Yes is Not Always Best

We talked about the energy of Yes, and how delicious, open and expansive it feels. We also talked about the fact that we can't say Yes to everything.

How can we know what to say Yes to and when No is the best choice for us? For some things, the answer is obvious. Saying Yes to drugs, cigarettes and other destructive substances is clearly unwise.

For other things, we need to learn to listen to our Essential Self. Sometimes, we say Yes to what other people want when it is not the best thing for us. At that moment, if we are paying attention, we can hear our Essential Self screaming NO, even as we are saying Yes.

How does the Essential Self communicate this misalignment? Through our feelings. There may be a tightening in your gut, a feeling of being drained or a general feeling of tension. Different people feel their No in different ways. Each of us must learn what our No feels like if we are to align ourselves with what we really want in life.

Some of us live in such a state of constant misalignment with what we really want that tension is a way of life. If we were aware of the damage that does to our health, as well as to the quality of our lives, we might be quicker to say Yes to ourselves and No to anything that keeps us from living our best possible lives. Then again, we might not, but at least we would be aware that we are choosing the health-destroying effects and the poor quality of life. It is not happening to us, and no one else or nothing else is causing it.

When we realize we are at cause in our own lives, it is somewhat frightening because there is no one or nothing to blame our troubles on. But it is also empowering because if we are solely responsible for the creation of our own life experience, then we also have all the power necessary to create the life we want.

A word of caution here - just as we are responsible for creating our own life experience, so is everyone else, so we don't get to decide for anyone else. We don't get to create in their reality. Often when we change our own lives and our attitudes, those around us will respond and change, but it is their choice.

We can't make a particular person respond to us. That would be creating in their reality, and a violation of their free will. If we want love, then the thing to ask for is our perfect partner, not Angeline Jolie or Matthew McConaughey. Can you imagine how overworked those poor folks would be if we could create in their reality? :-)

So, use your imagination and your choices to create the best life possible for you, and allow others their own creations. Therein is freedom, and joy, and love.