Thursday, November 10, 2016


I've been uncharacteristically bitchy several times lately. I think perhaps I've been picking up on the angst around the election.

I may have also been channeling my sister, Debbie, who never had a problem saying what she thought, or perhaps my friend, Lisa, who still doesn't. I suppose that where my sister is, she doesn't, either.

In any case, I'm usually the one who stays quiet and listens, which I generally believe is an excellent strategy. But a couple times lately, I've felt the need to speak up, and I did. In each case, I did minimal ruminating, which is also unusual for me. I usually go over and over what I've said to determine whether an apology is due. This time, I said my piece and I spoke it in a spirit of peace, and let it go. Yay, me!

The main reason I decided to write this post, though, is that I picked up on a practice written about by Pam Grout in her book, Thank and Grow Rich, and shared with me by my good friend, Rasheed Hooda. Rasheed wrote about it on Patreon, where he is sharing his discoveries and photos on his epic walk from Chicago, IL to California via Route 66. Hop on over there and give it a read, and consider supporting him if you feel so led. It's been quite an interesting journey so far, and evidence that America is far from what is portrayed on the news media, and is still a warm and welcoming place.

Okay, so back to the practice: Pam recommends saying every morning, "Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today". Then watch for all the ways that shows up for you, and write down three.

The first day I said it, I didn't notice much. But the second day, BAM!

For starters, Hillary Clinton did not win the election. Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't exactly FOR Donald Trump. But I definitely wanted to leave Obamacare behind. I didn't want to be a criminal for not participating in something that was not generative for me, and that doesn't gel with my beliefs. In my opinion, the big winners in Obamacare were the insurance companies. People who didn't qualify for subsidies were paying huge premiums for insurance with such high deductibles that they couldn't even benefit from it unless they experienced a catastrophic health crisis. Now, folks, in my view, that's not a win-win. I'm a firm believer in Steven Covey's stated principle "Win-Win or No Deal".

So, while the election was happening, I kept asking the questions, What would it take for me to be free? What would it take for us to be free? What would it take for us to be free from Obamacare?

I get that people need help. I also get that insurance companies and "health-care" companies need to be less greedy. I also get that there's more to it than that.

In any case, if they can find a way for us to help people out with their health care needs that doesn't impoverish some to benefit others, I'm open to that.

The reason I put health care in parenthesis is that I don't feel that the pharmaceutical companies and administrators of hospitals, as well as many "health care" professionals actually support health. They care for symptoms, instead, because that's where their money comes from. If people get healthy, the industry will mostly collapse.

Okay, but back to my amazingly awesome day. It was two o'clock in the morning before the election was called. I couldn't sleep until I saw the results. But I went to sleep feeling hopeful. At least, once Obamacare is repealed, I can file my taxes without worrying about being stolen from by my own government. Well, technically, taxing is theft, if you didn't agree to it, but that's another post.

So, that was number one. But the good stuff didn't stop there. I also had a lunch meeting and my lunch was paid for. I had a tickle in my throat while at the restaurant, and a sweet lady just happened to have a cough drop handy. Later, I went outside in our yard to commune with nature, and a red fox ran across our yard. I went to my friend Lisa's for our weekly A Course in Miracles meetup and enjoyed sharing a delicious meal with some awesome people. And I caught an excellent Facebook Live post by Dain Heer, reminding us to ask questions, rather than coming to conclusions about what a Trump presidency means.

We are the change we wish to see in the world. We can't give that responsibility to a government without also giving away our power. We've all probably given away our power at some point, but now is the time to take back our power and do what no one else can do for us. Be the change we wish to see in the world.

We are the saviors we have been waiting for.

Just Ask

Wondering can be fun. You may find yourself wondering at some point whether someone you already know and love could be more than a friend. But do you know what could be more informative than wondering? Asking! Wow, what a concept!

Really, though, if you think there is a chance that the two of you could share something really amazing, don't cheat yourself out of the opportunity to find out. Ask.

And be willing to accept the answer graciously, whether it's "Yes" or "No". It's just a question of whether this person wants to date you, not a question of your worthiness.

We tend to put way too much weight on the answer, which is why we fear to ask the question. A "No" to dating is not a rejection, or a judgment. It is merely information. An honest "No" beats a dishonest or ambivalent "Yes" any day.

There is always the possibility that you will receive an enthusiastic "Yes!". If that is the case, do yourselves a favor and let dating be an exploration. Be ready to be okay with it if the two of you find that you prefer friendship to couplehood. Friendship is not a downgrade from couplehood. We still get to enjoy love and affection as friends, and many of the other things that we can share as lovers. Think about how many of the activities we want to share with a lover that we can also share with friends. There are quite a number of them.

And there's always the possibility that the two of you will share big love. And if so, you're way ahead of the game, since you already like and enjoy one another. Just remember that loving feelings are created and sustained by loving behaviors.

Just take a risk. Don't let yourself wonder for the rest of your life, What if I had?

In My Absence [And In My Present(s)]

It's been about a year-and-a-half since I published anything here.

During that time, I went from footloose and fancy free to caring for my mother while still working full time. It's been a wild ride, and there were times when I felt like the bull was going to throw me and stomp me into the ground.

Yet, here I am, still caring for my mother, but fortunately getting bits of my life back, as she is getting stronger. She will probably always need help, but she needs much less  help today than she did six months ago.

Caregiving can feel like two people living one life, and until you've done it, you're not likely to get what that means. When someone can't meet their needs on their own and require help with everything from getting to the bathroom to getting meals and medications and everything in between, it can be very difficult to meet their needs and still have any time or energy left for your own.

There is something that helped for me, and it's helped me through other difficult situations, as well. It's the simple practice of asking questions.

In Access Consciousness, I learned to ask questions that I think of as prayers. Rather than looking for answers, we allow them.

The main questions I used to shift four very difficult situations for me in 2014, including getting out of debt with my ex, receiving a car when I wasn't in a position to purchase one and finding a place to live that was perfect for me follow:

How does it get any better than this?
What else is possible?
How could this turn out even better than I could imagine or plan?

This year, those questions have opened up my life when it felt like things could not improve, and I felt stuck. I wish I had remembered to ask them before I got to that point. But hey, there's a reason we call it practice.