Giving Up

I remember trying so hard to be what I thought would make me lovable to others. It is a kind of death, because if you are not being yourself, who are you being? You are not being at all. You are existing.

You can't earn love. You can only give it and receive it. It is either a gift or it is not love at all. If you do try to earn it, nothing you do will ever be enough. And how can anyone love a non-person, anyway?

Sometimes, giving up is the most positive thing you can do. Trying to change what is can be like beating a dead horse. It's not going anywhere. Give it up! This is coming from someone who is bound and determined to see a thing through once I start. Surrender does not come easily to me. I descended from stubborn, determined and strong women and if it's important enough for me to invest my time and attention, I want it to work, damn it! But what if what you are trying to make work is not even for your highest good? Hello! It's a prison, a dungeon even, but I am still going to make it work. Stubbornness can easily become foolishness. Guilty!

And so giving up, at least in the sense of surrender, is not failure. It is making space for real success.

Giving up on a relationship that is not serving your highest good is making space for a relationship that will.

I like the way it is written in Trisha Yearwood's song, Let the Wind Chase You:

Like a wildwood flower
Doesn’t have to reach for the sun
And when it needs a drop of water
It doesn’t have to ask the rain to come

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

No one says a diamond isn’t precious
Just because it hasn’t yet been found
And no one blames the moon for not shining
Just because it’s hidden by a cloud

I don’t wanna blame myself
Thinking that I’m not enough
And wonder what’s wrong with me
Because I couldn’t win your love

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you

I don’t wanna work for your love
I don’t wanna try to be
Something that you’re looking for
You’re never gonna find in me

So let the wind chase you
I can’t do it anymore
Let the road run after you
Like I always did before
Let the stars catch your eye
‘Cause I’ve tried and tried and tried
And I won’t do
So let the wind chase you, mmhmm
Let the wind (let the wind)
Chase you