Evolving Relationships

The only place love can be felt is within our own heart. When we require something of someone else in order to feel our love, we make love conditional and cheat our own selves out of the glorious and wondrous awareness of love. Well, when I say we make love conditional, is it even really love at that point? I don't think so.

Relationship is another story. To enjoy a relationship, there has to be some degree of consensus on what we will share. It's healthy and reasonable to have conditions on a relationship, especially conditions that keep us true to who we really are.

It's not really love that gets us into trouble. It is wanting to share more or to share different things than the other. We can't share more with someone than they are willing to receive. And we can't give them anything they won't accept. Growing up calls us to stop trying to give things to people who don't want them.

I don't believe love ever dies or fails. Our awareness of love may become buried beneath all manner of pain and misunderstanding, but love is always there, within us, waiting for us to uncover it and notice.

Relationships, however, may fail or end, and sometimes our very growth, health or sanity depends on them doing so.

If our relationships are to evolve, we may need to stop looking for models in the past (and especially from the media). How many relationship models have we observed that are truly bringing joy to us or anyone else for that matter? It's time to create new models that are more conducive to who we are growing to be - models that honor who we really are and what we really want, not what someone has told us we are supposed to want.

Let's find our truth and live that.

Until we do, we're better off being alone. Being alone isn't the worst thing that can happen to us. Being in a relationship that does not honor all of who we are: much, much more painful.