Friday, March 10, 2017

Are My Psychic Skills Kicking Up a Notch?

I just had an interesting experience. For a brief second while on Facebook, I saw an expression of thanks from a friend. Then it disappeared. I asked her. She hadn't posted it, but she was thinking it.

Now, I've heard of people reading other people's thoughts, but not on Facebook when they hadn't been posted. *rubs chin thoughtfully*

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Misheard Lyrics

Looking back at some of the lingo of the hippie revolution, I feel sure that much of what has come to be criticized was actually misconstrued, both by most of the revolutionaries and by the culture they were trying to change. I was just a baby during those times, but I remember thinking as I grew up that "free love" and "do what comes naturally" and "if it feels good, do it" were just insane ways to get yourself into a lot more trouble than you know what to do with. And they are, if you are unaware of the truths those words represent.

Think about "free love" for a moment. I don't believe the original intent of that concept was "free sex" or privilege without responsibility. I think what it was really meant to promote was nonattachment. When we love truly and unconditionally, we will not demand love in return. There will truly be "no strings attached" in our loving. This doesn't mean that we can't form a relationship for life, only that we will allow the relationship to be dynamic, holding the loved one with an open hand, and not demanding that the person conform to what we want, but allowing and encouraging them to be themselves. Tall order for mere humans, but it has been done and therefore can be done by us.

Thursday, November 10, 2016


I've been uncharacteristically bitchy several times lately. I think perhaps I've been picking up on the angst around the election.

I may have also been channeling my sister, Debbie, who never had a problem saying what she thought, or perhaps my friend, Lisa, who still doesn't. I suppose that where my sister is, she doesn't, either.

In any case, I'm usually the one who stays quiet and listens, which I generally believe is an excellent strategy. But a couple times lately, I've felt the need to speak up, and I did. In each case, I did minimal ruminating, which is also unusual for me. I usually go over and over what I've said to determine whether an apology is due. This time, I said my piece and I spoke it in a spirit of peace, and let it go. Yay, me!

The main reason I decided to write this post, though, is that I picked up on a practice written about by Pam Grout in her book, Thank and Grow Rich, and shared with me by my good friend, Rasheed Hooda. Rasheed wrote about it on Patreon, where he is sharing his discoveries and photos on his epic walk from Chicago, IL to California via Route 66. Hop on over there and give it a read, and consider supporting him if you feel so led. It's been quite an interesting journey so far, and evidence that America is far from what is portrayed on the news media, and is still a warm and welcoming place.

Okay, so back to the practice: Pam recommends saying every morning, "Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today". Then watch for all the ways that shows up for you, and write down three.

The first day I said it, I didn't notice much. But the second day, BAM!

For starters, Hillary Clinton did not win the election. Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't exactly FOR Donald Trump. But I definitely wanted to leave Obamacare behind. I didn't want to be a criminal for not participating in something that was not generative for me, and that doesn't gel with my beliefs. In my opinion, the big winners in Obamacare were the insurance companies. People who didn't qualify for subsidies were paying huge premiums for insurance with such high deductibles that they couldn't even benefit from it unless they experienced a catastrophic health crisis. Now, folks, in my view, that's not a win-win. I'm a firm believer in Steven Covey's stated principle "Win-Win or No Deal".

So, while the election was happening, I kept asking the questions, What would it take for me to be free? What would it take for us to be free? What would it take for us to be free from Obamacare?

I get that people need help. I also get that insurance companies and "health-care" companies need to be less greedy. I also get that there's more to it than that.

In any case, if they can find a way for us to help people out with their health care needs that doesn't impoverish some to benefit others, I'm open to that.

The reason I put health care in parenthesis is that I don't feel that the pharmaceutical companies and administrators of hospitals, as well as many "health care" professionals actually support health. They care for symptoms, instead, because that's where their money comes from. If people get healthy, the industry will mostly collapse.

Okay, but back to my amazingly awesome day. It was two o'clock in the morning before the election was called. I couldn't sleep until I saw the results. But I went to sleep feeling hopeful. At least, once Obamacare is repealed, I can file my taxes without worrying about being stolen from by my own government. Well, technically, taxing is theft, if you didn't agree to it, but that's another post.

So, that was number one. But the good stuff didn't stop there. I also had a lunch meeting and my lunch was paid for. I had a tickle in my throat while at the restaurant, and a sweet lady just happened to have a cough drop handy. Later, I went outside in our yard to commune with nature, and a red fox ran across our yard. I went to my friend Lisa's for our weekly A Course in Miracles meetup and enjoyed sharing a delicious meal with some awesome people. And I caught an excellent Facebook Live post by Dain Heer, reminding us to ask questions, rather than coming to conclusions about what a Trump presidency means.

We are the change we wish to see in the world. We can't give that responsibility to a government without also giving away our power. We've all probably given away our power at some point, but now is the time to take back our power and do what no one else can do for us. Be the change we wish to see in the world.

We are the saviors we have been waiting for.

Just Ask

Wondering can be fun. You may find yourself wondering at some point whether someone you already know and love could be more than a friend. But do you know what could be more informative than wondering? Asking! Wow, what a concept!

Really, though, if you think there is a chance that the two of you could share something really amazing, don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to find out. Ask.

And be willing to accept the answer graciously, whether it's "Yes" or "No". It's just a question of whether this person wants to date you, not a question of your worthiness.

We tend to put way too much weight on the answer, which is why we fear to ask the question. A "No" to dating is not a rejection, or a judgment. It is merely information. An honest "No" beats a dishonest or ambivalent "Yes" any day.

There is always the possibility that you will receive an enthusiastic "Yes!". If that is the case, do yourselves a favor and let dating be an exploration. Be ready to be okay with it if the two of you find that you prefer friendship to couplehood. Friendship is not a downgrade from couplehood. We still get to enjoy love and affection as friends, and many of the other things that we can share as lovers. Think about how many of the activities we want to share with a lover that we can also share with friends. There are quite a number of them.

And there's always the possibility that the two of you will share big love. And if so, you're way ahead of the game, since you already like and enjoy one another. Just remember that loving feelings are created and sustained by loving behaviors.

Just take a risk. Don't let yourself wonder for the rest of your life, What if I had?

In My Absence [And In My Present(s)]

It's been about a year-and-a-half since I published anything here.

During that time, I went from footloose and fancy free to caring for my mother while still working full time. It's been a wild ride, and there were times when I felt like the bull was going to throw me and stomp me into the ground.

Yet, here I am, still caring for my mother, but fortunately getting bits of my life back, as she is getting stronger. She will probably always need help, but she needs much less  help today than she did six months ago.

Caregiving can feel like two people living one life, and until you've done it, you're not likely to get what that means. When someone can't meet their needs on their own and require help with everything from getting to the bathroom to getting meals and medications and everything in between, it can be very difficult to meet their needs and still have any time or energy left for your own.

There is something that helped for me, and it's helped me through other difficult situations, as well. It's the simple practice of asking questions.

In Access Consciousness, I learned to ask questions that I think of as prayers. Rather than looking for answers, we allow them.

The main questions I used to shift four very difficult situations for me in 2014, including getting out of debt with my ex, receiving a car when I wasn't in a position to purchase one and finding a place to live that was perfect for me follow:

How does it get any better than this?
What else is possible?
How could this turn out even better than I could imagine or plan?

This year, those questions have opened up my life when it felt like things could not improve, and I felt stuck. I wish I had remembered to ask them before I got to that point. But hey, there's a reason we call it practice.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Instant Relationship - Just Add Water!

When I was younger, I believed it was all about the passion. Like many, I was addicted to the neurochemical high of falling in love.

Now, I have been deceived by passion enough times to know that it is not the wisest voice on the council. Not that it doesn't deserve to be heard, it just does not merit a position of leadership.

For starters, passion is our limbic brain doing its level best to urge us to propagate the species, as if the survival of the human race depended on it. Well, we know that is not true.

Passion can also convince us that we absolutely must have someone in our lives who could actually make a miserable partner for us. It doesn't consider things like lifestyle differences or availability or whether we want the same things in a relationship. It just wants us to merge with as many different partners as possible, and specifically, with the one who is turning us on in this moment.

If we listen primarily to passion, we will experience a lot of those juicy beginnings, but also a lot of endings. It's fine if you want to go that route, but that's not for me.

Why not take the time to get to know whether you can enjoy one another's company without sex or passion skewing the data? If one person is moving 65 mph and the other is moving 45 mph, even if you're moving in the same direction, the result will be distance. If the faster-moving partner slows down to accommodate the slower-moving one, it will give the slower partner a chance to build momentum, and the two may eventually find a pace they can happily maintain together.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Choice Point

I can remember a time when it didn't seem like I would EVER become aware of the choice point, that moment in which we can see the ways in which we sabotage our own happiness BEFORE we take that path. People told me that I could. I wanted to believe I could. But it didn't seem that I could. Conditioning runs so deep that it takes practice and stumbling and practicing more to change a pattern. Sometimes, it doesn't seem possible. But it is. If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for everyone. You are not the exception. It only appears to be distant. That's a perceptual illusion. Believe in yourself and your process. And if you can't find any belief of your own, you can borrow mine until you do. I believe in you! You can do it!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Pride or Preciousness?

What is the difference between bragging on ourselves and realizing our magnificence? I believe it comes down to ego. Bragging on ourselves is usually a cover-up for feeling a lack of worth. Realizing our magnificence does not involve ego. It feels good, but there is nothing to be proud of. We just are what we are, and it is magnificent. :)

Friday, January 27, 2012

How Ridiculous is This?

As I was wondering why it seems so difficult for some of us to find a soul mate, it hit me that perhaps we are setting our sights too low. This desire may not be big enough for our souls.

The soul's desire is for expansion. Perhaps it is difficult to go deep with more than one person, but it is also true that we cannot confine a heart without shutting it down.

It feels like we have outgrown the paradigm of loving only one person. It serves us to begin exploring what we are growing into. I still get the pair-bonding thing, but how much of it is genuine and how much is left-over conditioning? I envision us evolving to the place where our hearts are open to truly love everyone, even if we choose to go deep with only one person at a time.

After all, the hippies were right about free love. Love should never be a prison. It's just that what they were practicing often wasn't love. In too many instances, people were using one another's bodies as sex toys. Unconsciousness is what kept evolution in check at that time. But today, more of us are more awake than ever.

In order to go deep in intimacy, it is necessary to give time and attention to the living thing that is the love between two people. But perhaps we'll grow richer in attention as we realize our freedom. As long as people are pair-bonding though, my heart would love to see more people doing so consciously, realizing the love between them is a living thing and will only thrive with loving attention.

Let's do this!