I should be sleeping. I have to work tonight. I'm staving off a cold.
But instead, I find myself playing games. What is the value I am getting from playing these games that don't add anything real or lasting to my life? I think it's the feeling of accomplishment...succeeding at something.
In caregiving, I often feel I'm failing. I have difficulty preparing food that the parents enjoy. I have difficulty caring for them and maintaining a full time job. I have difficulty succeeding financially and taking care of my and their finances.
But with gaming, I can get an instant feeling of accomplishment, success that seems to elude me in life. I would love to have that sense of accomplishment in my day-to-day life.
Right now, I'm letting go of the toxic thoughts that tell me I'm not enough. I'm not doing enough. I'm not good enough. They are lies. I'm doing the best I can. I'm giving all I can. I will be able to do more in the future. I am building the resourcefulness that has been diminished in the process of six years of working full time and caring for my parents. I have felt drained. I now choose to be filled to overflowing.
I'm taking Dr. Demartini's values determination assessment so that I can ensure I am living according to my highest values. This is the secret to living from inspiration, which is renewed by acting from inspiration, rather than motivation, which is fleeting.
