Empowering - Powerful Questions

• Why do I always have more than enough money?
•  Why can I afford anything?
• Why am I aware of my worth and my value?
• Why does money come to me easily and effortlessly?
• Why does God's blessing make me rich and bring me only joy?
• Why does my income always greatly exceed my expenses?
• Why did my net worth increase rapidly and exponentially?

Self Love, Self Care, Self Development

 Doing mirror work, you will hit some resistance. DO NOT STOP!!!

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Lasting, Relaxed, Reliable, Unshakable Self-Confidence Has a 4-cornered Foundation

1. Automatic Success Mechanism: You have to have silenced the critics and be able to neutralize them.

2. Superior Knowledge: You know you know or are busily acquiring the knowledge.

3. Superior Skill or Competence: This can be developed through imagination.

4. Ability to Relax: So you know you can perform under pressure.

Build Greater  Confidence

1. The very best way to  build self-confidence is to do something toward your goal every day. Focus.

2. Establish a self-monitoring system. List 10 things you can do toward your goal. Give yourself a check or star for each one completed.

3. Accountability

4. Reward yourself for progress.

5. Give yourself a break. Avoid burnout.

Living Your Highest Values - John Demartini and then some

 Any time you try to project your values onto others, and expect them to live according to your highest values, you're going to experience the ABCDEFGH's of negativity:

• Anger and Agression
• Feel Betrayed and Blame
• Criticize and Challenge
• Despair and Depressionrai
• Desire to Exit and Escape the relationship
• Futility and Frustration
• Grouchiness and Grief 
• Hatred and Hurt

Values Determination Questions (from The Values Factor on Audible)

????

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You get paid based upon the value you value yourself. 

Raise your value, raise your money.

Raise your value, raise your health.

Raise your value, raise your relationships.

How would your life be different if you highly valued  yourself?

You treat yourself as you perceive yourself. 

Whatever kind of person you think you are:

1. That's how you show up in the world.

2. That is the kind of person you attract. We attract confirming identities.

Healthier Eating Plans

Breakfasts: Green Smoothie Low Carb Blueberry Smoothie Low Carb Oatmeal Low Carb Coconut Cream with Berries Keto pancakes with berries and whipped cream Lunch/Dinner Salad with zucchini and walnut Salad in a jar r.com/recipes/low-carb-eggplant-pizza">Low Carb Eggplant Pizza Keto Quesadillas (use low-carb tortillas, baby spinach and Mexican cheese or any hard cheese) Easy Protein Noodle Low Carb Lasagna Jill's Cheese-Crusted Keto Omelet

Grieving

My note to Laura Gonzales, months after the loss of her mother:

Sweetheart, what would your mama want for you now? Grief is necessary,  but I imagine your mama is looking down from heaven hoping you find some joy in living. 

You two are clearly soul mates (soul mates aren't always romantic partnerships), but when you love that deeply, there's never any real separation. I pray you find some way to enjoy life until the two of you meet again. It would be such a great way to honor your loving mama. 

That love that you experienced and directed toward your mama is God within you. He's still there, waiting to express His love through you again. 

Don't rush through grieving. It takes the time it takes.  But grief is something to go THROUGH, like any dark passage in life. Please don't get stuck there. Let yourself live while Life is in you. 

Wealth is Well-Being, as Well as Prosperity

Wealth isn't a number. It's a ratio. - Croix Sather Abundance isn't something we acquire. It's something we tune in to. - Wayne Dyer

Safety and Security Tips

 BEWARE OF SELF CHECKOUT SCAM!

A friend was shopping at Walmart at 2978 and Woodlands Parkway this morning. She checked out at the self check out and realized her items came up to more than they should be. She went ahead and paid but checked her receipt before leaving and noticed there was an even $20 unknown charge plus a $4.94 charge for a “visa.” She went to customer service and they told her that it is a new scam happening. People are getting prepaid cards, scanning them and then putting in an amount that they want “to add” to it. They don’t complete the transaction and walk off with the card leaving the transaction open until someone comes up and starts scanning their items without realizing there was an open transaction. The person pays and then the money is loaded onto the card that they have. Luckily they watched the cameras and caught the guy because he was still hanging around in the store, I guess waiting for the money to load so he could shop 🤦🏻‍♀️ Please be aware at any store that you use self checkout at! Double check the screen before you start scanning! Adding 3 tips - 1) Always hit “Cancel” twice after you are finished with your Transaction, whether at a checkout or the gas pump. 2) Ladies - PLEASE “Seatbelt” your purses in the shopping carts & make sure they’re closed. Better yet, don't bring it in with you. Just lock it up in your trunk. All it takes is a minute for someone to walk by your cart & snatch your purse, billfold or phone. 3) Lock you car door as soon as you get in the vehicle and don't place your purse on the passenger's seat. They open your door and steal it before you even know what's happening.

- Mary Therese Smith, Nextdoor

In Reponse to Week 5 of Ultimate Self Mastery by Peter Sage - Passion and Purpose

 I received some real gems this week. Unhooking my self-worth from my net worth is a powerful paradigm shift. It's something I know on a cognitive level, but it hasn't quite taken hold on an experiential level.

Another thing that I found truly helpful was the statement that has been repeated throughout the course so far, "You were born good enough." I've been a bit triggered by statements that suggest that our bank accounts are a reflection of the value we add. The way I see it, we make many contributions to the world that are not reflected in our bank account. These contributions are not and should not, in my view, be monetized. What is the value of lending a listening ear, a kind word, a warm hug or even a smile? These are priceless contributions and can literally save lives or at the very least, encourage and uplift hearts. If this is how I wish to spend my life, do I have to make the decision to monetize it or not thrive financially? That doesn't make sense to me.

What I took from being born good enough is that we add value simply by being when we are being our true selves. Our true selves are a contribution. Whatever gifts, talents or propensities are inherent in our being are our opportunities to be a blessing to the world, to make a difference in people's lives, to minister love and grace to others. Whatever we contribute to others, or even when we enrich our personal lives, we are contributing to the whole. That is worthy of divine compensation.

It feels purest to me when we contribute without expectation of return. I call this natural economy. It's like a fruit tree. It produces fruit and then just gives it away. It is not even concerned whether there is a receiver. It doesn't care if anyone comes to eat the fruit. It simply does what it is. Any fruit that is not eaten falls to the ground and nourishes the soil, which then fertilizes the tree and the cycle continues. This is my dream for the world. Everyone giving what they are and everyone receiving what they need. Do not confuse what I am saying with any kind of government administered share the wealth program. Freedom is an extremely high value of mine, and forced sharing is not sharing at all. It is theft.

Something else I've noticed across the years is that many givers have trouble receiving. This blocks the flow of prosperity just as much as withholding contribution because it fosters a break in what should be a cycle. 

Marriage/Relationship Blessing I Wrote in 2012

May you enjoy one another whenever you are together. 

May you know one another anew each day.

May you cultivate the love between you as you would a cherished garden.

May you expect nothing and appreciate every act of love and service as a gift. 

May you surprise and delight one another always.

May your harmony and your laughter resound throughout the universe.

May your love illumine all.

Why Are We So Addicted to Gaming?

 I should be sleeping. I have to work tonight. I'm staving off a cold.

But instead, I find myself playing games. What is the value I am getting from playing these games that don't add anything real or lasting to my life? I think it's the feeling of accomplishment...succeeding at something.

In caregiving, I often feel I'm failing. I have difficulty preparing food that the parents enjoy. I have difficulty caring for them and maintaining a full time job. I have difficulty succeeding financially and taking care of my and their finances. 

But with gaming, I can get an instant feeling of accomplishment, success that seems to elude me in life. I would love to have that sense of accomplishment in my day-to-day life. 

Right now, I'm letting go of the toxic thoughts that tell me I'm not enough. I'm not doing enough. I'm not good enough. They are lies. I'm doing the best I can. I'm giving all I can. I will be able to do more in the future. I am building the resourcefulness that has been diminished in the process of six years of working full time and caring for my parents. I have felt drained. I now choose to be filled to overflowing.

I'm taking Dr. Demartini's values determination assessment so that I can ensure I am living according to my highest values. This is the secret to living from inspiration, which is renewed by acting from inspiration, rather than motivation, which is fleeting.

Are My Psychic Skills Kicking Up a Notch?

I just had an interesting experience. For a brief second while on Facebook, I saw an expression of thanks from a friend. Then it disappeared. I asked her. She hadn't posted it, but she was thinking it.

Now, I've heard of people reading other people's thoughts, but not on Facebook when they hadn't been posted. *rubs chin thoughtfully*

Misheard Lyrics

Looking back at some of the lingo of the hippie revolution, I feel sure that much of what has come to be criticized was actually misconstrued, both by most of the revolutionaries and by the culture they were trying to change. I was just a baby during those times, but I remember thinking as I grew up that "free love" and "do what comes naturally" and "if it feels good, do it" were just insane ways to get yourself into a lot more trouble than you know what to do with. And they are, if you are unaware of the truths those words represent.

Think about "free love" for a moment. I don't believe the original intent of that concept was "free sex" or privilege without responsibility. I think what it was really meant to promote was nonattachment. When we love truly and unconditionally, we will not demand love in return. There will truly be "no strings attached" in our loving. This doesn't mean that we can't form a relationship for life, only that we will allow the relationship to be dynamic, holding the loved one with an open hand, and not demanding that the person conform to what we want, but allowing and encouraging them to be themselves. Tall order for mere humans, but it has been done and therefore can be done by us.

Grrrr...Attitude

I've been uncharacteristically bitchy several times lately. I think perhaps I've been picking up on the angst around the election.

I may have also been channeling my sister, Debbie, who never had a problem saying what she thought, or perhaps my friend, Lisa, who still doesn't. I suppose that where my sister is, she doesn't, either.

In any case, I'm usually the one who stays quiet and listens, which I generally believe is an excellent strategy. But a couple times lately, I've felt the need to speak up, and I did. In each case, I did minimal ruminating, which is also unusual for me. I usually go over and over what I've said to determine whether an apology is due. This time, I said my piece and I spoke it in a spirit of peace, and let it go. Yay, me!

The main reason I decided to write this post, though, is that I picked up on a practice written about by Pam Grout in her book, Thank and Grow Rich, and shared with me by my good friend, Rasheed Hooda. Rasheed wrote about it on Patreon, where he is sharing his discoveries and photos on his epic walk from Chicago, IL to California via Route 66. Hop on over there and give it a read, and consider supporting him if you feel so led. It's been quite an interesting journey so far, and evidence that America is far from what is portrayed on the news media, and is still a warm and welcoming place.

Okay, so back to the practice: Pam recommends saying every morning, "Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today". Then watch for all the ways that shows up for you, and write down three.

The first day I said it, I didn't notice much. But the second day, BAM!

For starters, Hillary Clinton did not win the election. Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't exactly FOR Donald Trump. But I definitely wanted to leave Obamacare behind. I didn't want to be a criminal for not participating in something that was not generative for me, and that doesn't gel with my beliefs. In my opinion, the big winners in Obamacare were the insurance companies. People who didn't qualify for subsidies were paying huge premiums for insurance with such high deductibles that they couldn't even benefit from it unless they experienced a catastrophic health crisis. Now, folks, in my view, that's not a win-win. I'm a firm believer in Steven Covey's stated principle "Win-Win or No Deal".

So, while the election was happening, I kept asking the questions, What would it take for me to be free? What would it take for us to be free? What would it take for us to be free from Obamacare?

I get that people need help. I also get that insurance companies and "health-care" companies need to be less greedy. I also get that there's more to it than that.

In any case, if they can find a way for us to help people out with their health care needs that doesn't impoverish some to benefit others, I'm open to that.

The reason I put health care in parenthesis is that I don't feel that the pharmaceutical companies and administrators of hospitals, as well as many "health care" professionals actually support health. They care for symptoms, instead, because that's where their money comes from. If people get healthy, the industry will mostly collapse.

Okay, but back to my amazingly awesome day. It was two o'clock in the morning before the election was called. I couldn't sleep until I saw the results. But I went to sleep feeling hopeful. At least, once Obamacare is repealed, I can file my taxes without worrying about being stolen from by my own government. Well, technically, taxing is theft, if you didn't agree to it, but that's another post.

So, that was number one. But the good stuff didn't stop there. I also had a lunch meeting and my lunch was paid for. I had a tickle in my throat while at the restaurant, and a sweet lady just happened to have a cough drop handy. Later, I went outside in our yard to commune with nature, and a red fox ran across our yard. I went to my friend Lisa's for our weekly A Course in Miracles meetup and enjoyed sharing a delicious meal with some awesome people. And I caught an excellent Facebook Live post by Dain Heer, reminding us to ask questions, rather than coming to conclusions about what a Trump presidency means.

We are the change we wish to see in the world. We can't give that responsibility to a government without also giving away our power. We've all probably given away our power at some point, but now is the time to take back our power and do what no one else can do for us. Be the change we wish to see in the world.

We are the saviors we have been waiting for.

Just Ask

Wondering can be fun. You may find yourself wondering at some point whether someone you already know and love could be more than a friend. But do you know what could be more informative than wondering? Asking! Wow, what a concept!

Really, though, if you think there is a chance that the two of you could share something really amazing, don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to find out. Ask.

And be willing to accept the answer graciously, whether it's "Yes" or "No". It's just a question of whether this person wants to date you, not a question of your worthiness.

We tend to put way too much weight on the answer, which is why we fear to ask the question. A "No" to dating is not a rejection, or a judgment. It is merely information. An honest "No" beats a dishonest or ambivalent "Yes" any day.

There is always the possibility that you will receive an enthusiastic "Yes!". If that is the case, do yourselves a favor and let dating be an exploration. Be ready to be okay with it if the two of you find that you prefer friendship to couplehood. Friendship is not a downgrade from couplehood. We still get to enjoy love and affection as friends, and many of the other things that we can share as lovers. Think about how many of the activities we want to share with a lover that we can also share with friends. There are quite a number of them.

And there's always the possibility that the two of you will share big love. And if so, you're way ahead of the game, since you already like and enjoy one another. Just remember that loving feelings are created and sustained by loving behaviors.

Just take a risk. Don't let yourself wonder for the rest of your life, What if I had?

In My Absence [And In My Present(s)]

It's been about a year-and-a-half since I published anything here.

During that time, I went from footloose and fancy free to caring for my mother while still working full time. It's been a wild ride, and there were times when I felt like the bull was going to throw me and stomp me into the ground.

Yet, here I am, still caring for my mother, but fortunately getting bits of my life back, as she is getting stronger. She will probably always need help, but she needs much less  help today than she did six months ago.

Caregiving can feel like two people living one life, and until you've done it, you're not likely to get what that means. When someone can't meet their needs on their own and require help with everything from getting to the bathroom to getting meals and medications and everything in between, it can be very difficult to meet their needs and still have any time or energy left for your own.

There is something that helped for me, and it's helped me through other difficult situations, as well. It's the simple practice of asking questions.

In Access Consciousness, I learned to ask questions that I think of as prayers. Rather than looking for answers, we allow them.

The main questions I used to shift four very difficult situations for me in 2014, including getting out of debt with my ex, receiving a car when I wasn't in a position to purchase one and finding a place to live that was perfect for me follow:

How does it get any better than this?
What else is possible?
How could this turn out even better than I could imagine or plan?

This year, those questions have opened up my life when it felt like things could not improve, and I felt stuck. I wish I had remembered to ask them before I got to that point. But hey, there's a reason we call it practice.

Instant Relationship - Just Add Water!

When I was younger, I believed it was all about the passion. Like many, I was addicted to the neurochemical high of falling in love.

Now, I have been deceived by passion enough times to know that it is not the wisest voice on the council. Not that it doesn't deserve to be heard, it just does not merit a position of leadership.

For starters, passion is our limbic brain doing its level best to urge us to propagate the species, as if the survival of the human race depended on it. Well, we know that is not true.

Passion can also convince us that we absolutely must have someone in our lives who could actually make a miserable partner for us. It doesn't consider things like lifestyle differences or availability or whether we want the same things in a relationship. It just wants us to merge with as many different partners as possible, and specifically, with the one who is turning us on in this moment.

If we listen primarily to passion, we will experience a lot of those juicy beginnings, but also a lot of endings. It's fine if you want to go that route, but that's not for me.

Why not take the time to get to know whether you can enjoy one another's company without sex or passion skewing the data? If one person is moving 65 mph and the other is moving 45 mph, even if you're moving in the same direction, the result will be distance. If the faster-moving partner slows down to accommodate the slower-moving one, it will give the slower partner a chance to build momentum, and the two may eventually find a pace they can happily maintain together.

The Choice Point

I can remember a time when it didn't seem like I would EVER become aware of the choice point, that moment in which we can see the ways in which we sabotage our own happiness BEFORE we take that path. People told me that I could. I wanted to believe I could. But it didn't seem that I could. Conditioning runs so deep that it takes practice and stumbling and practicing more to change a pattern. Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible. But it is. If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for everyone. You are not the exception. It only appears to be distant. That's a perceptual illusion. Believe in yourself and your process. And if you can't find any belief of your own, you can borrow mine until you do. I believe in you! You can do it!

Pride or Preciousness?

What is the difference between bragging on ourselves and realizing our magnificence? I believe it comes down to ego. Bragging on ourselves is usually a cover-up for feeling a lack of worth. Realizing our magnificence does not involve ego. It feels good, but there is nothing to be proud of. We just are what we are, and it is magnificent. :)

How Ridiculous is This?

As I was wondering why it seems so difficult for some of us to find a soul mate, it hit me that perhaps we are setting our sights too low. This desire may not be big enough for our souls.

The soul's desire is for expansion. Perhaps it is difficult to go deep with more than one person, but it is also true that we cannot confine a heart without shutting it down.

It feels like we have outgrown the paradigm of loving only one person. It serves us to begin exploring what we are growing into. I still get the pair-bonding thing, but how much of it is genuine and how much is left-over conditioning? I envision us evolving to the place where our hearts are open to truly love everyone, even if we choose to go deep with only one person at a time.

After all, the hippies were right about free love. Love should never be a prison. It's just that what they were practicing often wasn't love. In too many instances, people were using one another's bodies as sex toys. Unconsciousness is what kept evolution in check at that time. But today, more of us are more awake than ever.

In order to go deep in intimacy, it is necessary to give time and attention to the living thing that is the love between two people. But perhaps we'll grow richer in attention as we realize our freedom. As long as people are pair-bonding though, my heart would love to see more people doing so consciously, realizing the love between them is a living thing and will only thrive with loving attention.

Let's do this!

Aha! Moment

I had a breakthrough last night when I asked myself why I find it so difficult to surrender in sex. The answer came clearly and immediately, "Because I don't want someone doing things to my body without my permission or against my will.

This is quite understandable, in view of my childhood experiences.

But unconsciousness is the usual route people take in sex, approaching it without awareness of any effect we may be having on the other beyond physical response; treating sex as a purely physical act, rather than an interaction with another soul and psyche through the medium of our bodies; usually entirely ignorant and unaware that sex can be a portal to the infinite, rather than merely a physical experience.

As I said in the previous post, when we use touch to ask for what we want, rather than checking in with the other to make sure they want the same thing, we leave them with basically two choices if they don't want the same thing or if they are not ready: go along with something they really don't want (ewwww) or turn us down, which usually ends up feeling like rejection.

A sexual connection can be a beautiful thing, but only if it honors the whole person, and the fact that we are touching and merging with a whole person, not just another body.

Might it serve you both better to be conscious and sensitive and willing to move slowly enough to allow each other the time and freedom to feel into your own responses and the space to know what you really want?

We can move forward together only when we honor one another's pace.