stave off 'brain fog'. A ten minute nap will do to help you function throughout the day.

35. Turn down the TV.

If you watch a lot of TV turn it down to hone your listening and concentration skills.

36. Break the cycle.

If you tend to do the same thing day in day out, try and break the pattern of your activities. Your brain relies on doing something different to keep it active, break your normal routine to do this.

37. Learn a new word.

Learning anything new will help keep your brain healthy. Learning a new word each day is a simple way to accomplish this.

38. Look at old photographs.

This is a great way to keep your memories alive and to strengthen cell connections within the brain.

39. Do something outrageous.

Doing things we would normally never do like a bungee jump, a parachute jump, hill climbing, a helicopter ride, etc., will keep your brain alive, literally.

40. Train your brain.

The 'cogni-fit' industry is huge and is growing every year and for good reason. Start playing some of these 'cogni-fit' games to keep your brain healthy and active.

41. Take supplements.

Supplements like omega-3, folic acid with vitamin B-12, CoEnzyme Q10, Acetyl-L-Carnitine, and an all round strong multi-vitamin supplement, has been shown to slow down the aging process. Check with your doctor before taking supplements.

42. Mindfulness.

A simple mindfulness exercise is to just sit and relax and pay attention to your breathing. This helps to promote relaxation, keep your mind focused, helps with concentration and does the body a world of good.

43. Develop critical thinking skills.

Critical thinking involves you asking questions of yourself and the world around and looking for evidence of your assumptions.

44. Become a philosopher.

Not literally, but start thinking about the bigger questions in life. This develops your brain on many levels. More than likely you will never come up with a definitive answer to the big questions but it keeps your brain and mind active.

45. Make your own affirmations.

Affirmations are a great way to keep your mind focused on your life goals. When you use affirmations you are also using your imagination, and activating other regions in your brain which can help with memory, creativity and even releasing feel good chemicals.

46. Thinking outside the box.

I always thought this was a strange saying as you cannot really think outside the box when you are always living inside the box of knowledge. However over the years I have come to realize it really means thinking without using your reasoning skills to look for alternatives and it can be a great way to keep your mind active.

47. Sing out loud.

Singing is a great way to help you focus and get rid of stress. People who sing out loud feel happier as they are not internalizing thoughts but focusing on an ext renal action, their voice. It also aids memory.

Scientists now know that our brains continuously make new neurons throughout our lives and it does this in response to the what we do in our lives. Neurons are important for transmitting and making connections with other cells. If we lose the neurons, we lose the power to think properly, to use our creativity, to learn, to memorize effectively, basically our brains slowly die. Exercise and brain stimulation is one of the best ways to keep making these new neurons. Using some of the examples above you will keep your brain healthy and active for years to come.

Written on 9/15/2009 by Steven Aitchison. Steven is the author of Change Your Thoughts and works as an alcohol and drugs counselor. He has a BSc in Psychology and has a passion for studying belief formation, thought processes and values and principles. His blog focuses on personal development through changing your thoughts but covers the whole personal development field.

Succulent Performances

2009-09-20T16:20:00.003-05:00

Last night, I enjoyed the 13th Annual Grand Taiko Festival at Miller Outdoor Theater in Hermann Park, performed by Kaminari Taiko of Houston. My experience of their music was powerful, ecstatic and mildly orgasmic. Yes, you read me right. The world is a waiting lover, and I intend to touch the world and enjoy receiving its touch in every possible moment.

I've become sensitive enough to energy that I could feel the drums' rhythms dancing through my brain. Mmmmm...delicious

Kaminari Taiko also delighted me by presenting aerial silk performers from ImaginAerial of New York. Imagine a cross between pole dancing and acrobatics performed on dual silk panels suspended from the ceiling. Veeeeery sexy!

Life is juicy. Drink it up!

Love Does/Love Doesn't

2009-09-08T12:12:00.003-05:00

Love does not imprison.

Love does not judge.

Love does not reject.

Love does not harm.

Love does not exclude.

Love gives space.

Love gives freedom.

Love gives freely.

Love leaves the door open.

Love accepts.

Love embraces.

Love understands.

Love receives but does not take.

Love knows all about you, desires you with a passion and yearns to give you freely of its flesh, its juice, its seed, its all.

Thanks for the inspiration, Danielle. Your quote from Abraham-Hick's new book, The Vortex, was synchronistic and an excellent reminder.

What Do I / Don't I Want To Know?

2009-09-07T11:44:00.002-05:00

Last night, I had a dream of a sort I haven't had in a very long time - a story dream.

In my dream, I and several other people were visiting and staying in the home of a man who had done some terrible things to his children, and then later had written a book about it. He gave a little speech and forbad all of us to read his book.

However, I found a copy of the book in his home and began discreetly reading it. I had this whole feeling of danger, that I would be in big trouble if I was caught reading this book. But I couldn't stop reading it. I kept looking for and finding opportunities for privacy so I could read the book.

A friend found out I was reading the book and warned me that it was too dangerous, but I felt compelled to continue reading. I assured her that, me being me, I had to learn the truth.

In the final scene of the dream before my kitten woke me up, I had locked myself in the master bedroom and was on the bed reading. Several people burst into the room right through the locked door. I quickly pushed the book off the bed and it fell beneath the bed.

Several people continued to mill about the room, talking and laughing, as I tried to find an opportunity and made several attempts to retrieve the book without being detected. I found myself observing the people in the room, which included several of the man's family members and wondering how they could go on as if nothing was amiss in the family situation.

In any case, I awoke without retrieving the book.

Later on, I talked to my friend, Rasheed about the dream. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something to the effect that I was both trying to discover the truth and blocking myself from discovering it. I remember that it brought tears to my eyes, which made me aware that it was something I needed to hear.

So, I sat with the question for a while, "What is it that I am trying to discover and trying not to discover?" I haven't received my answer yet, but I did send a message to Spirit/subconscious that I am open to discovering whatever it is, whatever the cost.

We'll see what happens next.

Dark Nights and Dawn

2009-04-30T12:56:00.003-05:00

It's been a ridiculously long time since I have written here. Why? It seems to me that whenever I have been inspired to write, it has been easy to sum up in 140 characters or less, so I have been doing most of my writing on Twitter.

Plus, I've been going through a sort of dark night of the soul experience. I guess I find it difficult to share something like that while I am going through it. It is easier to sum it all up once one is through it and has analyzed the lessons and gifts it held.

But here I am, deciding to write, even though I am square in the middle of such an experience. Oh, what do I know? I could be near the end.

I have heard it said that it is always darkest just before dawn.

In any case, I am exhausted. I understand that is part of the process. I intend to fully surrender to the process, even though I thought I was through with it with the end of last year. Apparently, there is still "stuff" that needs clearing before I am truly ready to move forward.

I am noticing more and more synchronicities. In fact, I have been noting them all along. But my awareness of them is increasing and so it seems as if they are increasing.

In any case, I am grateful for the clearing. I expect to feel much lighter and freer when this is all over with, and perhaps ready for whatever purpose I came to fulfill. We'll see.

2009 - My Year of Realization

2009-01-08T20:07:00.004-06:00

I don't usually do New Years Resolutions. I mean, if you are aware of something that needs to change in your life, why wait for a New Year or even Monday?

However, this year, the time when I am prepared to take action just happens to coincide with the beginning of a new year. So, here I am, sharing my intentions for this now, not necessarily this year.

I started out with three items on my list and it morphed into six by the time I gave my mini-icebreaker for Toastmasters during our first meeting of the year.

And so, my intentions for now are:

1. Experplay at least three times a week. I choose not to exercise because it sounds like such a chore. I would rather spend time doing things I find enjoyable that also strengthen my body.

2. Drink more water. Building habits may be challenging, but I know it will be worth it. I am starting with 4 glasses a day and working up to 8.

3. I choose to practice enjoyment of the abundance of grace and love that is bestowed on me each day and to express appreciation for it all.

4. I choose to believe that I am capable of more than I have ever believed possible. It's the belief, the self-concept, that limits us or sets us free, according to our choice.

5. I choose to Be Someone.

"Be someone who listens, and you will be heard. Be someone who loves, and you will be loved. Be someone who gives, and you will be blessed. Be someone who comforts, and you will know peace.

Be someone who genuinely seeks to understand, and you will be wise. Be someone kind, someone considerate, and you will be admired. Be someone who values truth, and you will be respected. Be someone who takes action, and you will move life forward.

Be someone who lifts others higher, and your life will be rich. Be someone filled with gratitude, and there will be no end to the things for which you'll be thankful.

Be someone who lives with joy, with purpose, as your own light brightly shines. Be, in every moment, the special someone you are truly meant to be."

~ Ralph Marston

6. Finally, I choose to fall in love with life and everyone in my life experience over and over and over again, and give up concern over whether anyone understands that or not.

It is shaping up to be an awesome year already. I am getting excited about my life experience again. Life is turning me on!

Yeah, Yeah, Goals, Yada, Yada, Yada

2009-01-05T09:06:00.002-06:00

My outlook on goals has been rather dismal over the past couple years of my life. I got tired of hearing how goals must be this or that - specific and measurable, etc., etc., etc.

First of all, I have created a problem with the word must. It implies that there is only one way to do a thing, and this is it. That used to bug me. So many people use that word, and when I hear it, little bells go off in my head that warn me that ego is raising its ugly head. And I suppose that is my ego wanting to say, You are wrong, buddy. That is not the only way it can be done.

And for everyone who says a thing must be done in a certain way, I can find at least one other person that accomplished the same thing in another way. Just because you have found a way that works, doesn't make it the way. We must humble ourselves and quit telling everybody else how things must be done. Just kidding! You must not do a damn thing you don't want to do. *wicked grin*

Anyway, I am rethinking goals right now, and I realize that what I react to is mostly semantics. They are just words, and as a good friend recently pointed out, it is our attachment of some meaning to the words that causes our adverse reactions.

And I realize that I have always had my own approach to goals that worked for me. Being fairly balanced between my analytical mind and my creative mind helped with this.

For instance, when all the "expert" advice failed me, I developed my own approach to guiding my children. You can't exactly attach metrics to the goal of bringing up healthy, happy children. The approach for me was similar to Michelangelo's approach to carving David. He saw the David in the chunk of marble and chipped away anything that wasn't part of the David. I saw certain behaviors for my children that I knew would help them in life, and I chipped away at behaviors that I knew would be hurtful. I didn't try to change their personalities, and my approach was not harsh. I was merely more persistent than they were, and I often mirrored for them what their behavior looked like.

So, not all goals are measurable, in the sense that they can be evaluated based on systems of metrics. But that doesn't mean you can't see their effects.

Not only that, they are not all specific. I didn't have a list of things I wanted my children to practice. I merely followed my intuition and noticed when they were moving into behaviors that could be harmful to them, and guided them to make course corrections when needed.

The other issue I have had with goals is that I have experienced them mentally as limitations. If I go after this, I eliminate other possibilities. At least, that's the way I was thinking. I am an explorer by nature, and I would rather go on a trip and discover what's out there than have an agenda.

Now, I am thinking of goals more like ports of call on my cruise through this life experience. Just because I set a goal doesn't mean I am married to it for life. I can stop off there and enjoy it for a while, then sail off to another destination of my choice. I can even change course if I so choose and scrap any destination I have set for another, more appealing one.

However, I am still totally unsure of any five year plans. Looking at the rate at which change is happening in our world today, I think three months is long enough to look ahead. We only have today, anyway, and we may not even have later today. This moment is all we have for sure, so let's not put off enjoying our lives for when some goal or other is reached. Tomorrow never comes. Neither does later.

2008 - My Year of Deconstruction

2008-12-31T13:23:00.003-06:00

One of the reasons I haven't written as much this year as I would have liked is that for me, this has been a year of deconstruction - the systematic deconstruction of the many concepts by which I have identified myself. And as the walls crumbled, I discovered serious cracks in the foundation upon which I have built my life – my self-concept.

Chiefest among the concepts that fell to deconstruction was the idea that I could be defined by the roles I play, by someone else's image of me, or even by my own image of myself. What is a self-concept but a collection of ideas we hold about ourselves? Much of the time, when we look deeply and honestly at those ideas, we find that they have no basis in fact.

Closely linked with the idea of a self-concept is the concept of inferiority and superiority. If I say, I am intelligent, the underlying idea is that anyone who cannot be defined as intelligent is less than me. If I say, I am successful, the idea attached to that is that I am superior to anyone who cannot be defined as successful.

If I say, I have a good job, the idea is that some jobs are bad. My job is valuable, whereas the janitor's job has little merit. Try cleaning your own office and emptying your own trash for a couple weeks, and that idea will go right out the window.

The concept of inferiority and superiority has created the denigration of others for millennia, and yet we all still carry traces of it in our psyche. It is nothing more than an idea, and having outgrown that idea, why not cast it away?

And so I ask, What do you mean, think outside the box? What box? This comes from the realization that there is no box unless we generate one with our thoughts.

Another way of putting what has been happening in my life is strategic emptying of myself as a vessel. A full vessel cannot receive. It needs to be emptied in order to be receptive.

As long as I am full of knowledge, I am not open to learning. When I empty myself of knowledge, and admit that much of what I call knowledge is nothing more than judgment, I become open to what is. When I empty myself of ideas about you, I become open to who you really are. When I empty myself of ideas about myself, I become unlimited.

I love being empty, being nothing. Nothing at all. Unwritten, undefined, undefinable.

And so it is.

Some Thoughts Are Not Worth Entertaining

2008-12-10T12:07:00.004-06:00

Thinking, thinking, thinking. Always thinking, but to what end?

Most of our thoughts are junk. That's why I'm glad I can't read minds. I know I have had plenty of thoughts that I wouldn't want to share with anyone. And I really have enough to handle with my own mind chatter. I surely don't want to deal with that of others.

We all have thoughts that don't truly represent our hearts. I can remember thinking horrible thoughts as a child, such as thinking that I wished one of my siblings was dead. Those thoughts far from represented the truth of my heart. I know. I have lost two siblings, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I have come to understand that thinking is highly overrated. I believe our minds are meant to be tools, and most of the time we seem to use them as blueprints instead. I certainly don't think we need to throw out the baby with the bath water. We shouldn't stop using our minds just because much of what is produced in them is junk.

We only need to realize that our mind is only part of a vast system of intelligence, which includes our heart intelligence, our "gut" intelligence, both of which are connected to universal intelligence.

And we need to send thoughts that are not for our highest good on their way, and only entertain thoughts that are purposeful and add value to our lives. The same might be said for relationships, as well.

Do It On Purpose

2008-12-10T12:07:00.003-06:00

One of the principles that I am reminded of today is living on purpose - choosing actions related to your purpose and choosing to do whatever you do on purpose.

Of course, the more your activities are related to your overall life purpose, the closer you will come to fulfilling that purpose. But there are many things that may not be directly related to your life purpose, and yet contribute to your quality of life.

For example, if you choose to eat on purpose, you might find that you do not need to eat just because it is "meal time". You may not be experiencing hunger at that time. And you may choose to wait until you are experiencing hunger before choosing to eat.

Then, when you do choose to eat, you may find that by paying attention to what you are eating, you can maximize the experience. If you pause for a moment and pay attention to your food, you may find increased pleasure in the experience of your food. Notice the colors and shapes and aroma of your food. Notice and feel grateful for the abundance of food that is available to you. As you begin to eat, notice the taste, texture and temperature of your food. I have heard it said that you receive the most intense flavor from the first two bites of food. So, pay attention to, savor and enjoy those first bites.

Instead of chewing and swallowing mindlessly, pay attention to chewing and notice when your food is fully ready for swallowing. Digestion begins in the mouth and you are doing your digestive system an important service by chewing your food thoroughly.

I practiced this today, and I noticed a little burst of joy in the experience. That's what I'm trying to say - en-joy.

I've noticed that when I practice this kind of attentiveness, I find joy in the simplest activities.

So, let's pay attention to life and fully en-joy it. It's passing, one way or the other. It can pass unnoticed, or it can pass with our full participation and attention.

En-joy your life experience - every facet of it - if you so choose.

Barbara Jordan Endeavors

2008-12-01T15:09:00.003-06:00

Barbara Jordan Endeavors is a non-profit organization serving students with disabilities. Students are encouraged to achieve academic excellence and develop leadership skills and are provided with a scholarship during their senior year of high school.

Up until now, the program has been funded privately by Otis and Thelma Scott, but sadly, Otis Scott passed away this spring. I intend to serve this organization by seeking grant money to enable it to continue operating, but in the meantime, the organization is in need of donations in order to continue its work.

There will be a fund-raising reception on December 13, 2008, at their Commons of Grace office located at 9110 Tidwell Street, Houston, TX 77078. The reception will be held from 10 a.m. to 12 noon.

If you know of anyone who has funds available for donations this month, please consider Barbara Jordan Endeavors, and please consider attending this reception in Houston. Investing in our children's futures is one of the most profitable investments we could ever hope to make.

Leave Traces of Kindness

2008-11-19T11:37:00.003-06:00

"We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace." - Peggy Tabor Millin

This is a principle I have used to guide my interactions with others for many years now. I love the powerful way in which it is expressed by Peggy in these beautifully woven words.

It is my intention to remain open to others because you never know when your smile, your touch or your kind word could be the catalyst that begins a cycle of growth or awakening in another human being. There is also the distinct possibility that your kindness could help someone over a rough spot and or even give them the strength to continue.

Many people hide their struggles from others, feeling that it is a weakness to struggle at all. It is safe to assume that whatever kindness you can practice toward others is greatly needed in our world.

I know I often find myself wrapped up in my thoughts and miss opportunities to positively affect my world. But I hold the intention to create ripples of kindness, and so each time I notice myself closing in, I consciously choose to open and take every opportunity I can to fill the world with love and positivity.

Won't you join me?

The Business Application of Testosterone

2008-11-08T19:46:00.004-06:00

People tend to be afraid of sexual energy in the workplace and in working relationships. They fear they will “fall” into an affair. What they fail to realize is that people don’t “fall” into affairs, even if they kid themselves into believing so to alleviate their guilt. They “step” into affairs. Attraction is only the first step.

People tend to think every urge calls for action, but in reality, acting on every urge dissipates energy and may even indicate addiction. We are given brains in order to make decisions on which urges we will act on and to anticipate the possible consequences of our actions.

Sexual energy is not always about sex. Sometimes, it’s about energy. Look at the top players in any company or industry and you are likely to find passionate people, probably people of intense sexual energy. And you will find them channeling some of that energy into their passion for excellence and high achievement in their work.

Testosterone is a chemical component of passion and passion is a fundamental element of high achievement. High levels of testosterone not only drive high sexual energy, but also high achievement. "Testosterone drives passion, ambition, and the motivation to excel, and plain old joie de la vie." So states testosterone expert, TC Luoma, and so have I concluded from observing high-energy, high-achieving people.

“Stress, physical inactivity, [excess weight], illness, smoking, alcohol and the use of both prescription and "recreational" drugs, can contribute to less than ideal levels of testosterone” states Sam Fields. Low levels of testosterone have been linked to depression and lack of energy in men, based on articles in the Harvard University Gazette and the American Journal of Psychiatry. Susan Rako, in her book titled The Hormone of Desire, suggests that testosterone deficiency in women leads to flatness of moods, and decreased mental sharpness. Low levels of sexual energy and a decrease in passion for living go hand in hand. Working is part of living. There's the connection.

Anything that stokes ones passion for life is going to have the effect of increasing testosterone. Listening to sexy music is an easy way to add fuel to your fire. Doing things you are passionate about in terms of work and play has that same stimulating effect. Getting plenty of rest helps restore testosterone levels as well as energy levels in general. Exercising and lowering one’s stress levels are other effective methods for getting one’s juices flowing in increasing amounts.

Women tend to lag behind men in harnessing sexual energy for high achievement. Men tend to lag behind women in harnessing love energy. Sexual energy and love energy are each powerful forces in their own right. Couple them and talk about dynamism! Money energy is going to have to join that party.

At least that's the way I see it. But, what do I know?

It's a Spiritual Thing

2008-11-06T10:54:00.001-06:00

Many people and organizations have been trying for a very long time to eradicate poverty and other things that are detrimental to quality of life.

Many have given up because they find that changing someone's outward circumstances does not necessarily change a person's life. A person must be willing to change within before any real change will take place in their life.

That’s why welfare seldom works to raise people out of poverty. People must be willing to change in order to truly benefit from charity.

Whatever is within will find it's way into expression in one's outward circumstances. This is why some people can win millions of dollars and wind up broke within a short time, while others can lose fortunes and regain them in no time flat.

Just as we can't make a person wealthy by giving them money, we can't make a person generous by taking their money away.

It's a spiritual thing.

Call Me Pollyanna

2008-11-06T10:51:00.003-06:00

I love the fact that our country has grown enough to elect a black president.

I am still not thrilled about some of Obama's ideas, though. I want to see everyone rise out of poverty and have what they need. I just don't want to see "redistribution of wealth" become a government mandate. I don't have a lot of money, so I am not coming from a greed standpoint, but from the standpoint of freedom.

The more we ask from the government, the more they take from us, and personally, I think they have taken enough already.

But I am holding out hope that the changes we need to make on our planet will be made from a spiritual base, instead of a legislative one.

Our world has come a long way in growing out of a lot of its harmful beliefs, and I know there is still a lot of room for improvement, but I believe in us. Hey, call me Pollyanna, but I believe.

"I am neither an optimist, nor a pessimist, but a possibilist." - Max Lerner

Nine Nails

2008-10-29T14:42:00.002-05:00

Today, as I went for a walk, I picked up nine nails, screws and various other tire hazards from the roadside, in order to prevent damage to someone's tires.

Why would I bother to get my hands dirty like that?

Because...

I own the world.

Oh, not in terms of entitlement or actual property ownership. But in terms of responsibility, and in terms of love.

That doesn't mean I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just do what I can. It is just a small thing, but every time we do some small act of kindness, we make the world just a little bit better.

Now, obviously, I can't pick up every nail or screw from the roadside, and I won't save everyone's tires. But that doesn't mean I can't save some. I can make a difference, even if it is a small one.

I love this quote from one of Laura Ingalls Wilder's books, which she attributed to her mother, "Many hands make light work."

One person performing one small act of kindness makes a difference. But imagine how much of a difference it would make if everyone performed one small act of kindness every day or even every week.

A lot of people doing tiny things would make a gargantuan difference in the world. I believe it is happening much more often than we think. Let's make it happen even more.

Help from Tom Robbins

2008-10-14T15:02:00.003-05:00

“To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.” - Tom Robbins. This is precisely what I had in mind when I began this blog. Thinking the unthinkable, believing the unbelievable, expanding the parameters of what is possible.

What happened to that?

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” - Tom Robbins. This has me wondering, Am I committed to anything any more?

Maybe these words are here to be lights unto my path. Hmmm...we'll see where this leads.

Worry and Stress are Slow Suicide

2008-08-01T12:09:00.002-05:00

Worry and chronic stress release toxins into your body. Toxic buildup leads to disease. Therefore, worrying and chronic stress are slow suicide.

So is abusing alcohol and drugs, smoking and overeating or overindulging in unhealthy foods. When you put it that way, we are a nation of suicidal maniacs.

Worry is simply misuse of the imagination. If you can sit around and imagine all the things that can go wrong and feel crappy, why not begin to imagine all the things that can go right and feel good?

Hmmm...something to think about.

You ARE the magic; You ARE the miracle

2008-07-30T11:42:00.002-05:00

Lately, I have been using a little ritual and symbolism in my manifestation practice, and I can tell you it is turning me on!

But I knew that I was going to be away from home for a full day, and I didn't want to carry my props with me in order to continue the ritual work I am doing. Then I remembered that there is nothing that is needed outside of me to complete my work of manifestation. It is all within.

The purpose of the props and rituals and even methods is that they increase our awareness of our oneness and our alignment with Spirit. It is our awareness of this alignment, this oneness with All That Is that puts us in the place of being open and able to receive what we have already created within and empowers us to bring it forth into our life experience.

What is this empowering force? Is it something that comes to us from outside? Not at all. All the power we need to do everything we can imagine and more is already inside us. Anything that empowers us is merely awakening us to the power within.

We are the magic. We are the miracle. We are the manifestation. We are the bliss we are looking for.

So, let's stop looking and begin really seeing. It is here. It is now. We are it. And so it is.

Breaking Down the Walls

2008-07-23T14:55:00.003-05:00

Something a friend of mine said this morning triggered a breakthrough for me. He is in business for himself, and he mentioned that as long as he is focused on having fun, money flows in freely. But whenever he and his wife have an argument about money, and he finds himself focused on making money, the influx of money slows down.

And suddenly the realization dawned on me that in the act of shutting people out of my heart, I am closing the door to the influx of money and all good things. It brought tears to my eyes and it took several minutes for me to compose myself. This is the answer I have been looking for...the answer to the question, Why am I not allowing myself to succeed?

I am now allowing inflow at all. It's like a part of my heart is shut tight. The giving part is wide open. I want others to receive my love, but when it comes to inviting others in, I am highly exclusive. I exclude almost everyone. I will gladly come into your heart and give you all that I have to give, but you may not enter mine.

That's not working too well for me, because it is all God. God is love. Therefore, it is all love. By shutting out love, I am shutting out everything. I am shutting out all I need and all I desire. I am shutting out my very own self.

Ouch!

Now, to let go of this remaining armor, and embrace freedom - the freedom to love and be loved boundlessly, passionately, intimately and ecstatically, the freedom to enjoy life to the fullest and the freedom to prosper in every way.

A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

2008-07-09T12:00:00.003-05:00

Once in a while, an e-mail forward comes along that is really worth reading. This is one of those.

Nature does nothing uselessly. The mysteries of nature should not be questioned, they should be experienced.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed..

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you entered my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Giving Up

2008-07-09T11:28:00.003-05:00

I remember trying so hard to be what I thought would make me lovable to others. It is a kind of death, because if you are not being yourself, who are you being? You are not being at all. You are existing.

You can't earn love. You can only give it and receive it. It is either a gift or it is not love at all. If you do try to earn it, nothing you do will ever be enough. And how can anyone love a non-person, anyway?

Sometimes, giving up is the most positive thing you can do. Trying to change what is can be like beating a dead horse. It's not going anywhere. Give it up! This is coming from someone who is bound and determined to see a thing through once I start. Surrender does not come easily to me. I descended from stubborn, determined and strong women and if it's important enough for me to invest my time and attention, I want it to work, damn it! But what if what you are trying to make work is not even for your highest good? Hello! It's a prison, a dungeon even, but I am still going to make it work. Stubbornness can easily become foolishness. Guilty!

And so giving up, at least in the sense of surrender, is not failure. It is making space for real success.

Giving up on a relationship that is not serving your highest good is making space for a relationship that will.

I like the way it is written in Trisha Yearwood's song, Let the Wind Chase You:

Like a wildwood flower
Doesn’t have to reach for the sun
And when it needs a drop of water
It doesn’t have to ask the rain to come

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

No one says a diamond isn’t precious
Just because it hasn’t yet been found
And no one blames the moon for not shining
Just because it’s hidden by a cloud

I don’t wanna blame myself
Thinking that I’m not enough
And wonder what’s wrong with me
Because I couldn’t win your love

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you, mmhmm
Let the wind (let the wind)
Chase you

I Get It

2008-07-09T11:09:00.003-05:00

I had a total Freudian slip when I was writing out this post the first time.

I intended to write, "Attachment is suffering. It is not what other people do or don't do that causes us to suffer. It is wanting circumstances to be different from what they are." But, what I actually wrote was, "It is wanting circumstances to be different from what we are."

Interesting, because I think that is it in a nutshell. We attract what we are, or at least what we think we are. We think we want a loving relationship, but if we think we are unworthy, we attract someone who reflects our thoughts by treating us as if we are unworthy. Then, we suffer in that relationship, because we resist seeing what is being reflected back to us. We want circumstances to be different than what we are.

If someone or some relationship is reflecting back to us our sense of unworthiness, does unworthiness become the truth about us? Absolutely not! It is merely a reflection of the illusion that we are holding in our thoughts. If we think that we are unworthy, we feel unworthy, and we create the illusion of unworthiness...which must then be reflected back to us by divine law. Just as a mirror can only reflect the image projected into it, the mirror of our circumstances can only reflect what we project into it from our internal pictures.

This seems to be an annoyance, but it is actually a blessing. We become aware of what internal pictures we are holding by what we are reflecting in our life experience. This provides the perfect opportunity for changing our internal pictures from what we don't want to experience to what we do want.

At least, that's the way I see it. But what do I know?

Resisting or Allowing? A Simple Choice for Life

2008-07-09T10:16:00.001-05:00

By Patrice Robson

"The world offers itself to me in a thousand ways, and I ache with an awareness of how infrequently I am able to receive more than a small fraction of what is offered, of how often I reject what is because I feel it is not good enough." --Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Lately, I'm becoming more and more conscious of two completely different ways of being: resisting and allowing.

By really paying attention to myself, I can sense when I'm in resistance. For me, resistance brings rigidity - my body feels hard, like I'm wearing psychic armor. And I also feel a tightening, a hardness to my mind, like I'm marshalling my mental defences for battle.

Not surprisingly, resistance feels negative. Most times, I'm resentful - although I often don't know what I'm resenting. Sometimes it's rooted in fear. It has a "me against them" kind of attitude.

What has been surprising is that I'm often in resistance when there hasn't been any obvious cause for that kind of reaction. I've discovered that being in resistance is a habit. It's the way I've learned to live - to always be protecting myself against life, even though living this way steals my energy and my joy.

Fortunately, I've discovered the second word: allowing. What is allowing? It's not controlling. It's not forcing things to be my way or even just wishing things were my way. It's letting life be just as it is.

When I'm allowing, I experience a softness in my being. The armour is gone; I feel safe and relaxed. This is where peace, contentment and well-being arise. I'm not at war with life and there's space to enjoy whatever's going on. It feels so good!

I can only get to allowing when I let go of judgment. I need to release my opinions that "things would be better if..." Backing up a bit, I can only get to allowing when I become aware that I'm resisting.

For me, sensing the contrast between resistance and allowing has been an experience of awakening. And it's so simple! All I have to do is pay attention! Am I feeling armoured for battle, angry at the world, even in a very subtle way? Or am I feeling open, soft, comfortable, at ease? If I'm in resistance, I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes and this helps ease the tension.

Just becoming aware of the resistance often releases it. And as I practice this awareness, over and over and over again, my experience of life is lightening up. I smile more often and worry much less. It's all I've ever wanted!

To Him

2008-07-08T23:07:00.003-05:00

I am aware of you. I can feel you in my heart, my soul, my body. At times, I think I have discovered you.

Not that I am searching. I tried searching. It didn't really get me anywhere I wanted to be.

Instead, I am opening. I am inviting. I am allowing, or at least I am working toward allowing.

I know that you are love, and that all love emanates from One Source, and that Source is flowing love to me. I have only to receive.

I know that because you are love, I can trust you with my heart. And I know that I still won't find it easy to trust.

You will have to be up for a challenge, because I guarantee I will be one. But if you can handle it, you will be soooo rewarded.

I won't play games when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't do competition in love. Don't make me wonder whether you want me or not, because if I have to wonder, I will believe you don't.

I know that we are not really separate. You are within me and I am within you.

And I know that when you come to me, time will disappear. Your love will be worth waiting for.

And the love we make will be heaven on earth.

And so it is.

Damn Mirror!

2008-07-06T14:29:00.003-05:00

So, I'm all complaining about men and the mixed messages they send out, and it hits me. It's that damn mirror! It's me. I'm the one sending out mixed messages.

I have no problem for instance, being playful and flirtatious with a man when I know it's not going to go beyond friendship. But when it comes to a man I could lose my heart to, I get all standoffish and serious. How can I expect a man to make sense of that? It doesn't even make sense to me.

Sometimes, awareness is a pain in the ass. We're not always thrilled with what we find lurking in the shadows when we turn on the light.

But, what the hell? I've come this far. Might as well go the distance.

The REAL Secret (Just Kidding)

2008-07-02T16:15:00.003-05:00

I am in the process of reading James Ray's book, Harmonic Wealth, and one of the things he stated early in the book is that a breakthrough is preceded by a breakdown.

That's exactly what I have found to be true in my life. In fact, my life seemed to sort of fall to pieces a little more than a year ago, and this past year has been a process of sorting through the debris and cleaning and clearing emotionally and spiritually.

I feel that reiki has been very instrumental in both the clearing process and in getting me to a place where I am ready to rebuild. That is where I am now, and it is a truly exciting place to be. I feel like I have been reborn and a whole world of possibilities has opened up for me.

I only thought I knew about being open to possibilities before. I am just a baby in this practice. But that bears out that if you do what you can with what you have, if you act "as if" you already have what you desire, the Universe will meet you way more than halfway.

We Love You, Warts and All

2008-06-28T07:06:00.003-05:00

Why do they love me? If they really knew me, they wouldn't love me. If they knew this or that, there's no way they would love me.

Is that so? Don't you think everybody on the planet has their own "this or that"? We all have things we would erase, if we could. But the truth of the matter is, those things that we find so repulsive about ourselves or our history are necessary for the growth we need to experience in this life.

I think about how diligently the news media digs up dirt on every politician and celebrity. I wonder how it would be if the tables were turned and someone started digging in their own past. Hmmm... I bet they would think twice before throwing stones.

For me, the solution to figuring out who really loved me was just to open my closet door and say, "See? There are all my skeletons. Ugly, huh"?

Amazingly, no one who really mattered rejected me. In fact, I found compassion from most folks. A few turned away, because they couldn't handle truth, but that is actually an excellent way of weeding out people in your life who are not contributing to your highest good.

I suspect this is what is happening when very wealthy people lose their fortunes. I'm betting their soul feels a need to separate their true friends from the parasites, and what better way to do this than to drain off the resources the parasites are showing up for?

One of my early speeches in Toastmasters was titled, "We Love You, Warts and All". The point I was trying to make is that we are loved for our "flaws" and human foibles, not in spite of them.

Actually, the truest and purest love has absolutely nothing to do with your personality, your strengths or your weaknesses. You are loved simply because you are, the way we love our babies, who have done absolutely nothing to earn or merit that love. This is the way God loves us, and the way we need to remember to love one another. We know how, since we are created in the image of the Creator. We simply need to remember.

In the words of Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss): "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

I Kissed a Girl (Not Really, I Just Sang About It)

2008-06-26T22:56:00.004-05:00

So, my baby girl keeps going around singing, "I Kissed a Girl." I told her, "Now that song's going to be stuck in my head for days." "We should sing it to Grandma and freak her out," she tells me. So I'm like, "Why not? Life is short."

Unfortunately, we did not get the effect we were going for. Mom just smiled. I guess we'll have to hit Dad next. I know it'll freak him out.

So, my baby girl tells me her friends totally think I'm bisexual because my MySpace page says I'm interested in men and women. I replied, "It also says 'friends and networking'." She says, "I know, but that's what they think."

Just in case you're wondering, I'm not inclined that way, though I will cop to a little experimentation in my teens. Hey, our mothers warned us about boys. They just weren't aware they needed to warn us about each other.

Although I am very nurturing and sensual, and those aspects present in pretty much all of my relationships, I've never felt sexually attracted toward another female. The "opposite" aspect is part of the mystique for me. Sorry, boys, I don't see it happening. But you can always dream.

Everybody's Mother

2008-06-26T21:50:00.003-05:00

I haven't missed my children being babies for a long time. I think the last time I had baby fever was seven or so years ago. Children grow up. It's what they do. It's natural. I didn't resist it. I enjoyed my children at every stage of their lives, even the annoying stages. :-)

But today, I went with my sister to my nephew's swim class. The minute I walked into the room, the maternal energy hit me like a ton of bricks. It brought tears to my eyes. I had to leave for a few moments to compose myself. So many babies, little ones and mommies. And suddenly, I'm craving a baby in my arms.

Now, I'm not about to go out and make a baby. That's a commitment not to be taken lightly. But I did realize I need an outlet for my overabundant maternal energy. Wherever I go, I take people into my arms and into my heart. But there's only so much mothering your friends can take from you, right?

I'm sure practicing massage will be a great way to utilize some of that energy, since it is such a nurturing act.

And I know that there are plenty of children in this world who could use some tender loving care. So, I'll just stay open and see what unfolds.

Reiki Is Making An Honest Woman Out Of Me

2008-06-26T08:27:00.004-05:00

Reiki is making an honest woman out of me. I was sitting at the reiki share meetup last night, talking to some of my friends, and we were discussing people who despise the opposite gender. I made the statement that we should allow everyone to stand or fall on their own merits.

It didn't hit me right then, but later I realized that I am not living in congruence with that belief. I have not been willing to trust my heart to any man because of some men that have betrayed my trust. Ouch!

I see now what is meant by bringing everything into harmony. You get to discover what you're not seeing and be brought face to face with what you're trying not to see. Yippeeee!

It's not very pleasant to discover that you are lying to yourself, but I suppose it beats continuing to lie to yourself unawares. No, I know it does.

If you want real adventure, take a journey into your self. But you'd probably rather face off with Mount Everest. It's a lot easier and less frightening.

Bringing It All Together

2008-06-25T11:11:00.002-05:00

I’ve mentioned that sexual abuse is part of my history. I learned to armor up pretty early in life because I learned there were people who would be happy to interact with your body who didn’t give a damn about your soul. I learned not to ask for what I needed, because one might ask for a fish and be given a serpent.

I can remember as a young woman how much I enjoyed the attention I could get with my body. I always felt invisible, but whenever I attracted masculine attention, I became aware that I was quite visible.

But I never let it get very far because I knew that men wanted my body. They didn’t want me. That’s why, believe it or not, I would not want to trade places with a Victoria’s Secret model. How would you ever know whether someone wanted you or just your body?

Then I wound up marrying someone who wanted neither. He didn’t want my body, but he didn't want me, either. He wanted someone to fill a role in his life, but he didn’t want me. If you want to mold someone into something other than what they are, you don’t really want them, you want some imaginary ideal of what you would like them to be. Get a Stepford wife (or husband), for God’s sake, and leave the real people alone.

Even though I don’t always feel strong, I know that I managed a 20-year-marriage that didn’t nurture my heart at all without hardening my heart. That’s pretty damn tough. That’s not to say I didn’t protect my heart.

I wound up armoring up and my weight became my gatekeeper. No one would want me strictly for my body anymore. Anyone who really wanted me would have to get past the overweight issue to get to my heart. They would have to want me pretty badly to get past that. But then I didn’t trust anyone to really want me, so even if they were willing to approach the gate, I would find some way to shoot them down.

Here’s the thing, when a body wants another body, it’s all about chemistry. It is all about finding someone who looks like they might be able to bring home the big hunk of meat or make beautiful, strong babies. Even if you have no intention of making babies, when you feel chemistry with someone, that’s what you’re responding to. I’m finding it is completely different when your soul wants another soul. The feeling of attraction may be just as strong, but it is deeper.

Now that I am releasing my emotional armor and working really, really hard to avoid replacing it, I am finding that the excess pounds are coming off as a side effect.

And speaking of work, the really hard work in life is the inner work - bringing my heart and my mind into congruence, and bringing harmony to all aspects of my life - that is hard, hard work. No wonder most people would rather work their fingers to the bone and stay too busy to notice they are living lives of quiet desperation.

Would I change it? Not a chance. I know that the more I allow Source to work in my life, to bring harmony and healing to me, the more I will be empowered to live on purpose. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hilarious (Mostly) Cat Pictures

2008-06-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

What Kind of Wild Are You?

2008-06-23T13:34:00.001-05:00

I'm not the kind of wild that stays out drinking all night. Just not my thing. And you'll probably never find me dancing on a table. I said "probably" before the "never". That's safe, right? I doubt I'll ever wake up in a strange bed and wonder how I got there. I'm not being critical if you do. It's just not my cup of tea.

No, I'm the kind of wild who might "eat mangoes naked" and lick the juice off my arms, a la SARK. Or shower under a waterfall (as long as it's reasonably secluded). I'm the kind of wild who loves playing in the rain and finds storms kind of sexy. In fact, I wouldn't mind being a storm chaser if it wouldn't detract from my soul's purpose.

What kind of wild are you?

My Own Conversation With God

2008-06-18T11:42:00.002-05:00

So, I asked God, "How can I realize the manifestation of my desires?"

And God answered, "You can start by not closing the doors I open for you."

Ouch. Staying open. It's not always easy, but it beats staying stuck. I think I'll try it.

I have a situation going on with my vehicle. I put it into the shop, expecting a relatively small expense in the car repair game. It didn't take long for the estimate to triple.

My mom asked, "How are you going to do that?" To which I answered, "The same way we always do what we have to do. We just do it."

I see it this way: I can worry and fret, and the Universe will provide for me; or I can relax and trust, and the Universe will provide for me. Either way, the provision is there, but relaxing and trusting feels a whole hell of a lot better than worrying and fretting.

Since I have never realized any benefit from worrying and fretting, why waste the energy? Now, I do believe it is important to be able to look ahead to prevent problems. It's what makes you take that second look to make sure you completely put out the fire or makes you aware not to leave the baby alone on the changing table.

But, have you ever heard of anyone increasing their income by worrying? I've never heard of anyone improving their health by worrying, either, although I have heard of people ruining their health by worrying. Now, some people find worry useful as an impetus to take action. But my question is, why not take action from a place of peace?

Worry never had any positive effect in my life that I can recall, but it did drain my energy and disturb my peace plenty of times. I can do very nicely without it, and so I will.

Reiki and the Power of Love and Light

2008-06-18T04:25:00.002-05:00

I missed what I'm sure was a very interesting meetup last night. Once my curiosity has been aroused, I don't want to miss a thing.

But I got into my mother's flower bed, and as soon as my hands made contact with the earth, I knew I was right where I needed to be. We are past the gross work of pulling up thick patches of weeds and grass and we have arrived at the finer work of pulling up little weeds that have grown back and sifting through for root systems we may have missed the first time around.

And I thought, "This is exactly what reiki is doing in my life". I have done a lot of clearing work over the past couple years and now reiki is going deep into the terrain of my heart and clearing out root systems and rotting stumps left over from the weeds that had overrun my garden for a number of years.

Speaking of stumps, we came upon a stump with very deep roots. Given the choice of chipping away at it for a week or yanking it out of the ground, we recruited Dad and his pickup truck to help. I noticed there were a couple times when Dad thought this wasn't going to work, and I kept encouraging him to try again. And I thought, this is one of the purposes of woman in the life of man, to encourage him to keep trying. I don't know if there is a woman behind every good man, but I do know men in all ages have been inspired to do amazing things because of woman.

For a while, in our society, it didn't seem to be cool to be womanly. There seemed to be a great drive to erase as many gender differences as possible. Now, I have always believed that there should be no difference in compensation between men or women doing the same job. And I know that womanhood was not given the respect and honor due it for a long time.

However, I am not a fan of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. There's nothing wrong with working to change the inequalities, but we don't have to give up the powerful qualities of womanhood or our femininity in the process. And it's not needful to go all the way to the other extreme and subjugate manhood. I remember for a while, it seemed like every time a man was depicted in a movie or television show, he was shown as inept and foolish.

There is power in masculinity and in femininity, and the ideal is balance. Instead of trying to dominate one another, we can bring out the best in one another, and also incorporate the strengths of our opposite without sacrificing any essential part of who we are. Henry Kissinger said, No one will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

I remember Helen Reddy's song that began, "I am woman. Hear me roar." But my observations over the years have borne out that woman can accomplish powerful change with a whisper. I noticed the powerful effects I was able to generate with my children and in managing others came from love, honor, respect and gentleness. And I observed women (and men) who "ruled with an iron fist". Generally, people followed only to the extent they had to. People gave whatever was necessary to keep the peace, and no more. That doesn't get a team or a family very far.

Greater things are accomplished through synergy than could ever be accomplished in a discordant system of misused power and subjugation. And what are we in one another's lives for if not to bring out and magnify one another's strengths, intensify one another's brilliance, kindle one another's fire, in order that we all may love deeper and purer, serve more effectively and live the grandest version of the greatest vision we could possibly have for our lives?

Practice

2008-06-16T23:22:00.004-05:00

Today I realized that there are several other lessons I haven't received deeply. It's good to learn, but if the learning doesn't become an integral part of your life, you may as well be memorizing trivia. At least with that, you can up your chances of winning a game show.

The truth is, I knew the time would come to translate all that I am learning into action, and it is only fitting that there should be tests before I am set loose on the world. Tests are all about finding out what you know and what you still need to learn. Even after you have learned a lesson well, it needs to be kept strong through practice.

I have been resistant to receiving love and really, the reasons are irrelevant. The effect is that in not receiving, I've created a blockage, which is clearing now. The important thing now is to love myself, so that I can come to love from a position of wholeness, and not from a position of need or greed.

When we come to love from wholeness, we can share our gifts without expectation. We can love unconditionally. We can hold our loved one with an open hand, knowing they will be in our lives as long as they should be, and that if they move on, it is for the highest good of all concerned. We can take responsibility for our own needs, rather than trying to pass that responsibility off to someone else.

I know this. Now it is time to practice. And if I forget, be so kind as to refresh my memory, if you please.

That's What Love Would Do

2008-06-16T02:44:00.001-05:00

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here," she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lit ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."

The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.

It's Showtime!

2008-06-15T22:38:00.004-05:00

I finally got tired of dancing all around this thing the Universe wants me to deal with, and so I went to sleep this morning (working nights) after calling on any and all available help to see and deal with whatever it is that I have been unwilling to face.

I promptly fell asleep to some deep meditation music and slept longer and deeper than I have in a long time...and remembered exactly nothing when I awoke.

So, I asked for help to become aware of whatever it was I discovered in my dream work. There may be more to the story, but I did become aware of something very important.

I discovered that there are several lessons that my soul has gotten through to my intellect over the past year that my heart has been resistant to. From a logical standpoint, I completely understand them, and can even teach them to others. Meanwhile, my heart has been saying, "Hell, no. I've had enough breakage in this lifetime to last several lifetimes. I'm staying right here in my protective little fortress and you can't do a damned thing about it."

So, I'm having a little conversation with my heart. I want it to understand that it is safe now. I know things now that I didn't know then. It is all good and it always has been.

Some of the lessons I have learned from Spirit this year:

1. One of my issues has always been fear of abandonment. But there is no abandonment. People come and go from our lives. It is natural. It is cyclical. In fact, we will eventually be parted from everyone in our lives, either by choice or by death. It is part of the human experience.

2. Another thing I have struggled with is the feeling of not being worthy, not good enough. But now I know that whether or not someone accepts us or rejects us or loves us or judges us is a function of their own preferences or their own level of maturity and is not a statement of our value.

3. For most of my life, I defined myself by my pain. But now I know that whether I hurt or not in any given situation is my choice. I can choose to suffer or I can choose to see the perfection in whatever happens, realizing it is all part of a higher purpose, a purification, bringing us into truer alignment with All That Is. Even if we have allowed something to hurt us in the past, we can choose to use it in spiritual practice. We can forgive and release our judgments about the event, accept and incorporate its lessons and be grateful for it. Yes, grateful. At one time, I didn't think that was possible, either.

So, provided I have convinced my heart that everything is good, it's all unfolding perfectly, and we can handle anything that arises, it's show time!

I Don't Want to Repeat This Claaaassss...

2008-06-14T22:50:00.003-05:00

Yes, that's whining you hear. And I'll tell you what you can do with your cheese. :-)

No, seriously. I feel like I am going stark raving mad. Spirit has brought me to this place before, and whenever it has gotten too painful or uncomfortable, I have run away. I want to run now. How I want to run! But I don't want to keep coming back to this place.

I want to be free - free to live life from who I really am, and not from this crap I've taken on in this life...free to love unfettered by the past. I know that's why I keep coming back here. I have to get through this to be free.

But the urge to run is so strong.

Now might be a good time to call on some of that stubbornness.

I Have a Dream...

2008-06-14T04:51:00.002-05:00

What is a Zero Energy House?

"I have noticed that when I tell people that these new houses have energy costs of approximately 50 cents a day, they tend to think about their own homes. People respond to the idea. They just need education and awareness. Jeff Christian, Oak Ridge National Laboratory, buildings technology researcher

Who wouldn't want a house that pays its own energy bills? A zero energy home combines sustainable design with state-of-the-art, energy-efficient construction including commercially available renewable energy systems such as solar water heating and solar electricity. These homes incorporate such innovations as building-integrated photovoltaic and solar-thermal systems, properly designed heating and cooling equipment, efficient building envelopes, and high-performance appliances.
According to the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE), these whole-house systems are capable of cutting energy bills by up to 70%, and eventually reaching net zero energy consumption from the utility provider while also helping to eliminate energy shortages and rolling blackouts, and avoiding carbon emissions by sending power to the utility grid. DOE's Oak Ridge National Laboratory researchers are supporting the DOE initiative to develop affordable, net-zero-energy housing by 2020 and zero-energy commercial buildings by 2025.

Zero energy homes are connected to the utility grid but can be designed and constructed to produce as much energy as they consume annually, resulting in a nearly zero operative energy costs."

From the Texas State Energy Conservation Office

From The Northwest Arkansas News Source:

"The sustainable details extend far beyond the tire bales. The Stanleys' home, which they figure will be completed sometime this fall, is engineered in such a way that sunlight can be collected and turned into electricity. Large cisterns have been installed to collect rainwater from the roof during storms. That system will filter and provide enough water for showers, dishes, drinking, cooking and more. And when any member of the Stanley family is taking a shower, the drain is routed directly into two large indoor planting areas, where fruit trees and other vegetation will grow.

"When you shower here, you're watering the plants, " Stanley said. "We're making the most of the water. The idea is to reduce waste and conserve energy. It's really just about living better and more responsibly. There are going to be a lot of plants inside because they provide a lot of things you just can't artificially generate. We're not meant to live in environments with forced air everywhere."

A large wall of windows running the length of one side of the house will provide all the sunlight the plants and the rest of the home needs to function. The home has been designed, in many ways, to function like a cave. The interior walls absorb heat during the day, keeping the living space cool. When the sun goes down, that heat is released, keeping the structure warm.

"Originally, there were people who started doing these homes out west because they didn't want a mortgage," Mark Stanley said. "They wanted to save money and build with cash. And they didn't want to be on the grid, paying gas and water and other bills. Think about how the economy is going and all the energy concerns out there. I think there's a lot of added incentive to do something like this today. Imagine a whole community like this. It's not out of the realm of possibility."

Yeah, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

What Then, Stump?

2008-06-14T02:59:00.003-05:00

Normally, I am a fan of maximizing efficiency rather than maximizing effort.

Work smart, not hard.

But every now and then, it feels good just to go at a task with everything you've got and power through it.

That's how it felt working that stump out of the ground with my mother in her garden.

It was tough, but I was thinking, "Hell, no! You are not going to win. I guess nobody warned you about throwing down with a Jones woman". We are nothing if not persistent, determined, and okay, downright stubborn, and my mother only has full use of one leg. Do you think that stopped her? Ha!

It took us an hour to get that blasted stump out of the ground, and I broke a shovel handle in the process, but it felt so good when we finally whooped it.

As my daughter is fond of saying, What then?

I Rate!

2008-06-14T01:41:00.002-05:00

I made my daughter's list of three things she can't live without, which she posted on My Space.

Needless to say, it made my day!

The thing about parenting is, you put in a hell of a lot of effort, and don't always see the effect you are having until long afterwards.

If you want to enjoy parenting, you have to know how to find your rewards intrinsically. The reward is in the giving itself, in the pouring out of your love to someone.

When love and appreciation do come back, it's just icing on the cake.

Why Bother?

2008-06-13T01:03:00.002-05:00

Relationships can present us with some of our greatest opportunities for joy and adventure. They can also present us with some of our greatest challenges and pain. So, why bother with relationships at all?

Besides the obvious fact that we each have a longing for connection, there is a greater purpose at work in our relationships, in my opinion.

I believe that we each come into one another's lives because we have gifts to share with one another. These are gifts from the Universe or God, and we are channels through which the Universe gives these gifts. Sometimes, these gifts are disguised as problems.

Sometimes, the gift is exactly what you hoped for. At other times, it is a reflection of what you don't want in your life, so that you can clarify what you do want.

Some relationships are meant to last. Others are more temporary. Being willing to let go of relationships that no longer serve our highest good is important for growth.

But how do you know whether a relationship is good for you or not? Just because a relationship is uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean it is bad for you. Your discomfort may be a signal of growth opportunities that are presenting in your life.

To determine whether your discomfort is a sign that you need to stick around or a sign that it is time to move on, ask yourself this: do you like who you are becoming in association with this person? If you are enriched by the association, and you are doing what you can to enrich the other person's life, you may take that as a signal that you still have a purpose for being in one another's lives. If not, perhaps you have completed your purpose in one another's lives, and it is time to let go. There's no reason to let things get ugly before you part company.

At least, that's the way I see it.

Was That a Mistake?

2008-06-13T00:33:00.004-05:00

Sometimes, it seems as if things are going wrong. But are they ever? I don't think so.

I believe God knows exactly what needs to happen and exactly the right moment in which it needs to happen to support our healing and growth. We may be acting or reacting out of mental programming that we are not even aware of. But God knows.

Therefore, we cannot make a mistake. We can only manifest lessons - lessons that outwardly reflect the healing and growth opportunities that lie within.

Are you embarrassed by something you said or did? What is that embarrassment revealing to you? Perhaps it is revealing that you are looking outside yourself for approval and validation.

Do you find yourself repeating unhealthy patterns in relationships? They are presenting so that you can heal them. Make a different choice this time. Do one thing different. Even a small change can make a difference.

Don't beat yourself up if things go "wrong". Every apparent "failure" is presenting an opportunity to let go of patterns that no longer serve you. If you can't see it, you can't heal it.

And so, be thankful for the mirror of your experience. It is a precious gift.

That's the way I see it.

It's a Wild Ride

2008-06-09T01:59:00.002-05:00

One of the most difficult things for me about healing is simply being with painful emotions as they arise. The thing I want to remember is that the emotion is not the truth. It may point to the truth, but it is not the truth. The feeling that I will be consumed by the pain if I surrender is not the truth. The feeling that I can't face this because it is all too overwhelming is not the truth. Actually, those are not feelings at all, but judgments about feelings.

A feeling of urgency arises that I must hide, protect, fight, run for cover. This is not the truth.

One of the things that keeps me going is that I want to get past this, and the only way out is through. That, and the fact that part of my purpose is to heal and to facilitate healing for others who desire it. I must pass this way, sooner or later, to get to where I want to be, to realize who I really am. It may as well be now.

I can't show the way until I know the way. And I can't know the way until I go the way.

So, I'll go the distance with this crazy emotional roller coaster, albeit a harrowing ride.

"Duh" Moments

2008-06-08T04:39:00.002-05:00

A friend and I were talking this morning, and he said that he has gone beyond "Aha!" moments to "Duh" moments. I completely relate because I see myself doing things I have done over and over and didn't like the results the first few hundred times. Hello!

It's crazy how often we know what to do in a given situation, and yet we flounder as if we were clueless. For instance, the simple action of asking for help. When I ask for divine help, it is always given. Why do I often wait until I feel desperate to ask?

Then, when I do ask, and I realize that help was there for the asking all along, I think, Why did I wait so long? Why did I put myself through all that?

It is so easy to get lost in illusion, especially in those moments when healing becomes uncomfortable. Sometimes, we are expressing the truth of light and love and sometimes, we are painfully human.

It's all part of the adventure.

Being a Pure Channel

2008-06-06T00:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, I am very wordy tonight. But what can I say? I asked Spirit for assistance and guidance not to give in to the urgency I sometimes feel to replace the armor around my heart - to be okay with being vulnerable - and a wealth of encouragement flooded in. And I always think, if something is of benefit to me, maybe someone else out there could benefit from it, as well. So, here it is.

I realized this morning that if I don't give people a chance to hurt or disappoint me, then I don't give them a chance to love me, either. It's the same chance, given or withheld...just two sides of the same coin. And whether that chance is given or withheld determines the depth and the intimacy of the relationships we create.

We can't get close to someone just by reaching out and giving our love. It also requires relinquishing our urge to hide our hearts and souls behind the armor of "safety", which is only an illusion, anyway. I can tell you from experience that you can play it safe all you want, and hurt like hell just the same.

We can hand our love out the drive-up window, but if we want close connections, we have to open the door and invite others in for a sit-down meal.

All love comes from Source. The people in our lives are some of the channels through which Source flows that love to us. If we block the channels, we are cutting ourselves off from Source.

Now, some channels are more pure than others. The less conscious a person is, the more likely it is that any love flowing through them will be polluted by their psychic garbage. Sometimes, it is not even recognizable as love by the time it flows through them. Perhaps it's healthier to cut off certain channels until they clean up their psychic garbage dumps.

But we needn't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Just because we have been on the receiving end of love through polluted channels, doesn't mean we need cut ourselves off from all channels.

One of the things that is beautiful to me about Reiki as I am learning it, is that we offer ourselves as clear channels for the healing energy to flow through us for the benefit of ourselves and those we serve. We do not attempt to heal others. We are instruments for the light to flow through and the results belong to the receiver.

I believe we would also benefit from offering ourselves as clear channels for love...looking into our own hearts and souls, and asking ourselves if the love we are giving is pure or polluted with our own psychic garbage. Maybe it's time for a serious clean-up effort so that we can be pure channels for the love Source wants to flow through us to a hungry, hurting world. And of course, we can always ask for help to purify that channel.

Just offering something to consider. If it resonates, great. If not, toss it. After all, what do I know?

Patience and Desire

2008-06-06T00:15:00.003-05:00

I have often heard people ask me how I can be so patient, especially when they see how I am with children or when they know how long I've waited for a certain thing or condition in my life.

What I try to explain is that patience is a practice. One can practice patience in spite of feeling an urgency for the manifestation of a thing or condition. Of course, it's a whole lot more pleasant when we bring our feelings in line with our decision to practice patience.

There have been times when I have tired of waiting for Spirit to unfold some manifestation in my life, and I tried to take things into my own hands. The trouble is, a long time ago, I invited Wisdom into my life, and once you invite her, forever after she has a voice on the council of your soul. And Wisdom has this rather incessant habit of butting in at inopportune (or should I say, opportune?) times. "Now, are you sure this is the direction you want to move in? I mean, you can do whatever you want, but be aware that this could result in...yada, yada, yada, whatever." Wisdom feels like a total killjoy, even when you know she is a preserver of real joy. Hey, that rhymes. Maybe I should write a poem...nah.

The point is, patience is a practice. Therefore, it can be learned, if one is willing to gain mastery over the voice of desire even when it is screaming its wishes into every cell and atom of your being. Now, I am not a proponent of annihilating desire. I think it adds a little spice to life. I just don't believe it should be the only voice on the council. But, then again, what do I know?

Gratitude, Giving and Receiving

2008-06-05T22:46:00.002-05:00

My little snake friend came out to play again while I was weeding this evening. At first, he was scared and kept ducking his head under the dirt trying to find his den. But then I started talking to him in a soothing voice, telling him how beautiful he is, and I guess he liked the vibration of my voice, or maybe the admiration, because he hung around a little while once I started talking. I think he was even showing off just a bit. He didn't run for cover until I started pulling weeds again.

It was nice outside this evening, and it reminded me how much we have to be grateful for. The breeze felt wonderful. I feel like Spirit is touching me when the breeze caresses my skin and plays with my hair that way. And, oh how sweet it is to feel the cool grass and earth beneath my feet. And the beauty of the star-studded sky last night brought tears to my eyes. We are so blessed, if we will only be aware of all the gifts that are freely given to us every day of our lives.

This brings me to the issue of receptivity. Some of us find it easy to give and not so easy to receive. The problem with this is that it is a whole lot more pleasant to a giver when a gift is received graciously. I mean, what reaction would you prefer when you give a gift: the person who says, 'You shouldn't have done that,' or maybe even tries to refuse your gift? or the person who graciously accepts your gift and shows delight in receiving it? Hmmm...makes you think, doesn't it?

Heck, if you're giving something, chances are it's because you want to give it. You want to do something to enrich that person's life experience. It is not very pleasant to have someone block you from giving to them. What givers often don't realize is that others enjoy giving just as much as we do. When we receive graciously, we give back to the giver. We allow them the joy of giving, and we give them the joy of seeing our pleasure in receiving. It's kind of selfish, if you think about it, to enjoy giving to others and not to allow them the joy of giving to you. Ouch!

This is one of the reasons givers often block the flow of wealth into our lives, as well. We are not willing to refuse to help someone just because they can't pay us, and we don't want to be profiteers who exclude most people by way of charging exorbitant fees, but then we go all the way to the other extreme and refuse to accept payment for services we render. Usually, if someone is trying to give us money for some service, it means that for them to feel good about the exchange, they need to give something back. In some cases, we may want to ask them to "pay it forward". But in most cases, the appropriate thing to do would be to graciously receive. Just something to think about.

And that's just the way I see it. But what do I know?

Love is the Most Powerful Magic

2008-06-04T00:07:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I met with a wonderful group of people who are part of a Metaphysical Meetup Group in Houston.

We discussed magic and I find it a very intriguing subject.

Even so, I still believe love is the most powerful magic. You don't have to learn it, just BE it, although we could all benefit from learning to align with it more...to experience the BEing of love more fully.

I have observed love's effects in actual practice as it has transformed many a life and many a situation.

Does that mean love always breaks through and gets its desired result? Not in my experience and observation. Free will cannot and must not be violated. Even Spirit won't touch free will.

Nevertheless, I have seen amazing transformations brought about in people and situations by love and its many aspects - kindness, compassion, grace, and so on.

I would venture to say that any magic that brings about healing or positive change is an aspect of love magic, anyway. But in my view, nothing could ever match pure love for potency and alchemical potential.

At least, that's the way I see it. But what do I know?

Waaaaater....Waaaaaaater

2008-06-03T01:37:00.004-05:00

It's wonderful to be back in touch with my passion.

I've only got one issue. It seems the waterworks have turned on and I can't get them turned back off. I'm crying at movies I've seen more than once, and phone calls I'm getting at work. Sheesh!

I took a call the other day about a teenager who was in an accident and is now paraplegic. It broke my heart. And another from a lady who was 34 weeks pregnant and rushing to the emergency room because she was bleeding.

I've always practiced compassion, but I'm supposed to keep emotional distance at work. Oh, well.

But who knows? Maybe they came to my attention so that I could pray for them and send them light. I did what I could.

I always say tears are liquid passion, but puhleeease. I'm going to have to carry around an IV to keep my fluid balance if this doesn't ease up.

I'm pretty sure it will all even out soon, though, but if you find me somewhere with hot, flushed skin and a racing pulse, those are symptoms of dehydration. Call 911. And give me that bottle of water. I need it more than you do.

What Am I Waiting For?

2008-06-02T23:12:00.004-05:00

Okay, so, if nothing can go wrong, what am I holding out for?

Let's face it, finding a partner wouldn't be that difficult. There are plenty of horndogs...ahem, excuse me...gentlemen, out there looking for action at any time of day or night. If you don't believe me, read the personals on Craigslist. It can be quite entertaining.

Here's the deal. With sexual abuse in my background, I've had touch that contracts the heart and soul. I can manage just fine without it, thank you very much.

I want touch that expands. I want a relationship that brings out the best in myself and my partner and expands our capacity to love and serve others. I want the whole experience to be spiritual as well as physical. I want us to be better people and the world to be a better place because of our union. I don't want much, do I?

Whether Spirit brings me the love of my life, or a partner in crime...oops, I meant a partner in sexual healing...it will not be casual and it will not be shallow. Any man who can't handle depth and intensity need not apply.

It doesn't matter whether it is happily ever after, or happily right now. In fact, I believe the only way to experience happily ever after is to string together infinite happily right now moments. Any time you start ignoring happily right now, you can kiss ever after goodbye.

I don't mean that there should never be any challenges in a relationship. I don't know that that's humanly possible. I mean that challenges that do arise will ideally be met and dealt with quickly so that mole hills don't become mountains.

I want it all or nothing at all. What can I say? I'm just greedy like that.

Ding! We Have a Winner!

2008-06-01T22:00:00.003-05:00

And the winning answer is...

Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing has ever gone wrong.

Everything that happens is the perfect and correct thing to support our healing and growth in that moment. Ah, but how easy it is to forget this amidst a flood of emotion. The only thing we have to fear is unconsciousness. And I found myself lost in the illusion for a little while there, remembering and clearing past pain.

My ex was a perfect reflection to me. He fulfilled his purpose in my life completely. In his inability to receive my love, he reflected my inability to receive love. When he was unable to give love to me, he reflected my inability to love myself.

When I am aware of this, my anger and pain turns to gratefulness to him for performing so well at what must have been a very unpleasant role to play in my life.

And while I'm on the subject of love, there's a little poem that reads, "Love wasn't put in your heart to stay, because love isn't love until you give it away." It doesn't matter how much love you feel in your heart for someone, if you don't share it, it is of no benefit to them.

And another thing or two or three, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato. "Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see." - Mark Twain. The point is that just because someone seems to have it together doesn't mean they aren't facing any difficulties, or growth opportunities as you might call them. Things are not always as they appear. In fact, I suspect they frequently aren't. We learn to hide much of what we are experiencing for various reasons. The point is, let us all remember to be kind to one another. You never know when your kindness might be just the impetus someone needs to keep holding on.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia.

Don't be afraid to touch.

Feeling the Magic

2008-05-31T22:50:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling more myself now. I didn't say feeling myself more. I said feeling more myself. Get your mind out of the gutter! Sheesh!

Anyway, I've been helping my mother pull weeds from around her fifty-some-odd Rose of Sharon plants. There's nothing like getting down and dirty with mother earth to help get your bearings back.

So, I was working away this evening, and a snake slithered out of the grass I was trying to pull up. The thing that amazed me most is that I was not afraid! I just watched it, while trying to remember that poem I learned in childhood, "Red and yellow, kill a fellow; black and white...". Ok, you're cool. It helped that it was slithering away and not toward.

But I found myself fascinated, and afterward, I couldn't get the song, Sneaky Snake, out of my head. Only dyed-in-the-wool country music fans will know what the heck I'm talking about there.

I love being out in the country, snakes and all. Trees have immense healing power. Stars are magical. I suppose they are magical whether they are hidden by smog and city lights or not, but you can feel the magic when you can see them.

Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about.

Fine, Then

2008-05-31T22:45:00.003-05:00

Okay, okay. So, I'm here on a mission of love. Trouble would just be a distraction.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Fine, then. I'll be the responsible one. The angels can stay on task.

Just know that I am expecting to be rewarded immensely.

Goddess, you are bossy!

It's Not My Fault - Really, It's Not

2008-05-31T05:33:00.002-05:00

There are times when I think I really need to get into trouble. I've lived a somewhat sheltered existence, although I've been close enough to bad to see people do some pretty serious damage to themselves and those who love them.

So, why am I tempted to be bad, after seeing others suffer the consequences? Because being good hasn't exactly gotten me where I want to be in certain areas of my life.

But the deal is, every time I try to be bad, I either get busted before I can get into any real trouble or something happens to impede my progress into trouble. It's like my guardian angels work overtime to keep me out of trouble. What's a girl to do?

So, the next time you are tempted to judge someone for being goody-goody, just realize it may not be their fault at all. Maybe they've just got hypervigilant angels on their case.

Call 'em off, already, God. Sheesh!

It's All Good...Yes, All Of It

2008-05-30T23:07:00.003-05:00

Here I am, in the calm after the storm, wondering if what I have been struggling with is nothing more than ghosts from the past.

On the one hand, I firmly believe that all that's real is love and the rest is illusion. On the other hand, shouldn't that have covered the past as well? Perhaps if you experience pain at a time when you are not consciously aware that you have a choice...I should say if you repress pain instead of choosing to experience it...then at some point, you have to allow that pain to resurface so that it can be cleared.

In any case, I return to trusting in a loving Universe that supports my highest good always and in all ways. This is the truth that resonates in the depths of my heart and soul.

I choose love, for I am love, as you will find you are, if you truly get to know yourself. And I choose forgiveness, although I would have preferred non-judgment. Once one has passed judgment, forgiveness is key to becoming free.

I Stand Corrected

2008-05-29T23:22:00.002-05:00

I mentioned my thought that you can't feel another person's love, and my good friend, Shawn, called me on it. He asked how I can say that after being in the reiki share that night. And it only took a moment for me to realize he is absolutely right. The love in that room was almost palpable.

So, correction, you can't feel another person's love unless they are willing to share it. Better?

Alright, then. :-)

I'm still trying to figure out the rest, so that I don't superimpose the past onto the present. I'll let you know how that works out for me.

Why Can't We Just Let It Happen?

2008-05-28T09:47:00.003-05:00

I've had a lot of stuff come up that needed clearing over the past couple weeks, and it has led me to a question that I need to discover an answer to before I can move forward in a certain area of my life.

That question is, Why is it that I can give love freely, but I am blocked when it comes to receiving love? The scientist in me wants to dissect this thing so that the lover in me can move forward. Actually, I think the scientist wants to shut the lover up with a "Come on, we've tried this experiment before. It was a disaster! Don't do it! It's a trick."

The reason this is important for me to understand is that I would rather jump off the nearest 20-story building than repeat the patterns of my first marriage. And I am dead set against jumping! I always figure in that little time frame between taking a flying leap and passionate contact with Planet Earth, one might decide, "I really don't want to do this." Splat!

I was a staunch, stark, rank believer in 'till death do us part'. So much so that after years of doing everything in my power to breathe some life into my marriage, I would gladly have died to get out of it. Until that rock bottom experience when I realized, "What the hell ever!" Nothing is worth sacrificing any essential part of who you are to maintain. Like Jo Dee, my 'Give a Damn' busted.

But getting back to my question about being blocked to receiving love. Actually, what is it that we are afraid of, that keeps us from allowing love in our lives? What is it that we believe we may lose? I think what may be happening is that we suffer from the delusion that we can lose another's love.

But let's examine this for a moment, if we lose another's love or loving intention, have we really lost anything at all? After all, how can we lose something that wasn't ours to begin with? Someone else's love doesn't belong to us. It belongs to that person. We can't feel someone else's love or loving intentions. We can only feel our own. Hmmm...interesting.

I think I'll pose these questions at my Reiki share meeting tonight, and see if I can't get some feedback from my good friends there.

Objection! Assuming Facts Not in Evidence

2008-05-26T00:15:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I've watched too many episodes of Matlock.

But think about it for a moment. Isn't this often what gets us into trouble in our relationships?

Someone says this or doesn't say that, does this or neglects to do that, looks at us a certain way or doesn't look at us at all, and we give it meaning based on all the filters we have developed around relationships in the past...emphasis on IN THE PAST. Whatever happened in the past is over. What is really happening now? Do you know what is really happening now? Or are you assuming facts not in evidence?

Hmmm...something to think about.

Love, Sex and Intimacy

2008-05-20T02:54:00.007-05:00

A new old friend I met on the Sacred Sexuality tribe at tribe.net asked me whether I believe sex is just a power struggle filled with egoism or if there is really something loving and rewarding about it? She mentioned not having seen any real examples of sex being part of a loving relationship.

Here are my thoughts on the subject:

In my view, relationships in general are about feeling our connection with All That Is. God, the Universe, the Force, Whatever you want to call it, could have chosen to remain pure potentiality. But instead the choice was made to become...US. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. And the more we experience, the more we fulfill our purpose for being on the planet.

I believe that touch is one of the clearest ways of communicating the love of God in the human experience. Our nerve endings are a direct line of communication to our hearts, making us aware that we are valued, cherished and loved. It is such a deep, fundamental need in the human psyche that a baby for whom this need is not met will fail to thrive and may even die. So, what makes us think that hunger goes away once we leave the diapers behind?

One of the reasons I am so intent on building a touch-positive culture is that I believe that hunger is very much alive in every human being. I think it's the hunger people are constantly trying to fill with material possessions, partying, drugs, etc...only it is never satisfied by those things, just as you couldn't satisfy your hunger for nutrition by eating Jolly Ranchers all day long. You have to fill your hunger with the proper nourishment if you want to satisfy it. And the proper nourishment for love hunger is, what else? Love. The correct nourishment for the hunger for connection is...connection, of course, and one of the simplest and most profound ways to fill that hunger is touch.

Getting back to the subject of sex and the ego...sure, ego gets in the way, just like it gets in the way of everything else. It's part of our journey of spiritual growth to learn to recognize ego and not let it rule our lives. We may not be able to get rid of it, and maybe we wouldn't even want to, but we can learn to recognize it and thus break it's power. A beautiful example of how this can be accomplished comes from the story, A Beautiful Mind. It's the story of mathematician John Nash, who learned to control his own schizophrenia without medication by recognizing that the people he saw about him, and their voices, were illusory. He still saw them and heard them, but he continually reminded himself that they were not real. As long as we bring consciousness to bear on any situation, we can recognize ego at work and make our choices from spirit, instead.

And in reference to her statement that she had not seen any examples of loving sexual relationships, that intimacy seems elusive, I responded that yes, intimacy does seem to be the problem, or at least, we make it the problem. That is because intimacy feels so incredibly risky. But it's only risky because we believe it to be so. We think that if we open to someone and they reject us, it makes a statement about our worthiness or lovability. If we could look at those beliefs in the light of consciousness, we would see that they have no basis in truth. Unfortunately, many of the beliefs we operate from were formed before we had the maturity or the awareness to make them from consciousness.

For instance, a baby who is not cuddled will grow up with a fundamental belief that it is unworthy to be loved. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Love is everyone's birthright, but the child takes their cues from the parent, and doesn't know any better than to believe whatever is communicated by the parent.

Now, I am of the opinion that blaming our parents is pointless. We can use their behaviors to understand where we are and why, but if we turn it into judgment, we miss the value of the experience. I believe that we come into this life having decided in advance what challenges we are going to face, and that everyone in our lives just plays their roles in supporting our intentions. So, if we are hurt by another's actions or words, we came into this life with the intention of transmuting that pain into power or consciousness.

So, why am I such a Pollyanna? Why do I believe that this kind of intimate, loving, passionate connection that feels like heaven on earth is possible? Because I can. I have a choice. As adults, we don't have to believe whatever is fed to us. We get to choose our beliefs. And I believe our beliefs create our life experience, along with our thoughts and words. A belief is just a thought with some emotion attached to it.

What's the point? Well, if you can't find any examples of a love like this, create your own. Be the example you want to see. Or as Gandhi so eloquently put it, "You must BE the change you wish to see in the world."

Don't think that just because you haven't seen it done before means it is not possible. If everyone thought like that, we'd still be riding around in horses and buggies, and we definitely wouldn't be enjoying the planetary intimacy of the world wide web.

Anything is seen more clearly and truthfully in the light. I believe that's the whole point of circumstances coming into our life that bring us pain or discomfort. How else will we become aware of the beliefs from which we are creating our lives? People and circumstances mirror back to us our beliefs, for better or worse. For worse, if we just keep letting it hurt without bringing it into the light. For better, if we examine it in the light of consciousness and discover the treasured truths it bears.

So, if you're going to hurt, and we all will at some point, why not make it count for something? Shed a little light on the subject.

But, like I told my new friend, if it resonates with you, great. If not, toss it. After all, what do I know?

Don't Keep Your Hands to Yourself

2008-04-16T13:41:00.002-05:00

I read recently that light stroking of the skin releases endorphins, which are the body's natural pain killers.

My mother lives with chronic pain, and so I decided to try it with her.

I often give massage to family members, but stroking is something I haven't used much since my children were babies, and I gave them back rubs to help them wind down and sleep.

But, I decided to try this for my mother with her consent. She had been having some neck pain in addition to her usual hip and leg pain. As she lay down and relaxed, I gently stroked her back, her arm and her head. I knew it was soothing to her because she nearly fell asleep and she usually has difficulty falling asleep.

And I discovered something else: as I touched her, I, too, was touched. I realized that my mother had never had someone love her in this way. I was being given a unique opportunity to parent my parent.

Later, after I kissed her good night and left her, I wept. I wept for the baby girl who spent her first few days on earth going through the agony of alcohol withdrawal, instead of being wrapped securely in the arms of a loving mother. And I wept for the child who never knew what it was to be cherished.

And I thought, This is it!!! This is why I am a Minister and an Ambassador of Touch. There is a hunger within each of us that can only be filled by human connection.

Don't let your world go hungry. Touch and feed the hearts of those around you.

Update on my mother: The next day, she reported sleeping better than she has in years!

Here Comes the Dog-ma Catcher

2008-02-27T17:11:00.002-06:00

I am Love.

Your dogma has developed a habit of biting and clawing other creatures, especially those who refuse to bow to it.

I am taking it to the dogma pound, where it will be euthanized (lovingly and gently, of course).

Don't worry. The more you get to know Yourself as Me, and Me as Yourself, the less you will miss your dogma.

Click "Yes to All"

2008-02-26T04:42:00.003-06:00

Sometimes, as you're downloading a program or file, you come across something like this:

Life offers similar choices. Whenever we come face to face with what we have created, we can click "No" - resist, argue, fight with our own creation. We can click "Cancel" - deny, run away, do whatever we can to "escape".

Or we may choose to click "Yes" and move forward, one file at a time. But why not just click "Yes to All"? - take a quantum leap forward, trusting that it's all going to turn out alright.

Why keep resisting what we created? Somewhere, on some level, we have our own highest good at heart. We just sometimes take the long route to get there. And the "stuff" reflecting back at us in the mirror of life can serve as roadmaps and help us make to course corrections.

Clicking "Yes to All" can be a direct route to getting past our stuff. Just accept it. Love it for what it is. Then change course if you want to.

Loving It All

2008-02-25T03:47:00.004-06:00

I felt the Beloved in my heart space today, and I experienced a most delicious sense of expansion there.

I've been feeling life force energy stirring in my second chakra quite often for quite some time, it still being an area that is in process of clearing and healing.

But today, the energy moved around quite a bit, also stirring in my solar plexus and creating a wonderful melting and expansive feeling in my prefontal cortex.

Love keeps doing its perfect work and reminding me of my wholeness. I am loving it!

And I realized tonight that being in love does not require a love object. The most expansive and liberating way to be in love is to be in love with life, loving all of life. It is all love. Love is all there is.

Get Your OWN Path

2008-02-25T03:35:00.004-06:00

There have been times when I have read other people's testimonials about how this course or that book completely changed their lives. All of a sudden, everything clicked and their whole lives fell into place. And I have wondered why I haven't come across any teaching that has just pulled it all together for me.

Tonight, it dawned on me that the reason no one path has been "the answer" for me is that I don't belong on anyone else's path. Oh, there have been plenty of people who have helped me along my path - people who asked just the right questions or spoke just the right words or took just the right actions to awaken the exact knowledge I needed to move forward. However, the knowledge was not an addition from outside me. It was already within and only needed to be discovered.

My path is undefinable, and therefore unfollowable, and unduplicatable. And I am glad. Defining a path tends toward dogma and I am much happier without dogma in my life.

Something Better than Polyamory

2008-02-19T02:28:00.003-06:00

One of the things I keep coming across as I research sacred sexuality on the web is the concept and practice of polyamory.

Call me wild, but I suggest we skip polyamory and go straight to omniamory. Okay, technically, it's not a word, but I think it should be.

Obviously, I'm not suggesting we enter into sexual relationships with everyone on the planet. Not only would that be unhealthy (and impossible considering the number of humans populating the planet at the moment), it would be downright illegal and harmful in some cases.

I'm talking pure, unadulterated love for all. Come on, you say, we can't really love everybody. To which I reply, why not?

Of course we can't be BFF with everybody in the world, and our agreement to the illusion of time and space prevents us from getting to know everyone; nevertheless, we absolutely can come from a place of love in our hearts that causes us to contribute to our world and those we interact with in a loving and beneficial way. We can open our hearts to others, and in the process, empower them to open as well.

What causes us to believe we must place a limit on how many people we love is that we confuse love with attachment. We form certain attachments in order to interact with others in the various roles we decide to play, as parents, spouses, lovers, friends, etc. But those attachments don't necessarily come from love, and love doesn't necessarily lead to attachment.

Love is more than a warm feeling, it is acting in the best interests of all. We may not feel warm and fuzzy toward everyone we pass on the street, but we can absolutely act lovingly toward all.

Is it not love that performs a random act of kindness, or gives a meal or a blanket to someone in need, or offers to help someone with a difficult task? Is it not love that listens to someone who is hurting and offers words of comfort? Is it not love that helps someone who is carrying a heavy burden? Is it not love that reaches out to touch someone when they are down, that offers words of encouragement to those who feel they can't go on? It is love, and when we reach out in love, we are being the instrument through which love pours its beautiful music into the world, uniting the hearts of all who hear.

Leo Buscaglia said it well, "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Let's do it! Let's love 'em all.

Other People Suck

2008-02-18T03:36:00.002-06:00

from Living Tantra

Wow! I think the Universe has my number. :-)

I have been a member of several spiritual communities. Each time, I left because people were more interested in socializing and gossiping. People didn’t like me and thought I was aloof. Like if you didn’t join in their games, you weren’t accepted. I wonder if the whole idea of practicing in a community is just a kind of spiritual babysitting service. –from Portland, Oregon

Let’s cut to the chase. Whenever we criticize other people, we are feeling insecure and alone. I mean every time. No exceptions.

Anandamayi Ma never criticized anyone. Yet she was a fierce teacher. Criticism is when you feel self-hatred or a lack of self-worth and you try to deal with it by hurting someone else or making yourself look good in the eyes of others at the expense of whomever you are criticizing.

Teaching is when a person with some embodied realization serves as a mirror, verbally or otherwise, for the benefit of assisting a student to recognize her or his own fixations.

When you are being taught, you may be reactive, you may feel extremely uncomfortable, but you will always also feel loved.

People express their feelings of lack of self worth and loneliness in different ways. Generally, this involves some form of demanding other people take responsibility for your situation or projecting your bad feelings and anxiety onto others.

If you tend to live more at the projecting end of the spectrum, as does the reader above, you probably have a running dialog in your head, and coming out of your mouth, about how other people don’t care, screw up, piss you off, let you down, are stupid, arrogant, slow, and on and on.

It’s also common, in this situation, to ascribe your bad feelings about yourself to other people: They don’t like me, are angry with me, or don’t appreciate me.

A young man in a community I am associated with was liked by all. He was quirky, but appreciated. However, his self-concept was of a person everyone rejected. Even though no one was rejecting him, or maybe because no one was rejecting him, he built a wall around himself and basically confirmed his self-concept by not speaking to others or joining in group activities. The more he did this, the more isolated he felt, and the more strongly he was convinced that his situation was due to being rejected by the group. Many of us tried to intervene, but he had no capacity to self-reflect or receive nourishment. Eventually he left–a victim of his own karmic drama.

Of course, a student can be critical of others, and people really do end up not wanting to be around this person. So, you start off lonely and feeling lack of self worth, and you end up pushing everyone away from both ends. You find fault with them, and you are certain they are finding fault with you. Then the situation self-destructs.

It can also happen that spiritual communities build a self-narrative of superiority grounded on criticism of other groups. Spiritual communities suffer from this and can be attached to criticism and narratives of persecution just as individuals can.

When we are projecting our karmic fixations strongly onto others and ourselves, it is very difficult to recognize this. Fortunately, most of us have at least a little capacity to self-reflect and find the irony in our situation. With at least some capacity to receive the reflection of a teacher and laugh at ourselves, we can slowly break the grip of karmic vision and come to have more clarity about Reality.

Being a part of a community of people all on the same path is part of the practice. It is sadhana. With everyone trying to be more aware together, we can develop more quickly. This is what spiritual communities are for.

Also, we are human. We are social beings. We need nourishment from other human beings, and we need help. A spiritual community can help you to recognize this. Recognizing that we live in continuity with other beings is Realization.

If you find that the same pattern in your life keeps happening over and over again, you can reflect on this message from Reality. These patterns are our responsibility, even if we did not cause them. Now we are the bearers of them, and once we recognize our situation, we have the opportunity to relax and grow. We tend to think of karmic patterns only as burdens, but there is wisdom in the pattern if you care to listen.

In Ma’s Love,
Shambhavi

Just When You Thought It Was Safe...

2008-02-18T01:52:00.002-06:00

That safety thing again.

I thought I was done playing it safe. And then I noticed a pattern that I have seen repeated relatively often in my life recently. A gentleman had showed some interest in me, and I found myself backing away after feeling that he was backing away.

So, I asked myself, "Why does this keep recurring?"

And myself answered, "You push people away and then blame their lack of interest for the lack of progression in the relationship."

Ouch! Busted! And by my own self, too. You'd think my self would go a little easy on me. After all, no one knows better than my self what I have been through and the reasons I do the things I do.

Speaking of reasons, I found myself asking myself, "What are the reasons I behave in this way?"

And damn if myself didn't reply that looking for reasons is just another way I keep myself from moving forward.

Good grief! Give me a break already! But nooooo, my self has to be all about the highest good and shit.

Alright. Fine, then! It's all me. There, I admitted it. Are you happy now?!?!

Okay, I'll admit it does feel good to step out of the darkness and into the light. At least, when you know it's all coming from inside, you know that in addition to owning responsibility for your own creation, you also own the power to create whatever you decide to create.

Yeah, baby! That's what I'M talking about.

Changing a Belief is Easy

2008-02-10T23:18:00.000-06:00

Oh, yeah? Who says so? Mark Myhre says so in his blog, Emotional Times.

He states that we merely need to find the glue holding the faulty belief in place in order to replace that belief with one that serves us.

It sounds too simple, but check it out for yourself. It may just be the information you need to transcend your limitations and break through your perceived barriers.

It can't hurt to try, can it?

Be the Loving

2008-02-10T03:14:00.000-06:00

"While being loved, sweet princess, enter the loving as everlasting life."
-from one of the oldest sources of Tantric "scripture" the Vijnanabhairava Tantra

Osho comments:
Become loving and move into eternity. Become loving! Caressing your lover or beloved, become the caress. Kissing, don't be the kisser or the kissed, be the kiss. Forget the ego completely, dissolve it into the act. Move into the act so deeply that the act is no more. Shiva says become loving. When you are in the embrace, become the embrace, become the kiss. Forget yourself so totally so you can say "I am no more. Only love exists." Become love! - and enter everlasting life. Love suddenly changes your dimension. You are thrown out of time and you are facing eternity. -from Tantra, Spirituality & Sex by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho)

Love Your Shadows

2008-02-08T11:28:00.000-06:00

This was posted on the Heal Thyself tribe message board at tribe.net. I love it!

There are some wonderful people posting on Tribe.net. I find it very uplifting to read the posts (most of them).

Love your shadows

"There is that part of ourselves that feels ugly, deformed, unacceptable. That part, above all, we must learn to cherish, embrace, and call by name."
-- Macrina Wiederkehr

Each of us has characteristics we define as ‘good’ and those we define as ‘bad.’ The parts of ourselves that we continually reject want to be acknowledged and loved. Until we honour these aspects, they will continue to assert themselves. They will do whatever they can to get our attention.
What aspects of yourself do you reject?
Take a few moments to open to the parts of yourself that you do not love. See each one honestly for what it is. Explore the wounds and the motives that gave rise to its condition. Love a wounded part of yourself and it will heal.

"...self-contempt never inspires lasting change."
-- Jane R. Hirschmann and Carol H. Munter

"The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."
-- Will Garcia

posted by:
Jeff
SF Bay Area
53 friends

My Teacher, Master Smoky, the Cat

2008-02-05T18:11:00.000-06:00

I received an interesting lesson today in the Law of Attraction from Smoky, the Cat. Smoky demonstrated beautifully the simplicity of the principle, Thoughts Become Things.

He has demonstrated this lesson many times for me, but today I finally got it.

His manifestation unfolded in this manner: he went to the door and stood there patiently gazing at the door until I went to the door and opened it to let him out.

How simple! How profound! He didn't scratch or claw or meow or hiss. He simply focused on what he wanted until it came into being.

Wow! If only we had the wisdom of a cat!

Keep Doing It

2008-02-05T00:27:00.000-06:00

I was just reminded that in the original language of the Bible, verbs have a continuous tense...at least, I have been told that is the case.

...which means that "ask, and it shall be given" signifies asking continuously;

..."seek and you shall find" indicates a continuous seeking until the discovery occurs;

..."knock and it shall be opened to you" connotes continuous knocking until the door opens.

Need I say more?

It's All You

2008-02-04T03:54:00.000-06:00

We teach people how to treat us. We communicate what we're willing to tolerate by what we do tolerate.

So, if you don't like the way a relationship is going, change your direction. Stand up for your life and your self. You can't change the direction for someone else. What you can do is change your own direction and then it's possible that others around you will respond and change. But there are no guarantees along those lines. If we are not prepared to accept another's behavior just as it is, we may choose to communicate our preferences. It is then up to the other to decide whether they want to continue as they are or make adjustments for our comfort. This may depend on whether they consider the trait or behavior in question to be a preference or to representative of who they really are. It is never reasonable to ask or expect someone to change their essential self to satisfy us.

If the other decides to continue doing as they are doing, and being as they are being, it is then up to us to decide whether the relationship serves us as it is. If not, the most loving thing we can do is to let go. Let go and let them be as they choose to be. Let go and let us be as we choose to be.

Another thing you may want to consider when you don't like the way a relationship or interaction is occurring is to ask yourself what is being reflected back to you. Others are mirrors of what is inside us.

If we repeatedly find ourselves feeling abandoned or ignored, we may ask how we are abandoning or ignoring ourselves and our own needs. If we feel devalued or disrespected, we may need to look at how we are devaluing or disrespecting ourselves. Once we are aware of how we are mistreating ourselves, and we make the shift necessary to honor and cherish ourselves, that is what we will see reflected in our relationships with others.

When good things don't seem to be coming our way, when our dreams and desires are not manifesting, we need to become aware that no one is blocking our good except we ourselves. And when we are ready to receive our highest good, we will find it was there all the time, just waiting for us to open our arms and welcome and embrace it.

When we are ready, we will receive. Until we are ready, we cannot receive. Everything is unfolding in perfect time and in perfect order.

How fascinating!

Saying "Yes"

2008-02-02T04:36:00.000-06:00

"UNFOLDING AND ALLOWING

The definition of a master is not one whose life is perfect. A master is one who says, “Yes!” to whatever shows up on one’s plate. By saying “Yes” we unlock the raw energy of a situation. It becomes accessible to us to use in whatever way we choose.
Synchronicity occurs. It is just raw energy flowing.

JUDGMENT STOPS THE FLOW

By choosing judgment, anger, guilt, blame, or other aspects of fear, we say “No” to the experience and immediately encounter resistance, a block to energy. We fall out of harmony with the flow. Answers, that would have streamed forth, remain hidden, unrevealed, locked within the blocked energy."

This is an excerpt from an article entitled Miracle Journey written by Dolly Mae and published in The Psychic Observer.

Good stuff. Very good stuff.

Activate Your Passion

2008-02-02T03:01:00.000-06:00

The Blessing of the To-Do(or was that To-Be?) List© 2008
Julie Jordan Scott

My eyes scanned the day's speedily written to-do list, outlined
fetchingly in black crayon.

I looked at my mood indicator on myspace, where I had for unknown
reasons declared I wanted to explore the river, but I wasn't exactly
sure what that meant. On my list of "to-do's" I had written
"collect wood" so I figured that would combine with river exploration.

I read a quote from Maya Angelou and again, wondered what
syncronicity was doing tap-tap-tapping on my heart.

"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing.
She goes where she will without pretence and arrives at her
destination prepared to be herself and only herself."

The only two things on my daytime carved in time-allotted stone
schedule were a phone call and to be home when Sam was due
back from school at 2:45. The phone call was to be at 9:00 o'clock,
nice and early, with my friend, Stephanie, who agreed to talk to me,
deeply and soulfully once a week while I dealt with some of this
"stuff" of life that came as a part of my reawakening. I felt like I hadn't
"done" enough to merit a conversation of substance.

I stood back for a bit, though, prior to the prearranged time for our
phone call and I discovered that lo-and-behold there had been a lot
of growth this week, that I had taken what we had talked about
before and integrated much of what we spoke of and
amplified it… many fold.

I had gotten stuck in my self-critical inner dialogue of the day before and lost
sight of the beauty and wonder of the preceding six days.

"I just don't feel like I have big enough swaths of time and yet
I know that isn't so, I mean, I am aware that I make that up, that the
swaths aren't wide enough… I know this lack based thinking is just
creating more lack rather than abundance… and… I mean…" and I tap
danced in circles of belief and misbelief during our conversation.

I continued speaking: "I just need more time in silence, and study,
and contemplation." I told her. "I have felt such grace, such
abundance since we last spoke," I said as I told several stories of
receiving, abundantly, simply as a result of me being 100% myself – not trying
to get anything accomplished in particular or aiming at a particular intention
beyond simply being me and doing exactly what
my heart called me to do.

Maya Angelou floated back into my mind.

"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She
goes where she will without pretence and arrives at her destination prepared to
be herself and only herself."

The river was calling.

I climbed into my beloved Ford Explorer, Jane, and started to
drive east. Live Oak, Live Oak, Live Oak was a chant running through
my veins – the echo of my heartbeat itself.

Live Oak is a daytime use section of the Sequoia National Forest, five
miles into the Kern River Canyon. I hadn't been there since July and
I was curious how it was during the winter as compared to the Summer.
I figured the flow of the river would be satisfying given all the rain
and snow we were having.

I was excited.

Jane started making a sound I thought was weird and I felt fear grip me. "Maybe
I shouldn't go to the river. Maybe it isn't God
calling, maybe I should get an oil change first, maybe I should turn around, oh
it looks dark in the canyon, maybe I am going to get into an accident if I drive
in, maybe....maybe.....maybe....."

The circle dance of belief and misbelief was taking up residence
in my belly.

"Maybe you should tune into that silence you said you wanted," a
whisper-thought came into my heart.

I heard the Live Oak chant again as my car entered the canyon.

I drove into the call of the Canyon, into the call of the river. I drove into
the darkness of my fear. My heart was pounding rather loudly in the fear places
and I wasn't comfortable at all as I drove into the mouth of the Canyon. It was
dark, the fog closed behind me – a door shutting my escape, and I surrendered to
the call.

I uncomfortably surrended, as Teresa of Avila reminded me,
"Surrender requires courage."

The road was beautifully empty so I felt no pressure to go fast
along the curves. I could take my time and really see what I was
passing in each moment. I started to relax into my heartbeat
and to the rhythm of the call itself.

A red car came up behind me and the "Live Oak" chant became
"take a turn out" so I did and the red car behind me happily
tooted a "thank you" horn as it moved past me towards its destination.

I was almost sad when Live Oak arrived so quickly.

I took the "Road Closed" into the parking lot as a set back
until I realized there was a ready-made turn out parking spot to use so I parked
Jane and climbed out and just stood, stood, stood for a
moment breathing the chilled, crisp air.

I spent, in "human time" about 45 minutes by the River. I
didn't need an enormous "swath of time" in which to experience soul
fulfillment. I could have stayed there for a lot longer, but there
wasn't a need. I was able to celebrate the sounds of squirrels,
the sight of a tiny bird with yellow and green in its very small
flight across the sky. I was able to celebrate the sensual aroma
from an enormous pinecone, the sweet kisses of the wind on
my face and the divine direction telling me which path to take,
which tree to honor with my touch, my prayers, my tears.

In following the call into the canyon, I slashed out sections
of misbelief that were whining or complaining or coming
remotely close to anything labeled "less than" or "not
enough" or "I don't have" or "I can't."

This very short "field trip" away from my cocoon like home
brought me to astounding levels of awareness and presented
me with a gift that I can continue to pass around to my friends,
my beloved readers, to complete strangers who happen upon
these words and say, "Yes, this is good."

It took letters hastily scrawled on a black crayon written to-do
list and leveraged what was there and followed it to slicing through
fear and into the expansive soulfulness of simply being in the moment.

Passion rang out from the crayon, it was in the machete-like movement
of my car into the canyon, it is in being bold and courageous when I
didn't
particularly feel like being bold and courageous when I trusted
in the rhythmic call and kept moving forward anyway.

And I am so grateful I did.

This story repeats itself countless times in my life.

And each time it is richer and deeper and sweeter. I never fail to be
amazed, awestruck, grateful and so glad I am exactly who I am with exactly this
perspective in exactly this moment.

I hear Maya speaking again.

"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She
goes where she will without pretence and arrives at her destination prepared to
be herself and only herself."

Yes, Yes, Yes – so be it.

+ = + =
Julie Jordan Scott is a Writer, Life Coach, Poet, Speaker,
Actor, Director and Mom Extraordinaire whose deepest passion
is helping people - like you - discover and live with
passion. Call 661.444.2735 to book your complimentary
coaching session or visit http://www.passionactivator.com

for plentiful resources to live a passion-rich life.

Do One Thing DIfferent

2008-02-01T23:31:00.000-06:00

There's a simple way to improve your life that is so simple, it is often overlooked. But if we would practice it, we would begin to feel better immediately.

It's simply this: if you don't like the results you're getting from some pattern of behavior or interaction, change it. I have heard insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If you keep doing the same thing, you can expect to keep seeing the same results. Hello! It sounds ridiculously simple. And yet, it seems to be the last thing we think of so much of the time, if we ever think of it at all.

And yet, even changing one small thing in a pattern can produce profoundly different results.

There's actually a book on the subject, Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life by Bill O'Hanlon.

It's amazing to me that often the most profound changes in our lives occur as the result of doing very simple things. In fact, often when the light comes on and we become aware of how simple it is to live a life of joy and richness, we ask ourselves why we didn't see it before.

The answer, once again, is simple. It doesn't matter how simple a concept it, if you are not ready for it, you won't get it. Others may tell you over and over how simple it is, and explain it in the easiest-to-understand terms, and yet you will resist it or complicate it, until you are ready and open to receive it.

So, the first step is to open up. Be willing to accept that things could be different. And that you have the power to make it so.

Have a blissful day!

And change something, if you want to.

Little Lessons (With a Big Impact)

2008-01-29T22:59:00.000-06:00

Sometimes everything that needs to be said to powerfully transform a situation or paradigm can be stated in a single word, sentence or paragraph.

Here are some small but powerful lessons that have made a difference in my life:

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the power to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

"There's so much good in the worst of us
And so much bad in the best of us
That it ill behooves any of us
To find fault with the rest of us." - Unknown

"A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
Why can't we all be like that bird?"
- I want to attribute this to Ogden Nash, but I wouldn't swear to it in a court of law.

"Better resolve to win thy heart's desire
And striving bravely die in the endeavor
Than to have the embers of some smothered fire
Lie smoldering in thy saddened soul forever" - Unknown

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." - W M Lewis

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." - Aristotle

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: 'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.'" - W H Murray

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

"The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours." - Ayn Rand

"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

OUTWITTED

He drew a circle that shut me out -
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

Edwin Markham

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr Seuss

"We don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory." - Howard Zinn, Historian

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." - Thich Nhat Hanh

"If you are going through hell...keep going." - Winston Churchill

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we
cannot live within." – James Baldwin

"I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him."
Booker T. Washington

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

"...try picturing a lobster...snug and protected in its familiar shell. But for the lobster to grow, it must break open that rigid shell to make room for the new one growing beneath it. Once the old shell has been broken, the lobster has nothing but its newly revealed shell, thin as a membrane, to protect it. It would be right for the lobster to fear this change of shell, because at this point it is extremely vulnerable. But this vulnerable state is the prerequisite for growing into a larger creature. In time the shell will harden and mature. If the lobster refused to break open the shell it knew originally, it would only succeed in stunting its growth." - Margaret Lobenstine, "The Renaissance Soul"

Yeah, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

The Work - a Powerful Practice for Transformation

2008-01-29T03:42:00.000-06:00

What is The Work?

The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question the stressful thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It's a way to understand what's hurting you, a way to end all your stress and suffering.

People who do The Work faithfully report life-changing results.

Eliminate stress: Live without anxiety or fear

Improve relationships: Have a new sense of connection and intimacy with your husband or wife, your parents, your children, and with yourself

Reduce anger: Get angry less often and less intensely, and eventually not at all

Eliminate depression: See perfection in situations that were once debilitating

Clarity: Act more intelligently and effectively

Energy: Experience a new sense of vigor and well-being

Peace: Learn how to love what is, and find lasting inner peace

How to Do The Work

1. Judge Your Neighbor

For thousands of years we’ve been told not to judge, but we still do it all the time—how our friends should act, whom our children should care about, what our parents should feel, do, or say. In The Work, rather than suppress these judgments, we use them as starting points for self-realization. By letting the judging mind have its life on paper, we discover through the mirror of those around us what we haven't yet realized about ourselves.

Fill in a Judge-Your-Neighbor worksheet[below]:

The Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Fill in the blanks below, using short, simple sentences. Don’t censor yourself; don’t be wise or “spiritual.” Take this opportunity to express your negative feelings on paper.

1. Who angers, irritates, saddens, or frustrates you, and why?
I am ________________ at ________________ because ____________________________________
Example: I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.

2. How do you want them to change?
What do you want them to do?
I want ________________ to ____________________
_____________________________________________.
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong.
I want him to apologize.

3. What is it that they should or shouldn't do, be, think, or feel?
________________ should/shouldn't ____________________________________________.
Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn't argue with me.

4. What do they need to do in order for you to be happy?
I need________________ to ____________________________________________.
Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.

5. What do you think of them? Make a list.
________________ is ________________________
_________________________________________.
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious

6. What is it that you don't want to experience with that person again?
I don't ever want to __________________________
____________________________________________.
Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.

2. The Four Questions

Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet using the four questions and the turnaround below. The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface. Download the blue sheet for use as a facilitation guide.

In its most basic form, The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround. For example, the first thought that you might question on the above Worksheet is "Paul doesn't listen to me." Find someone in your life about whom you have had that thought, and let's do The Work. "[Name] doesn't listen to me":

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react when you think that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn it around (the concept you are questioning), and don't forget to find three genuine examples of each turnaround.

3. Turn it Around

After you've investigated your statement with the four questions, you're ready to turn it around (the concept you are questioning).

Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you've judged have in common.

A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to "my thinking," wherever that applies). Find a minimum of three genuine examples in your life where each turnaround is true.

For example, "Paul doesn't understand me" can be turned around to "Paul does understand me." Another turnaround is "I don't understand Paul." A third is "I don't understand myself."

Be creative with the turnarounds. They are revelations, showing you previously unseen aspects of yourself reflected back through others. Once you've found a turnaround, go inside and let yourself feel it. Find a minimum of three genuine examples where the turnaround is true in your life.

As I began living my turnarounds, I noticed that I was everything I called you. You were merely my projection. Now, instead of trying to change the world around me (this didn't work, but only for 43 years), I can put the thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the very thing I thought you were. In the moment I see you as selfish, I am selfish (deciding how you should be). In the moment I see you as unkind, I am unkind. If I believe you should stop waging war, I am waging war on you in my mind.

The turnarounds are your prescription for happiness. Live the medicine you have been prescribing for others. The world is waiting for just one person to live it. You're the one.

Examples of Turnarounds

Here are a few more examples of turnarounds:

"He should understand me" turns around to:
- He shouldn't understand me. (This is reality.)
- I should understand him.
- I should understand myself.

"I need him to be kind to me" turns around to:
- I don't need him to be kind to me.
- I need me to be kind to him. (Can I live it?)
- I need me to be kind to myself.

"He is unloving to me" turns around to:
- He is loving to me. (To the best of his ability)
- I am unloving to him. (Can I find it?)
- I am unloving to me (When I don't inquire.)

"Paul shouldn't shout at me" turns around to:
- Paul should shout at me. (Obviously: In reality, he does sometimes. Am I listening?)
- I shouldn't shout at Paul.
- I shouldn't shout at me.

(In my head, am I playing over and over again Paul's shouting? Who's more merciful, Paul who shouted once, or me who replayed it a 100 times?)

Embracing Reality

After you have turned around the judgments in your answers to numbers 1 through 5 on the Worksheet (asking if they are as true or truer), turn number 6 around using "I am willing ..." and "I look forward to ..."

For example, "I don't ever want to experience an argument with Paul" turns around to "I am willing to experience an argument with Paul" and "I look forward to experiencing an argument with Paul." Why would you look forward to it?

Number 6 is about fully embracing all of mind and life without fear, and being open to reality. If you experience an argument with Paul again, good. If it hurts, you can put your thoughts on paper and investigate them. Uncomfortable feelings are merely the reminders that we've attached to something that may not be true for us. They let us know that it's time to do The Work.

Until you can see the enemy as a friend, your Work is not done. This doesn't mean you must invite him to dinner. Friendship is an internal experience. You may never see him again, you may even divorce him, but as you think about him are you feeling stress or peace?

In my experience, it takes only one person to have a successful relationship. I like to say I have the perfect marriage, and I can't really know what kind of marriage my husband has (though he tells me he's happy too).

For an example of how to put this into practice, see the following video demonstration.

Dancing With God

2008-01-29T03:38:00.000-06:00

Hello friends,

Thank you to Lynda Peeler and Kathy Mann for sharing this
with me so that I can share it with you. It is amazingly
profound ... Enjoy!

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance
I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like
dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw 'G: I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'.
'God, 'u' and 'i' dance'
God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God
abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.

If God has done anything for
you in your life,
please share this message with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another !

And I Hope You Dance

Wow, that is fantastic!

Many blessings.

In sincere appreciation,

Linda Miller
269-685-7024

Do You Want What You Want?

2008-01-25T18:57:00.000-06:00

What would you want if you knew it was absolutely okay for you to want whatever you want?

Hmmm...scary question, huh? Until we free ourselves to want what we want, our wants tend to get all tangled up in other people's rules and expectations. What a wonderful way to live, right? Wrong!

Here's the thing: God didn't create you to be me, and I wasn't created to be you. We are not intended to be a replica or a duplicate or a reasonable facsimile of anyone else in the universe. We are intended to be the individual we were created to be. Our quirks and preferences and eccentricities don't break us, they make us.

So, what of this incredible urge many of us feel to conform? Okay, let's face it: a certain amount of conformity is good for us. It's scary enough, for instance, to drive in Houston, without having everyone deciding randomly whether to obey the traffic lights or not.

It's when we conform in ways that squelch our true selves, hide our light under a bushel or in any way diminish the glorious masterpiece that God created us to be that we fail ourselves deeply and profoundly. If there is any such thing as sin, that must be it.

Here we are, creatures of God, created in the image of God, and individuated for the purpose of having a unique experience of life for God, and we are desperately trying to squelch as many indications of our individuality as possible. And for what? For the pretense of acceptance, the illusion of approval, that fades away the second we fail to conform to an acceptable level.

We sell out our souls - for nothing. I say nothing because there is no substance to the approval of others, to someone else's validation. It is all smoke and mirrors and the slightest wisp of wind will reveal its fallacy.

Instead of trying desperately to secure the approval of others, why don't we begin to secure our own approval - that glorious feeling of looking into the mirror and liking, no loving, the person looking back at us; the delight of knowing that we have been true to our self and to the desires God has given us.

Our desires are an expression of God's intention to experience life in all its forms and potentialities. And yet we are free to choose. That's how much we are loved. We can absolutely go through life experiencing a tiny fraction of all that God has for us, if we so choose.

But is that what we really want? I think the problem today is consciousness. Obviously, it's not really a problem, but it does make it difficult to go on in our image-driven, other-centered, approval-seeking ways. At least it makes it difficult to do so comfortably. Enough of us are waking up that we are having difficulty ignoring the call that comes from the depths of our hearts and souls - the call to authenticity; the call to deepen and broaden and expand our experience of all that life offers; the call to make something meaningful and significant of the opportunities we are given.

The easiest thing to do may be to bury ourselves in some sort of unconscious behavior that will distract us from our longings so that we can go on with our lives. Isn't that tragic?

I could almost imagine God's disappointment. Except that there is no space for disappointment in unconditional love. God is perfectly okay with us squandering our life if that's what we choose to do. God's perfect, unconditional love accepts it all. And we can, too. But at the same time, if we can accept wasting our life on things that really mean nothing to us, why can't we imagine deciding instead to create the best life experience possible?

It truly is up to us. We get to decide. And then we get to live with the consequences of our decisions. It's something to think about.

Beloved Terrorists

2008-01-23T14:29:00.000-06:00

I was thinking about terrorism recently and I realized that most of the people who use threats to control others do so with good intentions.

They are infected with fear themselves and they believe that by passing on their fears to others, they will save others from the fearsome consequences they dread themselves.

I am familiar with this kind of terrorism, having come from a church background where terrorism is practiced regularly. The people who preached a gospel of fear were not cruel people. They honestly believed that their teachings would benefit all who would heed them.

I have also known the kind of terrorism that communicates: "Conform or else." Parents are often guilty of this kind of terrorism. Their intentions are usually pure. They want us to become people of good character and good habits so that our quality of life will be the best it can possibly be. In my view, the only reason it becomes necessary for them to use terrorism to achieve their goals is their own lack of imagination, and possibly lack of a solid foundation. My discovery with my own children is that if you lay a foundation of open communication, which includes listening to at least 350 of the 400 question they ask every day when they are small, and answering as many of them as possible, you may find it unnecessary to instill fear in them. It is the relationship that causes them to want to develop good character. They naturally idolize their parents and want to please. If you let them know how much you appreciate their displays of love, generosity and other elements of good character, it is human nature for them to want more of that. It is called positive reinforcement. I am a firm believer in natural consequences, as well, but I believe they are not needed as often when you use plenty of positive reinforcement.

Of course, there are those terrorists who know exactly what they are doing. They want power and control, pure and simple. It seems from my observation that such people are usually brought down by their own harmful intentions. The terrorists I am talking about here may not carry machine guns or take part in suicide missions. Many of them wear nice suits and hold high positions in government or the community.

But I'm not sure they are capable of doing as much damage as the terrorists who love us, the ones who mean well, and so the fears get mixed up in the love and are much easier to believe and harder to shake.

We all have lessons to learn in this life, and one of them is to use our own gray matter to figure out for ourselves what we want our lives to be. No matter what we may have been taught, we are responsible for creating our own best lives, and if we choose not to, there is no one to blame but the person looking back at us from the mirror.