One of the most difficult things for me about healing is simply being with painful emotions as they arise. The thing I want to remember is that the emotion is not the truth. It may point to the truth, but it is not the truth. The feeling that I will be consumed by the pain if I surrender is not the truth. The feeling that I can't face this because it is all too overwhelming is not the truth. Actually, those are not feelings at all, but judgments about feelings.
A feeling of urgency arises that I must hide, protect, fight, run for cover. This is not the truth.
One of the things that keeps me going is that I want to get past this, and the only way out is through. That, and the fact that part of my purpose is to heal and to facilitate healing for others who desire it. I must pass this way, sooner or later, to get to where I want to be, to realize who I really am. It may as well be now.
I can't show the way until I know the way. And I can't know the way until I go the way.
So, I'll go the distance with this crazy emotional roller coaster, albeit a harrowing ride.
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