Thursday, December 03, 2009
We recoil in horror at the thought of someone mutilating themselves, cutting themselves, and yet many of us do the same thing with relationships. I know I have done so, many times. I can look back on my life and see a long-standing pattern of using relationships to cut myself and crush my own heart. It's a sick-ass way to use people.
I have to admit the thought is repulsive to me. I've never thought of myself as a user, because I am a lover and a giver. But paradox exists within us. Otherwise, we could not reflect it in our "outer" world.
In any case, I am done with this. I am laying down the knife. No more cutting myself or otherwise abusing myself using the instrument of other people.
I am declaring my independence from the practice of self-mutilation. I am free!!!