Aha! Moment

I had a breakthrough last night when I asked myself why I find it so difficult to surrender in sex. The answer came clearly and immediately, "Because I don't want someone doing things to my body without my permission or against my will.

This is quite understandable, in view of my childhood experiences.

But unconsciousness is the usual route people take in sex, approaching it without awareness of any effect we may be having on the other beyond physical response; treating sex as a purely physical act, rather than an interaction with another soul and psyche through the medium of our bodies; usually entirely ignorant and unaware that sex can be a portal to the infinite, rather than merely a physical experience.

As I said in the previous post, when we use touch to ask for what we want, rather than checking in with the other to make sure they want the same thing, we leave them with basically two choices if they don't want the same thing or if they are not ready: go along with something they really don't want (ewwww) or turn us down, which usually ends up feeling like rejection.

A sexual connection can be a beautiful thing, but only if it honors the whole person, and the fact that we are touching and merging with a whole person, not just another body.

Might it serve you both better to be conscious and sensitive and willing to move slowly enough to allow each other the time and freedom to feel into your own responses and the space to know what you really want?

We can move forward together only when we honor one another's pace.