Saturday, March 10, 2007

Why Are We Here?

Have you ever thought about why we show up in one another's lives? I think it is in order to help one another along our individual paths of growth and evolution.

Even people we find particularly challenging are invited into our lives for a reason. We have something to learn from them and perhaps they have something to learn from us. It may be that we repeatedly attract people with whom we experience a particular kind of pain. Why would we do that? The obvious answer is that we need to heal the wound inside us that is attracting that same painful experience. As long as the wound is unhealed, we will continue attracting experiences that will bring that wound to our attention.

We are given free will and the choice whether to deal with the wound or slap a bandage on it and try to ignore it. But we will cease to grow in that area and become stuck in the same negative patterns until we choose to deal with it.

Why would we allow ourselves to get stuck like that? Because it hurts like hell to deal with our wounds. We have to clean out the wound in order to prevent or heal infection, and it is not a comfortable process. It's easier to put it off, because who wants to feel that pain? The only trouble with that is that the only way out is through. And so, if we choose not to deal with it, we choose not to move forward. We don't get to go around it, or step over it. We have to go through it. It's the only way to grow.

When we attract people to help us learn these lessons, what's in it for them? First of all, they have lessons of their own to learn. When we enable both ourselves and them to repeat the old patterns without intervention, we stall our own growth and contribute to their stagnation as well. When we choose to change whatever it is that brought us to this unhappy place, we learn and grow and give them the opportunity to learn and grow, as well. That doesn't mean they have to take that opportunity, but it is offered. If they are not ready to learn their lesson, they may move on to another relationship that allows them to repeat their unhealthy patterns.

But that's not our concern. Every soul must choose their own path. We can't choose for anyone except our own self. We are completely responsible for our own creation. No one creates our lives for us, and no one can make us happy except we ourselves. By the same token, we cannot create anyone else's happiness or create their lives for them. God gave us all free will. Who are we to dishonor that free will by trying to make someone happy? Have you ever thought of how controlling that is?

"I want to make him happy." Who are you to make anyone anything at all? God could choose to make us happy, but instead chooses to allow us to follow our own path and discover how to create our own happiness.

It's a beautiful thing, even if it does involve pain sometimes.

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