Just Ask

Wondering can be fun. You may find yourself wondering at some point whether someone you already know and love could be more than a friend. But do you know what could be more informative than wondering? Asking! Wow, what a concept!

Really, though, if you think there is a chance that the two of you could share something really amazing, don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to find out. Ask.

And be willing to accept the answer graciously, whether it's "Yes" or "No". It's just a question of whether this person wants to date you, not a question of your worthiness.

We tend to put way too much weight on the answer, which is why we fear to ask the question. A "No" to dating is not a rejection, or a judgment. It is merely information. An honest "No" beats a dishonest or ambivalent "Yes" any day.

There is always the possibility that you will receive an enthusiastic "Yes!". If that is the case, do yourselves a favor and let dating be an exploration. Be ready to be okay with it if the two of you find that you prefer friendship to couplehood. Friendship is not a downgrade from couplehood. We still get to enjoy love and affection as friends, and many of the other things that we can share as lovers. Think about how many of the activities we want to share with a lover that we can also share with friends. There are quite a number of them.

And there's always the possibility that the two of you will share big love. And if so, you're way ahead of the game, since you already like and enjoy one another. Just remember that loving feelings are created and sustained by loving behaviors.

Just take a risk. Don't let yourself wonder for the rest of your life, What if I had?